[...] Melissa. I would sometimes stare at her without realizing, thinking she would never notice.One day, late at night, when the youth pastors had built a huge bonfire [...] I let her pull the marshmallow off the stick and watch her eat it. Bits of gooey marshmallow still clung to her fingers, and she looked me in the eyes as she licked them. “So good.”[...] all I could pay attention to was how close her leg was to mine, how she touched my arm when she laughed, how she rested her head on my shoulder as the fire started dying down, her hand on my thigh in the darkness.
One day, when we were walking to whatever activity was next, she asked me if I wanted to skip it [...] As we got further away from the camp, she stepped off the trail. I followed her. We wandered through the trees, and I tripped over a rock hidden under the snow.We got to a clearing and she plopped on the ground, then started making a snow angel. “What about your pants?” I asked. “Won’t they get wet?” [...] “They already are.” I blushed at the implication. Seeing my flushed face, she stood up, walked to me, and kissed me [...] I couldn’t hold myself back. I kissed her, putting my hands around her neck, pulling her in.[...] I pressed myself against her and we fell in the snow [...] I rolled on top of her, kissed her again [...] She wiggled, unzipping her coat, unzipping mine, and our hands were on each other’s chests, grasping at softness. I kissed her neck; she moaned and put my breast in her mouth [...] After much maneuvering, she pulled off her glove and stuck her hand down my pants. The chill of her fingertips pressing into me.“We walked back to camp, our faces flushed.”
And like Springora, Lords and Russell, Roux contradicts her stance on age-gap relationships. Roux appears to condemn heteroesexual age-gap romantic relationships, but she condones heteroesexual age-gap relationships between (married) johns and escorts\prostitutes. And she condones lesbian age-gap romantic relationships. #perplexed
As for heteroesexual age-gap romantic relationships, Jeremy Lin, an older writer, gave 16-year-old Roux a "thrill" due to his "sexual attention". And Roux entrapped* older literary men on Facebook with the promise of teen sex.
As with most writing circles, there were certainly older men who loved the idea of access to all these young and eager teenage girls. Most of them were obviously awful, like Jeremy Lin, who wrote an entire novel based [Richard Yates (review forthcoming)] on an abusive relationship he had with a sixteen-year-old. I enjoyed the thrill of hanging out with him and his sexual attention, so I made a grotesque game of it: I would find an older literary man online, add him on Facebook, lead them on, let them think that I would fuck them, then disappoint them.
"No one I knew who started [escorting] while underage was honest with their clients about it. They always said they were eighteen or nineteen, if not twenty-one. They had fake IDs and everything else."
As for heteroesexual age-gap relationships between (married) johns and escorts\prostitutes, Roux, who started "devouring" information about sex workers - in high school, wrote that her favorite aspect of being a whore is giving (older) [married] clients pleasure:
That’s my favorite part of my work as well — making my clients feel pleasure.Only last week I was sprawled on the bed of a luxury hotel in silk pajamas, eating berries while an older married man sucked my toes [...] He gave me a massage and admired my body. I came while watching him jerk off into a champagne glass [...]
Is it wrong that I feel comfortable fucking an older man who's paying me?
Yet Roux admits that when she was underage (16), she was groomed by Anna, a 25-year-old lesbian, whom Roux latter "married":
The way my future wife, Anna, groomed me was more insidious. We became Facebook friends when she was in her late twenties and I was underage. She was lightly flirtatious, but nothing over the top. She acted kind and nurturing, helping me out with an art project I was working on for high school. I began writing for her art blog and she said she would mentor me. I totally had a crush.”“One day she commented on one of my photos, “You look so young.” It made me feel nauseous, uncomfortable, for a reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I didn’t want her to see me as young.”
As with most memoirs, the “childhood” section of the book is the least interesting. Things get cooking when Roux finds her calling [as a Whore of San Francisco].
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