DIRTY LITTLE [Teen] SECRETS: Attention Craving Promiscuous Nymphets

Kerry Cohen asserted in Dirty Little Secrets Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity that:

"[...] almost every girl you see. They believe in their hearts that they are worth nothing, that they have little to offer. They believe boys will pull them out of their ordinariness and finally, finally, transform them into someone better than who they are."

"They give out blow jobs like kisses and hope for love in return."

"But they aren't sex addicts or even love addicts. What they crave is the attention [which is their "dirty little secret"], that moment when a boy looks at them and they can believe that they are worth something to someone. They can believe that they matter."

Cohen wrote that, despite the widespread belief to the contrary, girls are sexual and: "[...] have just as much sexual desire and curiosity as boys." 

And we know that Cohen's claim that girls masturbate can be confirmed by Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies; thus, it isn't surprising that Cohen shared that the Guttmacher Institute reported that:

• Almost 50% of girls between the ages of 15 and 19 had sex at least once and 27% of girls between the ages of 13 and 16 had sex more than once.
• Approximately 8.8 million girls between the ages of 15 and 24 acquire a STD every year.
• And approximately 750,000 girls between the ages of 15 and 19 get pregnant every year - 82% of them are unplanned.
• In addition, Cohen wrote that: "Thirteen year old girls proudly extol their abilities to give blow jobs, which they do in the bathrooms at parties or at school. Middle and high schoolers have sex parties...and lots of adolescent girls watch porn."

Cohen makes a vital point that there's a distinction between: "[...] acting on natural sexual feelings and using male attention and sex to fill emptiness [...]" In other words, nymphets enjoy sex just as much as boys do, but they often use sex to get the attention that they crave from boys and men.

And Cohen points out that the desire to get the attention of the opposite is reinforced by the media. She advised readers to: "Take a quick glance at some of the top teen girls' magazines and you see these headlines [like]: "How do Get a Guy's Attention" [...] [and] just about every Disney princess plot revolves around snagging a man. The Little Mermaid is a perfect example. The main character Ariel doesn't even speak, and then she gives up her entire identity as a mermaid and singer to get her guy."

Cohen gives a number of examples of girls who haven't handled the distinction between being sexual and craving attention well e.g.,

• 12-year-old Lana gave blow jobs regularly
• When Kelsey was in the 6th grade, she gave a Burger King cashier a handjob during his break
• 14-year-old Lourdes met her 24-year-old boyfriend at an underage club

But psychologist Marta Meana wrote in a New York Times Magazine piece that: "[...] women's desire is not relational, it's narcissistic. It is dominated by the yearnings of 'self-love,' by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need." 

Therefore, a nymphets desire for attention may be more powerful than her sexual desires, which would, at least partially, explain why so many nymphets produce raunchy cellphone pictures and webcam videos, which boys and men desperately crave. 

For example, Cohen shared how 15-year-old Johanna gets: "[...] a rush from the power [...]" that comes from the attention she gets on the Internet." 

Thus, it's a feedback loop i.e., Girls crave attention. Girls use sex to get attention. Boys crave sex. Boys give girls the attention they crave - temporarily. And a boy can only imagine how a girl feels when she gets both attention and sex - two things that she enjoys tremendously. 

I related the preceding information, because I can verify Cohen's information based on my own research; however, the following claims made by Cohen are erroneous. She claimed that: 

"[...] girls who chose men so far out of their age range also tend toward low self-esteem and depression. Many of these girls are looking to replace their abusive or difficult families with new ones." 

But in the prior 48 pages of the book, Cohen surmised that most girls suffer from a low self-esteem - not just the teleiophiles. 

Lastly, she wrote "[...] girls I interviewed told me they felt that teenage boys were immature and that they like how the older men treated them [...]" But in the next paragraph she wrote: "[...] men who choose teenage girls tend to be immature and insecure, with egos matching those of teenage boys. Many have criminal histories [...]" I hope that the contradiction is apparent. And to make the claim that "many" ephebophiles are criminals is preposterous. 

LOVE LETTERS OF A PORTUGUESE NUN (1977): A German Teen's Virginity is Sacrificed

In Jess Franco's Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun (1977) [German: Die Liebesbriefe einer portugesischen Nonne], after Father Vicente, a middle-aged priest and The Confessor of Sins, catches 15-year-old Maria (Susan Hemingway) committing "[...] wicked and shameful behavior."  in the woods with a 17-year-old boy, the priest convinces Maria's mother to send the nymphet to the convent. Father Vicente warns that Maria, "[...] will surely be condemned to hell if she continues to run loose."

Upon arriving at the convent, Maria is fingered given a vaginal exam to verify her virginity by Mother Alma, the Grand Priestess, while Father Vicente pleasingly watches. Mother Alma demanded, "Spread your legs apart. More! Wider!" 

After the nymphet passed her vaginal exam, she was sent to the confessional. Father Vicente inquired, "Did you ever experience pleasure?" Maria answered by describing how she performed oral sex on her older cousin in a dream. Father Vicente audibly masturbated until orgasm during Maria's confession.

Maria is then shown to her room and is soon visited by the two youngest nuns in the convent. One of the young nuns welcomes Maria with a "sisterly kiss" on the lips before the nuns invite Marie to play a lipstick lesbian "game". But their game is interrupted by the Grand Priestess who, on the orders of Father Vicente, proceeds to sensually undress Maria and wrap her nude body in thorns. The Grand Priestess informs Maria that she must endure the pain of the thorns to achieve salvation.

When a letter that Maria sends to her mother explaining the hypocrisy of Father Vicente is intercepted, Maria is placed in a "cell of isolation" to repent; however, Father Vicente informs Maria that if she really wants to repent she must make, "A holy sacrifice," by sacrificing her virginity to satan (Herbert Fux). 

But before Marie has the honor of sacrificing her virginity, she must prove herself worthy of the "honor" by performing a task or "penance", which is to perform oral sex on Father Vicente! Subsequently, Maria's 15-year-old virginity is taken by the devil in the midst of the nuns masturbating and having lesbian sex. 

In the end, Maria refuses to believe that it was all a dream and does everything that she can to escape the convent, expose Father Vicente and Mother Alma, and avoid being burned at the stake.

Interestingly, Susan Hemingway was 14-years-old when Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun (1977) was filmed in Germany where the age-of-consent is, you guessed it, 14.

LES LIAISONS DANGEREUSES: Sexual Seduction of 15-Year-Old French Teen

I wrote in The Allure of Nymphets that the opening credits for Cruel Intentions (1999) revealed that the movie was “suggested” by the novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Choderlos De Laclos. 

Here's the abbreviated Wikipedia plot summary of Les Liaisons dangereuses:

The Vicomte de Valmont is determined to seduce the virtuous, married ... Madame de Tourvel. At the same time, the Marquise de Merteuil is determined to corrupt the young [15-year-old] Cécile de Volanges, whose mother has only recently brought her out of a convent to be married — to Merteuil's previous lover [36-year-old M. le Comte de Gercourt], who has rudely discarded her. [However] Cécile falls in love with the Chevalier Danceny (her young music tutor), and Merteuil and Valmont pretend to help the secret lovers in order to gain their trust and use them later in their own schemes.

We already know why Valmont seduced Cécile, who is described in the novel as "really pretty, she is only fifteen; a rosebud...[an] innocent convent-girl..." but let's take a look at how he seduced the nymphet. 

1. Self-Confidence 

Valmont possesses a high level of self-confidence, and he clearly practices Assumed Attraction i.e., he has no doubt in his mind that Cécile will be attracted to him and that he could seduce the maiden. Valmont boasts that Cécile, "[...] would be handed over to me defenseless, who could not fail to be intoxicated by a first attention [...] whom curiosity would probably lead more rapidly than love."

What Kerry Cohen wrote in Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity supports Valmont's stance that females become intoxicated by male attention. She wrote "What they crave is attention, that moment when a boy looks at them and they can believe that they are worth something to someone. They can believe that they matter."

2. Presence\Focus Charisma

In addition, Valmont is focused, which is an essential part of charisma according to the book The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. Madame de Volanges wrote that Valmont "[...] has never from his earliest youth taken one step or said one word without a purpose [...]" And the author of the ebook The October Man Sequence advises that pickup artists should maintain that level of moment-to-moment focus.

3. Self-Efficacy

Geoff Colvin relates in Talent is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else that for one to be a world-class performer he or she should possess self-efficacy, which is a tool that can be used to help one succeed in specific situations. One aspect of self-efficacy is using Performance Outcomes (i.e., past experiences) to increase one's self-confidence. 

In an attempt to humble Valmont, Marquise de Merteuil wrote, "You [Valmont] have seduced, ruined even, a number of women [...] Where is there in that any merit which is really yours? A handsome face, the result of mere chance; grace, which is almost always given by experience [...] quite praiseworthy impudence (i.e., extreme self-confidence), but probably due solely to the facility of your first successes [...]"

Thus, Valmont's attractive grace and impudence can be attributed to his previous Performance Outcomes.

4. Attention via Eye-Contact

Michael Ellsberg wrote in the book The Power of Eye Contact that eye contact "[...] doesn't create attraction. What it does do [...] is reveal attraction and makes both parties unmistakably aware of it."

Consequently, Valmont used eye contact to reveal is attraction to Cécile. He made use of "tender and pressing" glances, which caused the nymphet to "lower her large, modest eyes." After looking at her "angelic face" his eyes wandered "[...] over all her person" He said, "[...] I amused myself by guessing at the curves and forms through a light but always troublesome garment. After I had descended from the head to her feet, I returned from the feet to her head. My fair friend, that soft gaze was fixed upon me [...] Then there was established between us [...] the first treaty of love [...]"

5. Gorilla Seduction

Valmont requested that Cécile remove the key to her bedroom door from her mother's mantle, so that he could procure a copy under the guise of making it easier for him to relay letters to Cécile from Danceny. But what Valmont really had in mind were "nocturnal rendezvous".

After making a copy of the key and making sure "everything was quiet in the chateau", armed with a dark lantern, Valmont made his way into Cécile's bedroom. Cécile, whom Valmont describes as having a, "[...[ little person's pretty look", a "fresh mouth", and a "childish air" was asleep, but he was able to wake her without causing a stir in the chateau.

Valmont wrote, "[...] I promised everything for a kiss [...] After much bargaining, we agreed on a second [...] Then I guided the timid arms around my body, I held her more amorously in one of mine, and the soft kiss was indeed received [...] I have begun to like slow methods, I tell you. Once certain of arriving, why hurry on the journey so fast?"

But Valmont didn't wait long before moving on to the next phase of seduction. He wrote that Cécile, "yielded at first and ended up by consenting [...] we did not separate until we were satisfied with each other and had both agreed [...]" on the next rendezvous.

It's worth sharing that Valmont didn't get back to room until dawn and "[...] was worn out with fatigue [...]" but went to breakfast, because he had a "[...] passion for observing behaviors the morning after." And Valmont observed that the nymphet he seduced had, "[...] embarrassment in her countenance! Difficulty in walking! Eyes continually lowered, and so large and so tired!"

If you read the novel, it may appear that Valmont raped Cécile, but the maiden admitted she didn't thwart Valmont's advances as aggressively as she could have. She wrote, "[...] I am afraid I did not defend myself as much as I could have [...] there were moments when I was if I loved him [...] and I was weak enough to consent that he should come again this evening [...]"

After subsequent late night visits from Valmont, Cécile wrote, "[...] I must admit there is great pleasure in it; so I am scarcely at all unhappy [...] And also M. de Valmont is very charming!"

But Valmont didn't stop there. You used another seduction technique on the nymphet. One that he wrote, "[...] is not always necessary for seducing a girl, it is indispensable and often the most efficacious way, when you wish to deprave her [...]" And what seduction technique did he use? He falsely related "scandalous adventures" about Cécile's mother, for "[...] she who does not respect her mother will not respect herself [...]" 

And before long, Valmont had seduced the nymphet to meet in his room. He wrote, "I have received her there twice; and in this short space the scholar has become almost as learned as the master. Yes, truly, I have taught her everything, including the complaisances!"

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

After the scandalous novel, which the author stated was based on personal observations of French nobles, was published in 1782, it was enjoyed by the likes of Queen Marie Antoinette. And despite the fact that Les Liaisons Dangereuses involves a middle-aged man seducing, "ruining", and taking the virginity of a 15-year-old girl, it has been adapted into a number of plays, films, television shows, ballets, radio shows and operas. 

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

For example, Dangerous Liaisons (1988) starred Uma Thurman as Cécile and John Malkovich as Vicomte de Valmont. In the film, a nude slash topless 17-year-old Uma Thurman had a sex scene with 35-year-old John Malkovich. And 15-year-old Cécile [Thurman] was informed that she had been arranged to marry a 36-year-old man. To which she exclaimed, "36! He's an old man!"

Unsurprisingly, Dangerous Liaisons (1988) was nominated for seven Academy Awards including Best Picture. The film won the award for Best Adapted Screenplay.