Wednesday, August 31, 2022

UPDATE: Leo DiCaprio & Camila Morrone Have Split & FYI: DiCaprio Doesn't Date Over 25

Leonardo DiCaprio & Camila Morrone 

I related in Teens Love and Want to F*ck James Franco: A Study of a Life and Works that Daniella Scott of Cosmopolitan related that Leonardo DiCaprio met Camila Morrone when she was 12, reunited with her when she was 19, and shortly thereafter started openly dating the actress.

Perez Hilton's post "Leonardo DiCaprio’s New GF Responds To Nasty Instagram Comments About [Age-Gap] Relationship!" related that 44-year-old DiCaprio‘s 22-year-old girlfriend, Morrone, responded via an Instagram video to trolls who left disparaging comments about her two-year relationship with DiCaprio. (i.e., They started openly dating when Leo was 42 and Camila was 19.)

Very interestingly, Leo has not been widely canceled for his age-gap relationship, but some trolls left comments on Morrone's video like: “Leo only cares about your body” and “You only have a couple more years before he dumps you girl! Collect your bag 😍”. 

Morrone in Never Goin' Back (2018)

We know Morrone from her role as a naughty teen in Never Goin' Back (2018). Here's IMDb's plot summary:
Jessie and Angela, high school dropouts, are taking a week off to chill at the beach. Too bad their house got robbed, rent's due, they're about to get fired, and they're broke.
Morrone in Never Goin' Back (2018)

Scott Menzel of We Live Entertainment opined that Never Goin' Back (2018) is: "A sweet and raunchy [e.g., lipstick lesbianism, cocaine use, etc.] tale of glorious idiocy."

UPDATE: Wednesday August 31, 2022

Allie Jones posted on Gawker "This Bitch Really Did It: Leo DiCaprio broke up with his girlfriend days after she turned 25" (Aug 31, 2022) Thus, it appears that 47-year-old DiCaprio and 25-year-old Morrone have split. 

Source: Reddit\TrustLittleBrother

Jones appeared to be surprised by the split, but some fans weren't because DiCaprio doesn't appear to date anyone over 25, which is exemplified by the graph LEONARDO DICAPRIO REFUSED TO DATE A WOMAN OVER 25. The graph illustrates that DiCaprio dated:

  • Gisele Bundchen from when she was 18 to 23
  • Bar Refaeli from when she was 20 to 25 
  • Blake Lively while she was 23
  • Erin Heatherton while she was 22
  • Toni Garrn from when she was  20 to 21
  • Kelly Rohrback while she was 25
  • Nina Agdal from when she was 24 to 25

Perhaps fittingly, Jones ended her Gawker piece by writing: 

In November, DiCaprio will turn 48. And somewhere in America, his next girlfriend is getting ready to start her senior year of high school. We wish her the best.

NOTE: This post has been updated, revised and expanded into a Substack:  25 & Under? A History of Leo DiCaprio’s Titanic Age-Gap Affairs

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Netflix's SENIOR YEAR (2022): Teen Handies & Twerking Cheerleaders


Here's the IMDb's synopsis for Netflix's Senior Year (2022): "A cheerleading stunt gone wrong landed her [Stephanie Conway (Rebel Wilson)] in a 20-year coma. Now she's 37, newly awake and ready to live out her high school dream: becoming prom queen."

The young Stephanie Conway, a high school senior, was played by Angourie Rice who shared, minutes into the movie, that Deanna Russo's "perfect husband" had a "famously girthy dong". (Deanna was Stephanie's idol due to Deanna being a Harding High cheer captain and prom queen in 1995.)

Moments later, Stephanie informed her friend that the she kept a sock in her Volkswagen that she used to give Blaine, her boyfriend, teen "handies". Stephanie, "[...] I need that sock back. It's Blaine's. We use it for handies."

Later, Stephanie related that during her prom night after party, she planned to lose her, "[...] bottom half virginity to Blaine" in the "VIP, VIP section" that she reserved "For [teen] boning".

Subsequently, Stephanie (Rebel Wilson) instructed two Harding High students on how to become popular - one of which was to have anal sex

"There's only, like, three ways to become popular: to be a cheerleader, to work at Abercrombie or to let guys go in the back door." 

Unsurprisingly, one of the high school students replied, "Oh my G_d, I must be really popular then."

And not one to shy away from offering (unsolicited) advice, Stephanie (Rebel Wilson) informed the same students about how to get over their fear of someone's dad, which was to perform oral sex on the dad(dy)Unsurprisingly, one of the high school students replied, "Good to know."

Janet (Avantika)

Interestingly, after Janet, who was played by 16-year-old Disney star Avantika, pleaded with Stephanie, "Don't blow my dad," the director, taking advantage of the allure of a nymphet, had Janet twerk in her cheerleading uniform in front of the students, teachers and staff of Harding High. Later, a dancing Janet asked a friend to film her before the nymphet screamed, "Suck my vulva!" into the iPhone's camera.

Lastly, Daniel M. Kimmel of North Shore Movies gave Senior Year a 4 out of 5 on Rotten Tomatoes and opined: "...a fast and funny take on how much high school has changed – and not changed – over the last two decades." And we remember Angourie Rice from Mare  Easttown were Mare posited, "Trust me. Teenage girls are fucking sneaky."

Friday, August 19, 2022

Wendy C. Ortiz’s EXCAVATION: A Schoolgirl-Teacher Sexual Affair Memoir

Wendy C. Ortiz’s Excavation, a student-teacher sexual affair memoir, is an anomaly in that in the previous age-gap memoirs we’ve recapped, the memoirists shared that they had to be convinced that they had been groomed and victimized. However, Wendy doesn’t purport to being groomed or victimized by her teacher. 

And Paul Lisicky blurbed: “It’s rare to meet a memoirist who can write about the darkest things without judgment and emotional simplification.” And Cari Luna blurbed: “Ortiz is a fearless and generous storyteller, peeling back the layers of memory [i.e., “handwritten, detailed journals”] [...] never slipping into the easy traps of sentimentality or self pity.”

The affair began in September of 1986 in Wendy’s advanced 8th grade English class. Wendy described Mr. Ivers, her English teacher, as well-dressed, an easy talker but with a booming voice and with a “thick hand”. Attracted and finding herself on the edge of her seat, Wendy decided to “display a disinterest”; however, she let her “[...] knees splay out just enough to suggest a hint of the “unladylike” [...]”

Later Wendy shared: “Looking at Mr. Ivers, I felt a tickle in my groin. I bit my lip [...]”

Days after the first day of school and after Wendy informed Mr. Ivers that she was writing a novel: “[...] where people are, you know, making out, doing more than that, you know”, he asked for a copy of the novel and had her call him at home to talk about the book.

Of their first conversation, Wendy wrote that her English teacher revealed that he had a “huge crush” on her and that he wondered what it would be like “[...] to have his face between [...]” her legs!

My teacher was revealing to me, admitting to me, that he had a huge crush on me.

He said he wondered what it would be like to have his face between my legs, and I crossed my legs hard [...] I found myself enjoying the way he growled these desires in my ear. 

[Note: Unsurprising to us, 28-year-old Mr. Ivers wasn’t 13-year-old Wendy’s first age-gap affair. She had “weekend romps” with a tall and cute 20-year-old in his El Camino and behind a L.A. mall.]

Interestingly, and like a confession straight out of My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies, Wendy confessed that at 13-years-old, behind her: 

“[...] closed bedroom door, [she] pressed against the yellow carpeted floor, panting and writhing [...] humping the carpet with nude women etched in my mind’s eye [...] a deep intake of breath to withhold the revelatory sigh so it did not travel [...]” 

In addition, she masturbated to images of men. And images of men and women having: “[...] some adolescent, groping version of sex [...]” 

16-Year-old Wendy C. Ortiz (1989) |
Souce: @WendyCOrtiz/Twitter

And in another confession straight out of My Secret Garden, Wendy confessed that, before she turned 13, her hobby was “making out with girls” - in her bedroom closet. 

Futhermore, before Wendy even met Mr. Ivers, she said that on her first day at Oakcrest Junior High, her first “intrigue” was “male teachers”. Her second intrigue? The 9th grade nymphets who looked like seniors with: “[...] haughty expressions on heavily lipsticked and rouged faces.”

Consequently, during class, among other “fantasies”, Wendy had a “secret impulse” to remove Mr. Ivers’ tie. Wendy’s impulses continued after school where she let her: “[...] eyes glance over the front of his sweats, wondering about the state of his penis, trying to imagine exactly what it looked like [...]” 

And Wendy desired to stand close enough to her teacher: “[...] close enough to hook up with the energy flow, the unspoken promise of sex [...]”, which they had for about six years that was peppered with Wendy face down on her carpet rubbing herself to a “[...] soaring, bitter climax.” 

Like a report straight out of a Daily Mail piece, while Wendy’s mother was working, Mr. Ivers would come to Wendy's place in North Hollywood. On “most Saturdays”, Wendy would take the bus to her teacher’s place in Pasadena. And sometimes Mr. Ivers would pick up Wendy, clad in her Catholic schoolgirl uniform, for a rendezvous in his green Porsche where she eventually had her first non-autoerotic orgasm. [Note: They stopped using condoms after Wendy turned 16.]

16-Year-old Wendy C. Ortiz (1989) | 
Souce: @WendyCOrtiz/Twitter

Mr. Ivers even had girlfriends during the affair: “His girlfriend, me, him: a sick triangle that she wasn’t completely aware of.” The “completely” is in reference to the fact that Wendy often met Mr. Ivers’ girlfriends. And 14-year-old Wendy had a boyfriend too - 17-year-old Nicholas. They had teen sex “often without condoms” and often outdoors (e.g., “[...] late night trysts in public parks, or cars [....] anywhere my clothes might find a temporary place to land [...]”)

Like with every age-gap memoir we’ve recapped, Excavation has only one, but consequential, (seeming) contradiction. After writing, in terms of student-teacher affairs, that she “[...] gets it. Like viscerally” and after she re-confessed her own student-teacher fantasies that were “fueled” by her teacher, of whom she wrote: “[...] the hold, the power I have over this person [...]”,  Wendy went on to puzzlingly imply that she would not have had a six-year affair with her teacher if it weren’t for the “tragic power dynamic”. But in the chapter “WHY I DIDN’T TELL”, she listed “I wanted power” among the reasons for not exposing her affair with her teacher. 

I didn’t want to be average.
I didn’t want it to end.
I wanted sex. 
I wanted to be the focal point of someone’s world.
I wanted power.
I wanted love. 

In the end, the student-teacher affair ended amiably.

“I love you.” [Mr. Ivers said.]
“I love you,” I [Wendy] repeated back. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Famous Age-Gap Couple: Demi Lovato (17) & Wilmer Valderrama (29) | Teen Love at First Sight

Deirdre Simonds reported for the Daily Mail that: "[...] Demi Lovato shades ex Wilmer Valderrama over their 12-year age gap - and fact she was only 17 when they started dating [...] "

In the song, which is on Lovato's Holy Fvck, she reminds the listener that Valderrama was 29 and she was, thereby, 17 when their age-gap affair, "teenage dream", and "fantasy" began.

'Finally 29 / Funny, just like you were you at the time / Thought it was a teenage dream / Just a fantasy / But was it yours or was it mine?' 

Subsequent lyrics raises some questions. For example, is Lovato implying that she was "Far from innocent" or Valderrama? And by asking "what the f**k's consent?", is she implying that her age-gap relationship with Valderrama was not consensual? But she did make it clear that Valderrama was not able to resist the allure of a nymphet.

'Just five years of bleeders, student and a teacher / Far from innocent / what the f**k's consent? / Numbers told you not to / but that didn't stop you' 

Wilmer Valderrama (29) & Demi Lovato (18) | 2011

However, in Lovato's documentary Simply Complicated that premiered approximately five years ago in 2017, she shared that after seeing 29-year-old Valderrama for the first time, she confessed, "I love this man [...] I have to have him!". 

“[When] I laid eyes on him for the first time, I was in hair and makeup and he came in and sat down and I was like ‘I love this man’ and ‘I have to have him.'” 

And in the lyrics of the song (Numbers told you not to / but that didn't stop you'), Lovato implied that Valderrama did not wait until she turned 18, but in the documentary, she related that he did wait.

“But I was only 17, so he was like, ‘Get away from me.’

“After I turned 18, we began dating,” she continued. “I think it was love at first sight, and I don’t really believe in that, but I believe that it happened.”

Despite Lovato's seeming contradictions, which are seemingly found in most age-gap memoirs, the famous age-gap relationship lasted six years. #confused

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Karen of MEAN GIRLS (2004): "My [Teen] Breasts Can Always Tell When It's Gonna Rain."

Jake Viswanath posted on Bustle "Amanda Seyfried Reflects On Mean Girls & 'Gross' Remarks That Men Made After It" (May 11, 2022)

In Mean Girls (2004), Seyfried played Karen Smith, a 16-year-old North Shore High student, who could tell when it was raining due to a feeling in her fountains

While squeezing her breasts, Karen Smith shared, "My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain." Consequently, Karen was given the role of the school's weatherwoman and reported, "Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees." And as she massaged her right and then left breast, she reported, "And there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining."

But Viswanath wrote that Seyfried said that some fans took the joke that Tina Fey wrote "too far in real life":

Karen Smith from Mean Girls is a bonafide meteorologist icon, but sometimes, fans took the joke too far in real life. Amanda Seyfried, who played Karen, just revealed how male fans would often ask her if it was raining after the premiere of Mean Girls in 2004 [...] Fans’ references to the joke often crossed a line into catcalling, especially given Seyfried’s age at the time. “I always felt really grossed out by that,” Seyfried told Marie Claire in an interview published on May 11. “I was like 18 years old. It was just gross.”

We agree with Seyfried that catcalling is inappropriate, but we were surprised that she mentioned that she was 18 when the catcalling occured. Is she implying that if she were 21, the catcalling would have been (more) appropriate? We're very confident that Seyfried would agree that being catcalled at any age is inappropriate. But that still begs the question: "Why did Seyfried mention that she was 18 when the catcalling occured? #confused However, it appears that it's safe to assume that Seyfried does not condone teen sex work. (e.g., 18-year-old Sami, Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen's daughter, joining OnlyFans.")

And to add to our confusion, Seyfried had nothing but nice words to say about Mark Waters, whom directed Seyfried to massage her teen breasts, and Tina Fey, whom wrote Seyfried's lascivious lines. Seyfried said that Waters made her "look good" and that Fey "[...] wrote the coolest script of all time."

Despite the gross comments she received, Seyfried has only positive memories from filming Mean Girls, the movie that put her on the map, even calling it her “best work” in 2013 [...] it was written so well and so wonderfully directed. Mark Waters (the director) made me look good, he made me funny. And Tina Fey wrote the coolest script of all time. I’m so grateful for every experience.”

The irony. And there were a number of other lascivious lines, scenes and subplots in the film, which we'll compile in a separate post. For example, Karen shared: "I can put my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?" But the most relevant subplot to this blog is the love triangle between coach Carr and two Asian schoolgirls - Trang Pak and Sun Jin Dinh whom fought over coach Carr in the hallway of North Shore High.