SNL & Pocahontas: A (Pre)Teen and Two Johns

John Rolfe and Pocahontas

Here's Pop Culture's plot summary of SNL's "First Thanksgiving": 

A controversial Saturday Night Live skit on this weekend's show [11-23-19] ended with a kind of apology from host Will Ferrell, but fans were still upset by it. The sketch in question showed Ferrell, Melissa Villaseñor, Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen playing Native Americans. If that were not enough, the skit was about politics at Thanksgiving.

The skit was called "First Thanksgiving," and it was set in the 1600s. Villaseñor played Pocahontas, while Beck Bennett played John Smith — with a subtle nod to the fact that these real historical figures were about 12 and 30 years old respectively.

Here's the relevant dialogue from the skit:

(Fred Armisen): "So, John. Pocahontas tells us you're turning 30 soon."

John Smith: "Yup. Yeah. [In a] couple weeks."

(Maya Rudolp): "And you do know she's 12 - right?"

John Smith: "Yeah. I do. I do."

In a letter to Queen Anne of Great Britain, John Smith described Pocahontas as "a child of twelve or thirteen years of age". The skit gives one the impression that John Smith is attempting to marry Pocahontas, but the relationship between John Smith and Pocahontas was platonic.  

However, in 1614, (approximately) 17-year-old Pocahontas married John Rolfe - an approximately 30-year-old tobacco exporter.

Surprisingly, no one seemed to have a problem with John Smith courting a 12-year-old, but unsurprisingly, a lot of people seemed to have a problem with whites playing native Americans. 

DICKINSON: Teen Lipstick Lesbians, Twerking Nymphets & an Age-Gap Affair

Here's the plot summary for Dickinson that's posted on Apple TV+: Hailee Steinfeld stars as Emily Dickinson. Poet. Daughter. Total rebel. In this coming-of-age story, Emily's determined to become the world's greatest poet. | 15+ Brilliant teen series is destined for immortality. 

To be become the world's greatest poet isn't the only thing Emily wants. For example, Emily wants to maintain a teen lipstick lesbian affair with her brother's fiancé and an affair with Benjamin Newton, her father's law clerk. And Emily enjoyed opium, which led to a house party with twerking nymphets. 

Dickinson is based on the life of Emily Dickinson. Per Emily Nussbaum's New Yorker review, Dickinson's affair with her future sister-in-law "[...] is backed up by recent Dickinson scholarship [...]" And we related in The Allure of Nymphets from the Secret Lives of Great Authors, that Emily Dickinson purportedly had a much older secretive “Master”. It is not clear whom the older lover was, but it was between a Reverend, a newspaper editor, and a professor.

Intrigued, we took the subway to Times Square to take a picture of the Dickinson billboard advertisement in Times Square. 

Lastly, Linda Maleh in her Forbes review of the teen show opined: "An Absurdist Tragicomedy, ‘Dickinson’ Is The Best Thing On Apple TV+"

NEW YORK & PEOPLE: Brooke Shields | Nude Pre-Teen Stirs Porn Furor

Brooke Shields' New York and People Covers

Sally Field: Teen Empowered by Sexually Abusive Yet Magical Step-Father

Sally Field: Approximately 12-Years-Old

Sally Field shared in her memoir, In Pieces, that her stepfather sexually abused her until she turned 14. 

Interestingly, Field shared that her step-father "could be magical" and that when he summoned her to his bedroom that made her feel "Power. This was power." 

Here's an excerpt from Dave Itzkoff's New York Times review of the memoir:

After Margaret Field filed for divorce from Sally’s father, Richard, in 1951, she got remarried in 1952 to Jock Mahoney, a stuntman and actor (“Tarzan Goes to India”) known by the nickname Jocko.

As Sally Field writes of Mr. Mahoney in her memoir, “It would have been so much easier if I’d only felt one thing, if Jocko had been nothing but cruel and frightening. But he wasn’t. He could be magical, the Pied Piper with our family as his entranced followers.”

He also frequently summoned Ms. Field to his bedroom alone. “I knew,” Ms. Field writes. “I felt both a child, helpless, and not a child. Powerful. This was power. And I owned it. But I wanted to be a child — and yet.” Ms. Field said her stepfather’s abuse of her stopped after she turned 14. Her mother divorced Mr. Mahoney in 1968, and he died in 1989.

Jock Mahoney, Sally's stepfather, with Sally's Mother (1955)

Paul Gauguin: "An Artist Who Had Sex With Teenage Girls"

Farah Nayeri wrote in the New York Times Arts section article (November 18, 2019) "Is It Time Gauguin Got Canceled?: Museums are reassessing the legacy of an artist who had sex with teenage girls and called the Polynesian people he painted “savages.”":

“Is it time to stop looking at [Paul] Gauguin altogether?”

That’s the startling question visitors hear on the audio guide as they walk through the “Gauguin Portraits” exhibition at the National Gallery in London. The show, which runs through Jan. 26, [2019] focuses on Paul Gauguin’s depictions of himself, his friends and fellow artists, and of the children he fathered and the young girls he lived with in Tahiti.

The standout portrait in the exhibition is “Tehamana Has Many Parents” (1893). It pictures Gauguin’s teenage lover, holding a fan.

The artist “repeatedly entered into sexual relations with young girls, ‘marrying’ two of them and fathering children,” reads the wall text. “Gauguin undoubtedly exploited his position as a privileged Westerner to make the most of the sexual freedoms available to him.”

Born in Paris [...] He took up painting in his 20s, while working as a stockbroker, a profession he would soon give up — along with his wife and children — to make art full time. He set sail for Tahiti in 1891 [...] Gauguin spent most of the 12 remaining years of his life in Tahiti and on the French Polynesian island of Hiva Oa, cohabiting with adolescent girls, fathering more children, and producing his best-known paintings.

[Unsurprisingly] [i]n the international museum world, Gauguin is a box-office hit. There have been a half-dozen exhibitions of his work in the last few years alone, including important shows in Paris, Chicago and San Francisco.

Nine labels were changed to avoid culturally insensitive language, according to the museum’s press office [...] [For example] his “relationship with a young Tahitian woman” was changed to “his relationship with a 13- or 14-year-old Tahitian girl.”

[...] out of 2,313 feedback cards submitted by visitors at the Canadian exhibition, [only] about 50 were complaints about Gauguin and about the museum programming.

Xuzzle: Why Do Many Young Women Prefer Older Men?

Jennifer posted "Why do many young women prefer older men?" on Xuzzle (October 21, 2019) and related that for the longest time, age-gap relationships were restricted to celebrities but that Stafania G. has an (unnamed) website that connects non-celebrity age-gap couples.

Jennifer: Why do you think younger women are attracted to older men?

Stafania G.: I need one word to answer this questions: security. Older men have an aura of experience, they know what they want and they have the right amount of dominance that some younger women are looking for. Young women can really explore their womanhood for the first time with older men. Thereby, they might feel much more comfortable and less insecure. On the other hand, mature men can get back some of their youth and feel like the protector.

BIG MOUTH Season 2 | Missy: "A Filthy Little [Pre-Teen] Masturbator"

Season 2 of Big Mouth continues the series' "edgy" motifs where season 1 left off. 

Here are some of the raunchy lines that were spoken among the middle schoolers:

"Is it that you're 46 and she's 13?"

"Your older brothers make you eat cum crackers."

"My mom says that's how I get my nutrients."

"I'm gonna make this little boy's dick so hard!"

"She put a finger in your ass?"

"She's a horny spazz. You should jazz on her."

"Jazz?"

"Jizz on a spazz. Jazz."

"She's opening her mouth. Put your wiener in."

We'll highlight two motifs from season two: middle school masturbation and an incestuous age-gap relationship.

On episode 8 of season 2, Missy Foreman-Greenwald has a romantic dream about Mr. Fillion, a married man, which causes her to discover the joys of masturbating by using her favorite doll - Mr. Wiggles.

Subsequently, during a sleepover to see the lunar eclipse at Bridgeton Middle School, Missy is caught masturbating with Mr. Wiggles, which causes a classmate to refer to Missy as a "horny spazz". Subsequently, Missy is accused of killing Mr. Wiggles, who was, per The Shame Wizard, "Humped to death by a filthy little masturbator."

The Jansen Twins

And on episode 9 of season 2, Danke, of The Jansen Twins, shared that kissing Nick is, "[...] like for me to kiss my uncle [Bram]." And The Jansen Twins implied that uncle Bram pays them to masturbate.

Interestingly, season 2 of Big Mouth got a whopping 100% critics rating and an above average  81% user rating.

Teen Suicide Over "Older Man"

Snejana Farberov reported for the Daily Mail [16 October 2019] that 15-year-old Leticia Serrano, a high-achieving student at Marshall Middle School, committed suicide, because she wasn't allowed to reunite with an "older man".

The "older man" allegedly drugged the nymphet, pulled her into a sex trafficking ring when she was 13-years-old, and got her addicted to drugs - all within three days. 

Mariano Serrano, the nymphet's father, believes that his daughter could not bear to be apart from the older man. Serrano shared, "She wanted to be with him,' he said. 'But she also didn't want to hurt her family."

One could infer that the nymphet and the "older man" were having an affair prior to the alleged drugging and abduction, because it's inconceivable that Leticia would have desired to commit suicide over not being able to reunite with someone she only spent three days with, but it is conceivable that a high-achieving nymphet would have an age-gap affair, because based on our research, in fiction and non-fiction, high-achieving coeds are often uninhibited when it comes to acting on their attraction to older men. 

Flavio Briatore (69): From Naomi Campbell & Heidi Klum to Benedetta Bosi (20)

Flavio Briatore (69)  & Benedetta Bosi (20)

We indirectly learned about Flavio Briatore, an infamous Italian businessman, via the Who? Weekly podcast that directed us to the Crazy Days and Nights blog, which posted that there is a connection between Briatore, Heidi Klum and Jeffrey Epstein. 

One of the connections between Briatore and Epstein is that Briatore's name is circled in Epstein's black book. And a Google search revealed that the Daily Mail reported that while Briatore was engaged to former supermodel Naomi Campbell,  Briatore and Campbell were photographed with Virginia Roberts - one of Epstein's alleged teen sex slaves.

Briatore, Campbell & Virginia Roberts

Soon after Briatore and Campbell separated in 2003, Briatore impregnated former supermodel Heidi Klum. And most recently, 69-year-old Briatore was connected to 20-year-old Benedetta Bosi. 

On November 06, 2019, TGCom 24 reported that Chi, an Italian tabloid, published pictures of Briatore and Bosi vacationing in Malindi. 

When someone asked Bosi on Instagram: "Come puoi stare con uno che potrebbe esserti nonno?" [How can you be with someone who could be your grandfather?]

Bosi replied: "I'intellegenza non invecchia mai" [Intelligence never gets old"]

Celebrity Age-Gap Couples: Dennis Quaid (65) & Laura Savoie (26) | David Foster (70) & Katherine Foster (35)

We typically profile nymphets, but we cover celebrity age-gap couples even if the young woman isn't a nymphet. Coincidentally, while we were recently perusing the Daily Mail app, we came upon not one but two celebrity age-gap couples.

Justin Enriquez and Annita Katee reported that 65-year-old Dennis Quaid, the star of the new Netflix sitcom Merry Happy Whatever, shared that he will marry 26-year-old Laura Savoie. 

Enriquez and Katee wrote: "The bride-to-be hails from St. Louis, Missouri, and is expected to graduate with her PhD from the University of Texas in Austin in 2021. "

And Bobbie Whiteman reported for the the Daily Mail that 35-year-old Katherine Foster, of American Idol fame, recently celebrated the 70th birthday of her husband, the prodigious music producer David Foster, in Mexico.

Whiteman wrote that Katherine shared on her Instagram that she actually met Foster when she was 22.

David Foster (70) &  Katherine Foster (35)