Sunday, August 27, 2023

AND JUST LIKE THAT: Prestige Streaming Teen Sex

On "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" (s01e08) of And Just Like That, the Sex and the City reboot, Charlotte discovered that Lily, her 16-year-old adopted daughter, had a Finsta (i.e. a "private" Instagram account) where Lily posted selfies under the username hililyhilow in what Lily described as "workout wear" (e.g. a hot pink spandex crop top and a blue spandex bottom), which reminded me of Mare of Mare of Easttown whom said, "Trust me. Teenage girls are fucking sneaky."

Lily's "Sexy" Workout Wear Finsta Selfie

Unsurprisingly, Charlotte said that Lily's workout wear selfie was "sexy" and that Lily had a "look" in her eye. colin55 agreed with Charlotte and posted that Lily was "hawwwwwwwt"; consequently, Charlotte wanted to know if Lily was a teleiophile and if Colin was 55-years-old.

Charlotte, "What is this?"
Lily, "It's workout wear."
Charlotte, "Sexy workout wear. And what is this look in your eye? And who is colin55? And is 55 his age?"

In another bit of foreshadowing, on "No Strings Attached" (s01e09), Lily decided that she wanted to learn how to use a tampon. After Charlotte reminded Rose, "[...] there's really only one hole that it can go into." Charlotte demanded that Lily, "Just stick it in! Jam it up there Lily! Just do it!" Ultimately, after a number of unsuccessful attempts, Lily exclaimed, "It's in!"

Mare of Mare of Easttown

Based on Lily's private and public behavior, Mare would not be surprised to learn that on "Bomb Cyclone" (s02e06), 17-year-old Lily proclaimed “I’m ready to lose my virginity."

Lily, “Hey, mom. Did you call that person at Nobu to make the lunch res for me and Blake at 1?”
Charlotte, “Oh no, with all the Polo excitement I forgot. I’ll do it in a minute.”
Lily, “It’s almost 11. We’ll never get in now.”
Anthony, “Booho. You’re 17-years-old. Go to Shake Shack and call it a day.”
Lily, “I can’t lose my virginity after a lunch at Shake Shack.”
Charlotte, “Excuse me.”
Lily, “I’m ready to lose my virginity. And now it won’t be the perfect day that I had planned. “

However, Mare may be surprised to learn that Charlotte made a complete 180 on her view of Lily's sexuality. Not only did Charlotte suggest that Lily use a condom, which sly Lily had been familiar with since the 5th grade, but Charlotte suggested that Lily focus on her (teen) sexual pleasure.

Charlotte, “Condoms obviously.”
Lily, “I’ve been hearing about condoms since the 5th grade. We’re on it.”
Charlotte, “And Lily I just really want you to focus on your pleasure just as much as his pleasure. It is important that you take care of you own needs.”

With Blake's parents in Connecticut, but sans préservatifs, Lily and Blake decided to use the "pull out" method.

Lily, "Blake doesn't have any condoms." "Would you go [and purchase some condoms] for us?"
Charlotte, "I am not about to got out in the middle of a blizzard to get you guys condoms."
Lily, "Okay, okay, Never mind. Blake Googled "how to pull out". We can just try that."

Consequently, with the thought of preventing a teen pregnancy but with the thought of insuring Lily's pleasure, Charlotte hiked through the blizzard to deliver Lily and Blake an assorted pack of condoms, which included: classic, thin, ribbed, and warming condoms. However, Charlotte suggested that Lily avoid the warming one.

Lily, "Mom. Thank you so much."
Charlotte, "Yes. Okay, I got you the assorted pack. There is classic, thin, ribbed. I would avoid using the warming one 'cause you get a rash easily down there. Remember?"
Lily, "Thank you!"

In “February 14th” (s02e07), Kara brought “way too many” edible brownies to Lily’s get together; thus, it’s safe to infer that Lily consumed edibles; however, it’s not clear if Lily started ingesting edibles before or after she starting having teen sex. And it’s not clear if Charlotte condoned Lily’s edibles intake, but Harry, Charlotte’s husband, said in reference to Lily and the edible brownies, “I’m gonna kill our oldest [...]”

Lily: The Morning After (Max)

Unsurprisingly, 17-year-old Lily didn’t only have sex with Blake, because we learned in “There Goes the Neighborhood” (s02e09), that, seemingly only days after losing her virginity to Blake, Lily spent the night with *19-year-old Brady. 

Mare would not be surprised to learn that Lily texted Charlotte that: “[...] she was sleeping on the couch,” but Miranda, Brady’s mother, caught Lily coming out of Brady’s bedroom the next morning. And, “She wasn’t wearing pants.”

Miranda, “I’m fairly certain they hooked up.” “[T]here was no sign of couch-sleeping, and Lily was coming out of Brady’s bedroom.” “She wasn’t wearing pants.”
Charlotte, “Exactly what look did she have on her face?”
Miranda, “The look of a teenager who’s just been caught having sex.”

Initially, Charlotte was dismayed by the news that Lily and Brady had sex, but not because of the teen sex, but because Charlotte said that Lily and Brady were “like cousins”.

In the end, Charlotte had to admit that Lily and Brady, “[...] would have the most beautiful red-headed Chinese-Jewish babies!” Yet, it wasn’t clear if Lily was still having sex with Blake.

[*We know from Anthony, “Booho. You’re 17-years-old. Go to Shake Shack and call it a day,”(s02e06), that Lily is 17, and we know from Lily (s02e09), that Brady is 19, because, Lily told Charlotte, “We [Brady and I] haven’t hung out since [...] I was, like, 12, and he was 14.” However, as Redditors pointed out, this is a continuity error, because Brady was “born” in 2002, which would make him over 20.]

Naturally, Brady wasn’t a virgin when he had sex with Lily. Minutes into “Hello It’s Me” (s01e01), Miranda (over) shared with Charlotte and Carrie:

“I stepped on a used condom in Brady’s room this morning.”
“I was barefoot at the time.”
“Did you hear what I said? I stepped on my son’s semen before coffee.”

Just like a parent right out of Restless Virgins, Charlotte confessed that she condoned Luisa, Brady’s girlfriend, spending the night. Consequently, the next episode, “Little Black Dress” (s01e02), opened with a wild teen sex scene.

Luisa, “Brady!”
Brady, “Yeah, ride me, cowboy!”

Satisfied with the cowgirl position, the teens switched to the missionary position, which caused Brady’s headboard to repeatedly bang against his parent’s wall; ergo, Miranda turned up the volume on the smart TV.

Brady, Blake, Lily and Luisa weren’t the only teens having sex on And Just Like That. On “February 14th” (s02e07), Lisa spotted her son, Herbert Jr., making out with Baxter, his girlfriend, in the prep school’s school yard. 

After Herbert Jr. and Baxter started kissing and Baxter put her thumb down Herbert Jr’s pants with her fingers near his penis, Lisa told Charlotte, “Oh, hell no. It’s a schoolyard, and it’s 3:30!” After Lisa confronted the teens and informed them that there were “scouts from Harvard” on campus, Baxter sheepishly took her thumb out of Herbert Jr’s pants.

Later in the stream, Herbert Jr. had good news for his parents. Just like a parent out of Restless Virgins, Baxter’s parents booked a suite at the Mandarin Oriental on Valentine’s Day for the libidinous teens.

“Mom and dad. Good news […] Baxter’s mom and dad got us a suite at the Mandarin Oriental for Valentine’s Day.”

But unlike the nymphet’s parents, Herbert Sr. and Lisa did not condone the sex suite; however, Herbert offered, “Why don’t you hang here? You’ll have the place to yourselves […]”

Herbert Jr. replied, “Fine,” and left the room, but Lisa informed her husband, “[…] you forgot to tell him that it’s okay to fuck in our bed. ‘Cause that’s happening. This girl has no boundaries.”

But Herbert Sr. reassured his wife that the teens would not “fuck in our bed”, because they’re going have teen sex in Jr’s bed. Herbert Sr. comforted, “They are not gonna have sex in our bed. His? Definitely. But not ours.”

Lastly, And Just Like That has been renewed for a third season, and per Max's head of original programming, the series is: "[...] the #1 Max Original overall, and is the most watched returning Max Original to date [...]"

Monday, August 21, 2023

Lisa Taddeo’s THREE WOMEN: A North Dakota Student-Teacher Sexual Affair


Here’s part of Amazon’s synopsis for Lisa Taddeo’s (non-fiction) book Three Women:

In North Dakota we meet Maggie, a seventeen-year-old high school student who allegedly has a clandestine physical relationship with [Mr. Aaron Knodel] her handsome, married English teacher; the ensuing criminal trial will turn their quiet community upside down. 

Based on years of immersive reporting and told with astonishing frankness and immediacy, Three Women is both a feat of journalism and a triumph of storytelling, brimming with nuance and empathy.

As the other two women, Lina and Sloane, may not be relevant for our purposes, we’ll naturally focus on Maggie’s story. 

(Note: In the author’s note, Taddeo reiterated that the book, which she described as “a book about human desire”,  is a work of fiction that took her eight years to complete while spending “thousands of hours” with the Three Women. In addition, Taddeo referenced: “[...] court documents and local news articles and [she] spoke to reporters, judges, attorneys, investigators, colleagues, and acquaintances to confirm events and timelines.”

In the prologue, Taddeo provided an introduction to Maggie's story where we learned that Maggie was being called a “whore and fat cunt” due to her: “[...] alleged relationship with her married high school teacher.” 

Interestingly, unlike the women who called Maggie a “whore and fat cunt”, but like Betsy Karasik and Petronella Wyatt, Taddeo appeared to condone the student-teacher relationship. Taddeo wrote:

[T]o experience such a relationship, and then have it abruptly end: I could easily imagine the gaping hole that would leave. 

And Taddeo wrote that Maggie’s: “[...] sexuality and sexual experiences were being denied in a horrific way.” Therefore, Taddeo decided to write the “narrative as seen through” Maggie’s eyes - not the version of the story the prosecutors put: “[...] before a jury who saw it differently.”

Interestingly, to the dismay of feminists, Maggie shared with Taddeo that she possessed: “A certain power, dictated by her age [i.e. the fact that she was a schoolgirl] and her former lover’s occupation.” 

Maggie’s chapter opened with the revelation that, although it’s been six years since their age-gap affair, Maggie’s still attracted to her (former) teacher. So much so that 23-year-old Maggie primped for court. For example, “A neutral, smokey eye. A heavy lash.” and “[...] leggings, and a sheer kimono top.” with the hope that her (former) teacher still wanted her and that Mr. Knodel would “[...] lament what he lost.” 

As a matter of fact, it’s implied that one of the reasons Maggie went to the police was to force Mr. Knodel to show his face to her again. 

You might even say one of the reasons you went to the police was to get him to show his face again. Because most people will agree - when a lover shuts down, refuses to meet you [...] it’s as though someone is freezing your organs. For six years, he stayed away. But he will come today, and he will come also to the trial, so in a way, it can be said that one of the reasons you’re doing this is because it means you’ll see him about six more times. This is an outlandish notion only if you don’t know how a person can destroy you by the simple act of disappearing.

Since the age-gap affair ended, Maggie had been “self-loathing” and “wallowing in otherworldly dread” but hoping that Mr. Knodel had been feeling the same way and hoping that the only reason he had chosen to “remain unhappy, without” her was due to his children - not his wife. 

In the courtroom, Maggie desired to hold her (former) teacher’s face and say: 

“Oh fuck I’m sorry for betraying you. I was terrifically angry [...] Look at me. I put this war paint on, but underneath I’m scarred and scared and horny and tired and love you.”

Unlike My Dark Vanessa’s Vanessa who had to be convinced that she was a victim in her student-teacher affair, Maggie admitted that she was not a victim but that she had: “[...] fully personified my victim costume.” 

Unsurprisingly, Maggie wasn’t the only schoolgirl attracted to Mr. Knodel whom was described as “hot”, “charming”, “the catch” and exciting. Taddeo wrote of Maggie:

She had only heard about him. Some of the girls were talking about how hot he was. Slick black hair with a little front wing, like it had been gelled into permanent place. Charming, dark eyes. The kind of teacher who makes you want to come to school even in cold North Dakota mornings. His name, in the hallways, had become the kind of name one whispers, because of how much excitement it conjured.

Oahu, Hawaii

And unsurprisingly, Mr. Knodel wasn’t Maggie’s only age-gap affair. Intriguingly, Dane, Maggie’s brother-in-law, purchased a plane ticket from North Dakota for Maggie to visit him and Melia, Maggie’s sister, in Oahu, Hawaii. One night, while Melia was home with her baby, Dane took: “[...] Maggie out with his friends.” Subsequently, the two attended a toga party where 16-year-old Maggie met 31-year-old married Mateo: “[...] originally from Cuba, broad-shouldered, charming.”

For some reason: “Melia and Dane don’t think it strange when, a couple of nights later, Mateo shows up at their place [...] to take Maggie out for dinner.”

Melia and Dane weren’t stressed and Maggie was impressed by Mateo’s dinner invitation to Appleebee’s, which they drove to in Mateo’s “man’s car”. Mateo looked “super nice”, unlike the boys back home, Mateo lit her cigarette, he opened the car door for her, and he cared that she was satiated. Maggie was: “[...] in Hawaii with a man, on a proper date.” After dinner, the age-gap couple went for a walk on the beach where Mateo informed Maggie, “I want to kiss you.” 

Mateo, who was: “[...] unlike a high school boy, [and] he wasn’t ashamed of his desire”, subsequently took Maggie, with her: “[...] long, wild hair. Her strong thighs and her soft breasts”, to his motorcycle club’s meet-up in verdant hills where they had potluck breakfast before going for a ride. Naturally, Maggie was the only nymphet present, and she felt “gloriously” out of place. After holding onto Mateo’s back for hours, they arrived at Mateo’s place where, despite being a virgin, Maggie “[...] wants it more than he does.” Consequently: “Maggie lies down on the bed first. They fuck for twenty minutes.” “After it’s over he doesn’t take her home right away. They lie in his bed and talk for a long time.”

Days later, naively: “[...] Melia drops Maggie off at Mateo’s house for a bonfire.”

Melia asks, What time should I pick you up? Maggie says she wants to stay over. I will sleep on the couch, Mateo tells Melia. Later, in bed, Maggie doesn't intend it, but the words fly out of her mouth. 

I think I love, she says. 

Shortly thereafter, the age-gap affair ended after Mateo and Maggie were seen kissing: “[...] at a barbecue and Dan and Melia’s house.” (The age of consent in Hawaii is 16, but it's 18 in North Dakota.) 

Back in North Dakota, via a letter that she passed to him after class, Maggie confided in Mr. Knodel about her age-gap affair with Mateo:

To just say, Hey, I had sex with this guy in Hawaii and it was fun and the ocean was fantastic [...] and I felt sex and pretty and like myself.”

After returning home, Maggie tells other schoolgirls about Mateo and: [...] she longs for the man to whom she lost her virginity.” 


David Beckham

Maggie matriculated into Mr. Knodel’s English class at the beginning of the second semester of her freshman year while: “Maggie is in love with David Beckham.” (Note: No word on how Beckham [parasocially] groomed Maggie.) Consequently, Maggie and Mr. Knodel talked after class when he would look into her eyes and listen: “[...] like a good teacher.” Maggie would: “[...] linger after class, or he would ask her a question when she was on her way out the door.” For example:

He might say, Hey, everything okay at home? And Maggie would hang back and tell him whatever was new. He was a good teacher, and he cared. Sometimes there’s nothing better on earth than someone asking you a question. 

By her junior year, Maggie and Mr. Knodel had “become close” and during her senior year Christmas break, they communicated, “[...] into the late evening [...]”, while Maggie visited family in Colorado. “Her head gets light from the excitement of it [i.e. the text messages from her teacher]”

He writes, I’m a teacher and you’re a student, and we shouldn’t be talking like this. 

And she is like, Okay.

But she feels, already, his hands down her pants.

Since Maggie’s freshman year, “something” had been “building” between her and Mr. Knodel - “[...] a steady accumulation.” A (teacher) crush.

Like any young girl who has a crush on someone older, she doesn’t know what she wants to happen. She doesn’t know if she wants sex or no sex or to undress in her room while he watches from the sidewalk. Mostly she just wants a small suggestion of excitement. An anonymous bouquet on a doorstep. 

Maggie entered Mr. Knodel’s speech and debate class on the first day after Christmas break, and they look at eat other perfectly: 

She finds her seat and then she looks at him, and it’s perfect.

The way he looks at her is absolutely perfect.

He has this way of normalizing a situation while also acknowledging the spark. 

Although they met during Maggies’s freshman year, their first student-teacher date was at Barnes & Noble during her senior year. “It’s a really easy place to bump into each other without looking conspicuous.” Before entering the bookstore, Maggie reapplied her lip gloss while feeling important due to the “illicit” nature of the rendezvous. “She knows she has to be a child and a woman all at once [...]”

One of the reasons Maggie was attracted to her teacher was due to his power, but not the power he had over her as a teacher, but the power he had over himself (e.g. his emotions).

That he can keep other information in his brain beyond the Ahhhh of lovecrush he is already and forever the alpha of their arrangement. [...] he has brain space for reading books and raising children and interacting with employees in big box stores. That, she decides, is power.”

(That is a concept that feminists and teen boys deny. If a man possesses the characteristics of charisma such as possessing a high level of self-esteem, a high level of self-confidence, and he’s powerful (i.e. he possesses a high level of self-control), he’s going to be attractive - regardless of his age.)

After purchasing a copy of Freakonomics, Maggie goes for a ride in her teacher’s car where she comes to the realization that: “He’s top shelf. Being with him, she feels her own stock rise.” Consequently: “She would have eaten a roach to be able to hold his hand.” Subsequently: “The best part of her whole life happens next. He slows to a stop on a quiet street [...] and just looks at her [...] and she feels like a supermodel.”

As the date ends: “Maggie wants to cry [...] She’s hoping he will kiss her. It’s all she wants. She can’t remember a time when she ever wanted anything else.”

In terms of Marie, Mr. Knodel’s wife, Maggie is unbothered. “Maggie is the sun, Aaron is the moon, and Marie is Saturn, ever orbiting, ever home, ever watching.”

The student and teacher texted all day and talked all night - “[...] after the kids and Marie are in bed [...]”, but Maggie was prohibited from sending the first text, which Maggie conformed to because she wanted: “[...] to do everything to preserve the relationship,” and their “forbidden love”.

One night Mr. Knodel texted: “I think I am falling in love with you.” Maggie replied: “I want to tell you how I feel in person.” The next day, with his wife out of town, Maggie’s teacher invited her to his house - “[...] after the boys are in bed.”

Thirty minutes into Dan in Real Life (2007), the student and teacher kissed. 

Finally, she thinks, his mouth! She can’t believe it. Her heart pounds, her hands shake. His mouth! And just like that, she is inside it. 

I love you, she says.

He smiles and says, I love you, too.

Subsequently, they moved to a spare bedroom where Mr. Knodel slid two fingers into his student and performed oral sex on her, “Oh, Aaron! she says. She doesn’t moan too loud, because she is aware of his children upstairs.”  Consequently, Maggie had her first (non-mastabatory) orgasm. “He is the first man ever to do this, though two and half men came before him. He smiles proudly, emerging from between her thighs.”

Due to his wife not having any future trips planned, Mr. Knodel, “quietly”, set up a classroom lunch date with Maggie where they kissed: “[...] at the table by the cupboards.” Mr. Knodel placed his student’s young hand on his penis and said, “Feel how hard you make me.” 

On subsequent lunch dates, they only kissed, but during a pre-school rendezvous, Mr. Knodel “lightly” kissed Maggie’s neck, and he fingered the young blond while he: “[...] simultaneously grind[ed] himself against her backside. She casts her head back and moans. For seven minutes this goes on and she feels she might come at any moment. Then someone wiggles the knob of the [locked] door.” 

One night, Maggie retrieved her teacher from a TGI Friday’s. As Maggie drove her mother’s Taurus, Maggie’s teacher kissed her and put his hand down her pants. “She nearly clips a parked car.”

“Over the next month”, Maggie learned that Mr. Knodel wanted to eventually leave his wife, but in the meantime and despite their age-gap love for each other, Maggie must: “[...] immediately delete all texts. There were thousands by this time.” And Mr. Knodel gave Maggie his wife’s phone number: “[...] to program it into her phone so that she would never, ever [...] answer if that number showed up on her screen.”

Shortly before Valentine’s Day, Maggie gave Mr. Knodel her copy of Twilight. Taddeo wrote that Maggie was “moved” and “exalted” by the voluminous, detailed and self-scented Post-it notes that her teacher placed in Twilight

“She could hardly believe that the teacher she so deeply admired had read the whole book, let alone taken the time to write such insightful commentary [...]”

On Valentine’s Day, Mr. Knodel gave his student: “[...] a bag of Peanut Butter M&M’s, which were her favorite candies, and a typed letter. It is specific about why he loves her.” 

He has begun to call her Love [...] He says on her eighteenth birthday, they will skip school and make love. The whole day, they will be entwined.

Later, Maggie wrote that she wanted to: [...] commit herself to unconditional love.” She wrote that she knew that it was wrong to love her teacher, but she wondered how love could be wrong. Nonetheless, she wanted to commit.

On Mr. Knodel’s 30th birthday, Maggie forgot the rules, and she texted him first. The text arrived during the 7:00 A.M. hour while her teacher was in the shower but while his wife was near his phone. Consequently, the student-teacher affair ended abruptly, and Maggie: “[...] vomits violently in the toilet. [...] She tells her mother she’s sick and doesn’t come out of her room for the rest of the day.”

Maggie assumed that the last day of her senior year would be the last day she saw Mr. Knodel - “[...] the love her of life.” Ergo, she hugged him, contemplated kissing him, and cried and shook in his arms. 

However, a week later they communicated via MSN Messenger. “She says how much she misses him.” But: “The next day there is an MSN message.” 

She found you in my contacts again, your area code. We can never talk again. 

Almost three years later and at the age of 20, Maggie was: “[...] still not over [Mr.] Aaron [Knodel]” [Emphasis added]

A man like him was a hero, especially when you grow up among boys, with their small principles and their shallow field of vision, who watch porn and debate nothing. She thinks, daily, of Aaron’s body and face and words and the protection she felt in his arms. 

However, unsurprisingly and typically, Maggie’s turning point(s) arrived via jealousy. 

Maggie's first turning point came when she learned that Mr. Knodel had been named North Dakota’s Teacher of the Year. At the time, Maggie was depressed and was still “pining after” her “older, married teacher”; thus, she considered Mr. Knodel’s award a “cruel offense”, that he was “rubbing it in her face”, and that she didn’t: “[...] mean shit in the world of Aaron Knodel.” 

The second turning point came after Maggie shared the details of her illicit affair with Addison whom replied: “There’s no way you’re the first, which means no way you’ll be the last.” Subsequently, before Maggie walked into the police station, she informed her parents, “When I was a senior I had an inappropriate relationship with my teacher, Mr. Knodel.”

Among other accolades, Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women was a #1 New York Times Bestseller and was named A Best Book of the Year by The Washington Post.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Famous Teleiophile Lily Allen: Age-Gap Teen Sex in Hotel Rooms

Nika Shakhnazarova reported for Page Six that "Lily Allen [shared]: My dad called the cops on me when I lost my virginity at 'about 12'" (August 16, 2023)

Shakhnazarova posted that the British singer shared on Alan Carr's “Life’s a Beach” podcast that while on holiday with her family in Brazil, she "went missing" in the hotel room of "a guy called Fernando" where ≈12-year-old Lily lost her virginity. 

Lily spent the night with Fernando, consequently, her father: "[...] thought she had gone missing and swiftly called the police."

“I actually went missing,” she explained. “I lost my virginity to a guy called Fernando in Brazil. When I was about 12, no I am [not] joking.”

“They thought I actually went missing. I went to his hotel room, and I was on holiday with my dad and brother, and obviously didn’t come back to my room,” she added.

“I woke up [the next day] and there was police all over the hotel. They were literally combing the beach and had T-shirts [asking], ‘Is this what she was wearing?’ 

Teen Lily Allen (Source: My Thoughts Exactly)

On the podcast, Lily referred to Fernando as a guy and not a boy; thus, it's safe to assume that he was (much) older than Lily; however, in her memoir, My Thoughts Exactly (Blink Publishing, 2018), Lily elaborated that Fernando was 20, and she was 14.

I lost my virginity to a guy called Fernando. I met him in Brazil on holiday with Dad and Alfie when I was fourteen. There was a teen bar at the hotel where we were staying, and that’s where we met. Fernando was twenty, and I was flattered that he fancied me, so off I went, trailing after him when he suggested going back to his room. 

He [groomed] fancied me, so off I went, trailing after him when he suggested going back to his room. 

Fernando didn't get into any trouble with the police, because Lily said on the podcast, "I didn’t have the heart to say [to my family and the police], no, I was just losing my virginity.” 

As you can see, Lily said on the podcast that she was ≈12 when she lost her virginity, but in her memoir, she wrote that she was 14; however, 12 seems to be closer to the truth because Gemma Mullin reported for The Sun that "Lily Allen Claims She Dad Sex With Der Dad's Famous Pal When She Was Just 14" (22 September 2018), which Lily elaborated on in her memoir by writing that she had a date with a television star in a bar and after "a couple of drinks" he took her to his room where they had sex.

Teen Lily Allen (Source: My Thoughts Exactly)

[As for] [t]he second time I had sex was [...] I’d been watching my dad play a celebrity charity football game with a television star. After the match, the TV star left his football gear in my dad’s car, and I was dispatched to his hotel to return it. We arranged to meet in the bar there. He bought me a couple of drinks, then took me up to his room and had sex with me. I was fourteen. 

To the television star's dismay, Lily's father, the actor Keith Allen, found out about his daughter's age-gap sex. And how did Lily's father respond? Like Petronella Wyatt's father, he joked about his girl having sex with a man. Lily wrote: "[...] my dad turned me having sex with this guy I hardly knew into a joke between him and his mates."

Unsurprisingly, Lily is a teleiophile, but not only by her actions but by her words as well. In her memoir, she related that when she was a nymphet, she was "infatuated with older men", that having sex with older men was a kickstarter, and she wrote that older guys were more "equipped" than boys to teach her about sex.

It wasn’t a coincidence that my first sexual partners were older than me. [...] I was infatuated with older men because I felt that if I could prove to someone older that I could be mature too, then I was grown-up myself. I didn’t feel comfortable being a child (as I may have mentioned 800 times). Sleeping with older men was a way of trying to kickstart the next chapter of my life. 

I also thought that an older guy would be better equipped to show me what the whole sex thing was about, because I found it so mysterious myself.