Monday, June 12, 2023

A TL;DR of RESTLESS VIRGINS: LOVE, [Bleacher, Chapel, Library, Bathroom, & Locker Room Teen] SEX & SURVIVAL IN PREP SCHOOL

Here are some blurbs from Abigail Jones and Marissa Miley’s New York Times Bestseller Restless Virgins: Love, Sex, and Survival in Prep School:

“A shocking look at the sexual behaviors of privileged teens [...]” - Natalie Morales, The Today Show

“[A]s they [Jones and Miley] chip away at the pervasive climate of unrelenting promiscuity and out-of-control partying, it is clear that something is very wrong in the life of contemporary teens [...]” - O, The Oprah Magazine

“As I was reading, I had to keep flipping back to the beginning where it says Restless Virgins is a work of nonfiction [...] all the things in the book really happened.” - Gayle King, XM’s Oprah & Friends

That’s correct, per Jones and Miley, both Milton Academy alumnae, the shocking sexual behavior and unrelenting promiscuity of the privileged Milton prep school students really happened during the 2004-2005 school year. In a sort of synopsis of their book, Jones and Marissa wrote:

Milton Academy educates the best and the brightest [...] It’s an American story about teenagers surviving high school, confusing lust with love and sex with power, and searching for self-worth. Their experiences are the stories of privileged adolescence.

I normally don’t focus on detailed character descriptions - whether fictional or non-fictional; however, I think it’s worth sharing Jones and Miley’s descriptions of typical Milton students, whom were described as preppy trust-fund babies who drove BMW convertibles and whom were known to “complain about their cleaning people”:

“[...] the DSGs [Day Student Girls] sat with their thin, designer-clothing-clad legs lined up in a row [...] Whitney sat in her short skirt and short sleeved polo to match. Her hair razor straight, and she flipped it occasionally  with her hand [...] Whitney wore flawless makeup and knew she looked good. Her best friend, a beachy blonde, true trophy-wife material, looked even better [another] one a sensual beauty with dark hair and exotic features, another the quintessential WASP with a pearl necklace.”

“[...] the senior boys, who were dressed like budding yachtsmen in navy blazers, khaki pants, ties and loafers [...] Reed and the Hanley boys wore matching orange ties from Brooks Brothers.”

The non-fiction book focuses on the 2004-2005 senior class that was described as a: “[...] complex teenage creature all of its own, governed by a distinct social and academic hierarchy, sustained by friendships and crushes, lust and desire [...]”. Below is the tl;dr of my 14 page recap of the 328 page book. 

Restless Virgins (2013) | Lifetime

Whitney: Out for Pleasure

Whitney had long brown hair and “[...] an unusual combination of beauty and grace, slim and delicate after a decade devoted to figure skating.” And “[...] as one of the popular senior girls herself, she knew it was her duty to look hot.”

On the night of her senior year First Dance, “she was out for pleasure”. Consequently, “Whitney and Tripp found themselves wandering across the main quad and toward a football field.” On the bleachers, “confident in her hand-job skills, Whitney gave Tripp a hand-job,” because she wasn’t sure if she could give him “head” due to Tripps “huge!” and “enormous!” penis. Despite Tripp's size: “She wanted him inside her, thick and encompassing, painful in that really, really good way” - on the prep school’s bleachers. 

Talk about a nubile nymphet. Jones and Miley shared some of Whitney’s other sexual exploits:

  • During sophomore year, Whitney kissed seven guys at a Dave Matthews concert

  • Whitney and a “girlfriend” hooked up in front of their boyfriends, which one can infer happened during Whitney’s freshman year 

  • Whitney desired “fucking” before figure skating practice. Thus, she’d “[...] run to Nick’s [dorm] room, have sex [sans préservatif], spring back to her car, and barely make it to practice on time.”

  • Whitney had her first orgasm, which Jones and Miley described as “delicious”, “[...] in Nick’s bed, his aunt's bedroom nearby, at some odd hour of the night [...]”

  • Jones and Miley wrote of Whitney and Nick: “She’d given him head a million times.” Hyperbole?

  • And Whitney had: “[...] a one-night stand with a hot guy she met on vacation in the Caribbean.”

Teen Sex in the Library, Snack Bar, Dorm, Bathroom, Chapel, etc. 

In addition to the football field, Whitney and a number of other schoolgirls attempted sex in the “library, the snack bar after hours, dorms [obviously], [and] random bathrooms.” Jones and Miley even wrote about “the orgasm a girl planned to have that afternoon on the third floor of the school library”. 

Jones and Miley wrote: “Girls wanted [sex] stories [...]” And the “potential increase in social status and attention. Some girls, like Whitney, enjoyed performing oral sex, honing their skills, loving the control.”

At the Swap It Dance, Reed: “[...] spotted a girl who gave him the look he was searching for.” Despite never having met before, she “led him to the [Apthorp] chapel” where “[h]e fingered her briefly” and “the girl gave Reed a blow job” near the chapel’s “massive pipe organ”.

Vibrators and Semi Naked Runs to the Chapel

At the end of the school year: “One  by one, the senior girls bestowed their cherished gifts upon the underclassmen [...] One senior willed a [cherished] vibrator. Another passed down a [cherished] key to the yearbook office to the girl whom she’d caught having sex in Pryce’s common room [only hours] after check-in.” Subsequently, some senior schoolgirls: “yelled, ‘Flagpole run!’, took off varying amounts of clothing, and did a seminaked run to the chapel, Forbes, and back.” [Emphasis added] 

Teen Oral Orgies

Jones and Miley shared that, after dining in Forbes, Reed, Brady and three other school boys proceeded to the Athletic and Convocation Center (ACC) where they: “[...] punched in the security code, and slipped inside.” Subsequently, Zoe, a 15-year-old sophomore, “slipped inside” the ACC too and joined the school boys in the hockey team’s locker room. What was Zoe doing in the boy’s locker room the night before exams? 

“She knew exactly what to do. She kneeled and began: one boy, then the next, oral sex performed on all five in turn.” 

And that was Zoe’s third teen oral sex orgy - consecutively! 

“Zoe had spent part of Saturday night giving head to three guys in a dorm room, and part of Sunday night doing the same to three guys in the same locker room. Monday night was not novel [...]” 

Annie: A Rubens Girl

Annie was described as having wavy blond hair “past her soldiers” and “[s]he was fleshy, a Rubens girl with a curvaceous body, breasts the size of baby melons since they’d first cropped up in fifth grade [...] Yet she’d always been reticent about her breasts, and still didn’t understand how they never garnered her attention from the guys at school.” 

Despite Annie’s experience, by senior year, she feared that the younger schoolgirls, “fifteen and sixteen-year-old vixens, with their developing breasts”, were having sex “with much more frequency”, because they were “[s]neaking in, sneaking out, stifled moans from a couch in the common room when dorm parents weren’t looking: it was all business as usual for some of the girls in her dorm.”

Caitlin Lane’s Parties and Teen Sex Games

Brady’s bunch of friends, “attractive, athletic, and preppy”, had an alliance with the younger Day Student Girls [DSG], Milton’s most popular girls, and Caitlin Lane whom was described as a “stunning young DSG”. Consequently, petites fêtes were held in Caitlin’s basement “[...] with beer, TV, hookups, [and] parents upstairs without a care.” “There in the basement, or in cars parked in empty parking lots, these girls offered themselves to Brady and his friends.” [Emphasis added] 

What type of hookups happened in Caitlin’s basement? 

  • “Hookups involving one girl and several guys - or at least one girl, one guy, and an audience - were not unusual at Caitlin Lane’s parties.” 

  • At Caitlin’s parties: “A topless [boarding school] girl was a standard sight.”

  • In addition to teen threesomes in Caitlin’s basement there was “[...] the Dub Saw (when two boys penetrate a girl simultaneously, one in her vagina and one in her anus), or the Eiffel Tower (when a girl performs oral sex on one boy and simultaneously receives vaginal or [teen] anal sex from another boy, while the guys slap hands above her, forming the famous French point).

(However, Stoneface took place on campus and in dorm rooms where “[...] guys sit around a table while a girl crawls around underneath, performing oral sex on each of them in a random order. The winner is the last boy to show an expression of pleasure, the one with the stone face.”)

In the end, despite reading the tl;dr of the recap, it still may be clear to the reader that, in their New York Times Bestseller, Jones and Miller efficiently exemplified the fiction of, what they referred to as, the “myth of innocence”.

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