Friday, January 27, 2023

Kanye and Leonardo DiCaprio Fight Over Teen Student\Club Rat?

Eva Evans’ (@itsevaevans) TikTok, “How Kanye got between me and Leonardo DiCaprio” (1-7-23), is about when, in 2012, 35-year-old Kanye West allegedly “ruined” 17-year-old Eva’s chances of having an age-gap affair with 38-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio whom is well-known for his age-gap affairs.  

Kanye West has ruined a lot of things for a lot of people, but I want to talk about the time he ruined my chances at becoming Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend. 

The year was 2012. I was 17. The place was The Darby. My occupation at the time? Student slash club rat. 

After a whopping ten tequila shots, unsurprisingly, Eva had to find a bathroom, which is how she met DiCaprio whom offered the nymphet champagne. 

The night is bumping. It’s 2:00 am. I’ve had approximately 10 tequila sodas. Had to pee; so, I wade through the crowded Darby. I go to the bathroom. I come back to my table. But wait a second. I look up and instead of seeing the friendly face of Mathew - my best friend slash promoter.

Who do I see? Sweet Leo. He’s mid conversation but he looks up at me, and he sees my confused countenance, and he goes, “Would like some champagne?” 

However, after accepting DiCaprio’s glass of champagne, Kanye smiled at Eva, allegedly mischievously, and consequently, Eva “booked it” and informed her friends that DiCaprio and Kanye were about to fight for her love.

[...] and I look to my right. And [can you] guess who I see sitting next to the DJ booth? No other than Kanye West. So there I am face to face with Kanye. Right as this registers, Leo taps me on the shoulder [and] hands me a glass of champagne. I accept. “Thank you Leo.” 

But I’m still facing Kanye. And [do] you know what this man does? He smiles. He smiles. [sic] Do you know how scary Kanye smiling in 2012 was - period? Let alone you’re 17. When I tell you I booked it from that table. I made my way back to the crowd. I found my friends one table over [and] I said, “I think that Kanye West and Leonardo DiCaprio are about to have a fight over me!” 

To be fair, I don’t think DiCaprio and Kanye suspected that Eva was 17. Especially since she was in a club in Chelsea at 2:00 AM donning a bodycon dress, Lita Spike platform boots, and a glass of champagne; however, np, because the age-of-consent in Manhattan is 17. And Eva opined that, despite being “only 17”, she “was perfect for [38-year-old] Leo”.

“[...] what I was wearing was a bodycon dress [...] Now upon my feet were the Jeffrey Campbell Lita Spike platform boot. I was a 2012 It girl - only 17 [but] I was perfect for Leo. Had Kanye not terrified my drunken yakked up 2021 teenage self with an ear to ear smile, this would have been me baby. (Kisses photograph of Leo.)

Eva reminded us of Julia Fox whom apparently was not turned off by Kanye’s smile. Julia shared with Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast that she was a teen sex worker during her high school years, but she started clubbing when she was about 14-years-old - "slutty" but in braces, which is not unusual for “hot underage” New York nubile nymphets.

Cooper: "How old were you when you first went clubbing?"

Fox: "Like proper clubbing? Maybe like 14 [...] They were so clearly fake [IDs] [...] but you see, like, slutty [girls] [...] You’re gonna let them in. The hot underage [girls] [...]"

Cooper: "Nobody gives a fuck."

Fox: "I had braces, and they were letting me in, girl."

Gossip Girl's Julien in the club.

And you thought the teens drinking in Manhattan clubs in the Gossip Girl volumes (e.g., And, just like that, Blair knew she was ready. She took another sip of her scotch. Oh, yes. She was definitely ready. [v01p10]) and episodes was only fiction. 

As for some of the TikTok’s comments. Amanda commented the Eva had a “NY moment” accompanied by a heart exclamation emoji, Jennifer commented that Eva had an “iconic moment”, but Milalillies didn’t appear to be pleased with the age gap. 

Amanda Victoria: A NY moment 👏🏽❣️(Heart Exclamation

Jennifer P Egbert: Iconic moment 🙌🏽(Raising Hands)

Milalillies: 17 yrs old 🥺(Pleading Face emoji)

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Gen Z Influencer: Escorting Old Men on (Paid) Dates

Casey Lewis’ Substack, After School, consists of: “Daily links 'n things about youth culture and Gen Z consumer trends.” In the DIGITAL CULTURE section of the “Frontal Lobes and Virtual Wives” weekend edition (Jan 14, 2023), Lewis wrote about the latest #grwm (i.e., get ready with me ) TikToks, which are “get ready with me to go on paid dates”. 
The latest in #grwm, the popular TikTok category in which creators share their beauty routines. If you were into the “get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend” TikToks, wait until you see the “get ready with me to go on paid dates” TikToks. 

The most interesting thing about GRWMs, imo, is that while they’re doing their makeup, they’re not actually talking about their beauty routines — the creators are divulging personal anecdotes, giving the viewer a sense that they’re confiding in a friend — the friend being you, the viewer. Master storytellers, these girls!

To give her subscribers an example of a master storyteller, Lewis embedded a Jan 13, 2023 Tweet by noisé (@proetrie) whom shared a “get ready with me to go on paid date” TikTok by aubrey.kidd2 and tweeted that, although he condones escorting, he was shocked by how easy it has become. And he noted that the TikTok’s comments section was riddled with young women asking for the link to where they could also sign up to be paid to go on dates - with much older men. However, noisé noted that most men may start with a paid date, but only with the hope of advancing to paid sex - with their much younger escorts.)

noisé: likely the last tiktok (truly toxic app i’m addicted to) i will be posting but holy shit i’m shocked how easy this all has become—no judgment, good for her but the the comment section was other girls asking for the site.

why do women not realize why these dudes are doing this?!

In the TikTok, Aubrey opened with, “I’m going on a paid date. It’s literally how I pay my rent.” 

A co-worker told Aubrey about the website where it advertises “WhatsYourPrice® for the DATE of a Lifetime”

Aubrey: “She was like, ‘You can go on dates and get paid for it.’ I was like, ‘Oh my God. That sounds so cool. I wanna get paid to go on dates. Like, are you kidding me?” 

Aubrey got the first (paid) date jitters and “bailed out” on her initial offer of $200. However, like the Roman teen prostitutes, materialism (e.g., a desire for “a festival ticket or, like, new clothes for something”) was the impetus that she needed to accept the second offer of $200. 

Aubrey met her date for lunch at a Sushi restaurant in Pacific Beach.  How was the sushi - you may ask? Aubrey: “The fucking best sushi ever.” 

Due to the waitresses and staff looking suspiciously at Aubrey, she assumed that they assumed, “Oh my god, this girl’s an escort.”

Aubrey, who appears to be in her very early 20s described her date as a “crusty, dusty, ugly old man”, but she went on to share that the age-gap date had a “vibe”. And that she and her much older “cool” date had a good conversation.  

Aubrey: “But it was a vibe. We had a good conversation. He was a cool guy.”

After Aubrey’s old man gave her $200 under the table, Aubrey (strategically) informed him that she was going shopping at Urban Outfitters, which was (conveniently) next to the sushi restaurant. Consequently, Aubrey’s date took her to Urban Outfitters for a $500 shopping spree! 

Ergo, like NYC based influencer Talia Lichstein, Aubrey’s inner teleiophile came out, and she exclaimed:

“After that I was like, ‘You know what? Age is just a number.’ I don’t give a fuck if I get weird looks. This is great. I wanna keep doing this!”

Lastly, let's take a look at the comments section that noisé alluded to where, unsurprisingly, like Julia Fox, a number of young women condoned getting paid by (much) older men. 
gracyn meredith: Ma’am I have never signed up so quickly

Sydney B.: once you get past the first date i swear it’s so easy after that to continue doing it!!!!!

KayWithThaBeam: What’s the app or website???

And of course, very young women taking advantage of paid dates (i.e., escorting) isn't new. For example, we we recapped New York magazine's The Cut Sex Diaries feature, "The College Student Starting to Fall for Her Sugar Daddy" (OCT. 3, 2021), which is about a 21-year-old college student slash sugar baby slash part-time prostitute. But what is novel, is that Gen Zers and Millennials appear to be more open about their exploits. 

Monday, January 9, 2023

Kornelia Ski (18): A Teen Influencer in Leo DiCaprio's Bathroom?

PrimaryLength6976 posted on the NYCInfluencerSnark subReddit (June 7, 2023) that model Kornelia Ski seems to be obsessed with celebrities and that Leonardo DiCaprio appears to appear “everywhere” Kornelia goes. And PrimaryLength6976 reminded Redditors that Kornelia’s a nymphet. 

PrimaryLength6976: Girl seems like she’s obsessed with getting with these celebrities. Every single video seems to be her saying “were gonna get ourselves in “ where celebrities are and leonardo seems to be everywhere she goes. (Mind u shes 18 years old)

PrimaryLength6976 was referencing a TikTok that Kornelia posted on Wednesday 12-28-22. In the video, Kornelia shared that she was going to the UNICEF Gala [in St. Barth] where Drake was going to perform. 

Kornelia, “So, basically, there’s gonna be a ton of celebrities there. I’m gonna be super excited. It’s gonna be huge.” 

And Kornelia stated that, on the previous night, she went out and saw a “ton of celebrities” including, you guessed it, Leonardo DiCaprio. In addition, sans soutien-gorge, Kornelia kindly lowered the strap of her designer wife beater and shared with her followers, “[...] my chest is red, but the rest of my body is tan.”

A week later, on 01-04-23, upon her return from St. Barth, again sans soutien-gorge, Kornelia posted an update TikTok and related that on New Year’s [Eve], she was invited to an after party aboard the Vava, “this giant yacht”, where she “talked with Drake for a little bit”. Subsequently, Kornelia and her friends had some trouble finding a bathroom until. 

Kornelia, “The same friend that got me on, was actually also staying on the boat; so, he actually let us use his bathroom.” 

Who is Kornelia’s friend - you may ask? It appears that PrimaryLength6976 may be onto something about Leonardo appearing “everywhere” Kornelia goes, because Kornelia went on to relate that when she went to that bathroom, it was in fact Leo’s bathroom and that she has receipts. 

Kornelia, “When we actually, like, went to the bathroom [...] I just got a video in Leo’s bathroom. It was the funniest shit.”

One could safely infer from Kornelia (excitedly) name dropping Drake and Leo in two TikToks that, like NYC based influencers like Talia Lichstein and Sydnee Paige, she too is a(n) (open) teleiophile. And random53636463646 may have confirmed our inference when random commented that, allegedly, Long Island born Kornelia has a 22-year-old ex whom she started dating when she was 16, and he was ≈ 20.

random53636463646: [...] she’s from lindenhurst long island😭😭😭 and her 22 yr old exthat she dated since she was 16😵‍💫gave her all the lavish stuff she has (bags, jewelry, vacations, etc) and she broke up with him as soon as she started hanging with celebs but kept all his gifts and still flaunts them LMAOOO

However, like PrimaryLength6976, bravomommy doesn’t appear to condone age-gap relationships. 

bravomommy: “Of course, I don’t support a relationship between and [sic] adult and child though.” 

But bravomommy’s comment is fascinating when one considers that an 18-year-old “child” can, like Sami Sheen, have an OnlyFans account. An 18-year-old can be a (teen) porn star. And in Nevada, an 18-year-old can be a (teen) prostitute. Wait, is bravomommy anti age-gap relationships but, like Julia Fox, pro (teen) sex workers? With that said, it’s safe to assume that Kornelia, Drake and Leo would not opine that Kornelia is a child, a (very) young woman maybe, but not a child. 

And speaking of Drake, unsurprisingly, Kornelia isn’t the only influencer he has “talked” to. We previously posted (July 24, 2022) that, per Page Six, 35-year-old Drake did some ‘yacht hopping’ with 21-year-old Suede Brooks. Leah Sarnoff‍ of Entertainment Tonight added: "They are sweet, whispering in each other's ears and laughing." In addition, prior to Brooks, per W Magazine, 31-year-old Drake dated 18-year-old Bella Harris. 

Source: Reddit\TrustLittleBrother

Leo’s age-gap relationships are famous. But did you know that Leo started dating his ex Camila Morrone when she was 19? Well, I related in Teens Love and Want to F*ck James Franco: A Study of a Life and Works that Daniella Scott of Cosmopolitan wrote that Leonardo DiCaprio met Camila Morrone when she was 12, reunited with her when she was 19, and shortly thereafter started (openly) dating the actress. 

Saturday, December 31, 2022

SLALOM (2020): "Hot [French] Adolescent Hormones" | Hormones Chaud [Français] Adolescent

Here’s part of the, somewhat misleading, Movie Info for Slalom (2022) from Rotten Tomatoes:

This riveting, Cannes-selected #MeToo drama from debut filmmaker Charlène Favier follows the relationship between a teenage ski prodigy and her predatory instructor [...] In a breakthrough role, Noée Abita plays 15-year-old Lyz, a high school student in the French Alps who has been accepted to an elite ski club known for producing some of the country's top professional athletes. Taking a chance on his new recruit, ex-champion turned coach Fred decides to mold Lyz into his shining star despite her lack of experience. Under his influence, she will have to endure more than the physical and emotional pressure of the training. Will Lyz's determination help her escape Fred's exploitative grip?

The last sentence is misleading, because, on the contrary, Lyz wanted to be even further in her coach’s grip. 

In the French film, shortly after we’re shown the first of five scenes with Lyz in her (sports) bra and panties (#theallureofnymphets), Lyz happened upon Fred, her ski coach, showering. Lyz stared at her nude coach for ≈ ten (10) seconds before she walked in the other direction. Consequently, Lyz asked Justine, another teen ski club member, “Ever slept with a guy?” Justine replied, “Yeah. Well, No. I blew Max in the restroom. I hated it.”

After Lyz won her first ski tournament, coach Fred took her on a joy ride before he kissed her, informed her, “Look what you do to me,” placed Lyz’s hand on his penis, put his hand on Lyz’s hand, and masturbated until orgasm. Lyz toyed with her coach’s semen until he gave her a rag from the van. 

Subsequently, at Lyz’s victory dinner, Lyz placed her hand on her coaches hand and asked, “You won’t let me down?”

Due to declining grades and Lyz’s mother having to work far away in Marseille, Lyz moved in with coach Fred and his wife -  Lilou.  Shortly thereafter, Lyz asked Lilou, “How long have you been with Fred?”

It’s common for age-gap content to be coupled with (mainstream) teen lipstick lesbian content; thus, it’s no surprise that a topless Justine attempted to kiss Lyz in the locker room.

Lyz, “What are you doing?”
Justine, “What would you say if it were [coach] Fred?”
Lyz, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I interest Fred just because I win races. But it’s a first for me. It means he believes in me. I like that. To hell with the rest."

As we see, Lyz feared that coach Fred's “interest” was only due to her superior skiing skills. In other words, she feared that he was only attracted to her sexually due to her skills on the slopes. Nonetheless, she liked the individual attention and was like, “To hell with the rest.” Consequently, coach Fred took Lyz’s virginity in the ski resort’s weight room. 

Referring to a box of Plan-B, Lyz asked the pharmacist, “How much is it? Intriguingly, he replied, “It’s free for minors.” (#really)

Unsurprisingly, Lilou suspected that her husband and Lyz were having an age-gap affair. 

Coach Fred, “What’s your problem?”
Lilou, “She’s 15. You’re with her every day. On weekends, too.”
Coach Fred, “[…] Are you jealous?”

Later, with tears in her eyes, Lilou confronted Lyz about the potential skier-ski coach affair. Unconvincingly, Lyz replied, “We’ve done nothing.“

Later, to Lyz’s dismay, coach Fred informed her, “I’m not your boyfriend. I’m your trainer. OK?” Lyz replied, “I want to stay with you forever. You said you wouldn’t let me down.” 

Consequently, to entice her coach to be more like her boyfriend, Lyz displayed her jeunes fountains. And following her coach's example, she took her coach's hand and attempted to place it on her spandex covered vagina. 

Unfortunately, for Lyz it didn’t work. She came to the realization that coach Fred was more concerned about her winning championships than their age-gap relationship. Consequently, after she won the skiing championship, Lyz left her coach, her age-gap affair and skiing career behind - presumably for good. 

Lastly, Slalom reminded me of You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession, which is about a tennis player-tennis coach relationship, Slalom was shown at the Festival de Cannes, and the film received a 100% Tomatometer score from 62 film credits. For example, Harvey S. Karten of Big Apple Reviews opined of Lyz: "Hot adolescent hormones against the cold and beautiful French Alps."

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

[TEEN] FEMALE CHAUVINIST PIGS: The Rise of Teen Oral Sex, Thongs & Girl-on-Girl?

Ariel Levy wrote in Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of [Teen] Raunch Culture that she first started to notice a rise in teen raunch culture around 2002 when she started seeing, among other raunchy concerns, teens: [...] wearing jeans cut so low they exposed what came to be known as butt cleavage paired with miniature tops [...] and pierced navels alike.”

Levy defined Male Chauvinist Pigs as “men who regarded women as pieces of meat”, while she defined Female Chauvinist Pigs as “women who make sex objects of other women and of themselves” (i.e., self-sexualization). 

In addition to Female Chauvinist Pigs, Levy coined the phrase “raunch feminism”, which is where “stripping is a valuable to elevating womankind as gaining an education” and where “[t]he basic requirements are hot girls and small garments.”

Levy related that Jenna Jameson, “the world’s highest grossing porn star”, wrote the best seller How to Make Love Like a Porn Star that was published by Judith Regan. Interestingly, Regan opined on CBS, “I believe that there is a porno-ization of the culture [...]” 

Levy gave an example of the “porno-ization of the culture” when she wrote about “Cardio Striptease” classes that were offered at Crunch gyms in big cities like New York, LA, and Chicago where students were encouraged “to attend their workout sessions in bras and thongs”. Provocatively, for her “sweet sixteen celebration”, a California nymphet and eight of her friends participated in a Cardio Striptease class. (Levy did not disclose if the nymphets wore bras and thongs.) 

Relatedly, Anne, a student at Head-Royce, a private school in the wealthy section of Oakland, shared: “[...] like my friend is having her eighteenth birthday party and she wants to have strippers there.”

The chapter most relevant to this blog is intriguingly titled “Pigs in Training”, which is in reference to teen Female Chauvinist Pigs (i.e., self-sexualized nymphets). 

[Note: As I’ve previously detailed what Levy wrote on Swiffer Girl, (i.e., Danielle Miller, a Horace Mann prep middle school student, who produced three (3) self-shot teen masturbating videos that prominently displayed a Swiffer broom.), I’ll avoid her here.]

Levy began the chapter with several examples of teen oral sex - including middle school school bus oral sex:
There’s a rumor going around that “rainbow parties” are the latest teen rage. Rainbow parties are good old-fashioned slumber parties, with a distinctly contemporary twist: All the girls in attendance put on a different color of lipstick, invite over one lucky boy, and then one by one they treat him to oral sex until voilà! His penis is a spectral color chart.
(This reminded me of a previous post where we related that Laura Sessions Stepp wrote in the article "Parents Are Alarmed by an Unsettling New Fad in Middle Schools: Oral Sex" (July 8, 1999) for the Washington Post that nymphets at Williamsburg Middle School, "a mostly upper-income community" in Arlington, Virginia, were performing oral sex at house parties and in parks.) 
In December 2002, a middle-school girl performed fellatio on the high school boy sitting next to her on the school bus in Kingston, Massachusetts, while their classmates watched. 

The same thing had happened with a pair of seventh-graders on a school bus back in 1999 in Talbot County, Maryland, where an eighth-grade girl also fellated her neighbor during a crowded study hall. 

These incidents may have inspired two thirteen-year-olds in Beaver County, Pennsylvania, who were suspended for engaging in a round of oral sex (her on him) in the back of a school bus during a spring field trip in 2004.
These examples hit home, because I know of a Manhattan public school teacher whom had a scandal in his freshman year science class. It happened the day after his students returned from a field trip when a schoolgirl learned that her boyfriend received oral sex from their classmate - on the school bus. 


In the novel Hummingbirds, Mr. Landry, the headmistress of Carmine-Casey - a Manhattan prep school, shared with Binhammer, an English teacher, that she: “[...] got a call from a parent just two weeks ago giving her ninth-grade daughter permission to leave school when her boyfriend, who is a freshman in college, came to pick her up in his car.”

And in an example of art imitating life, Alexa, who, at the time, was a junior at Oyster Bay High, shared with Levy that 7th graders were “hooking up or having sex” with high school seniors:
“In my school, what was very popular was seventh- or eighth- or ninth-grade girls hooking up or having sex, whatever, with junior and senior guys,” she said. “Parents kept calling the school, like, why is this senior at my house when my daughter is a freshman? They dressed so provocatively, the guys couldn’t really tell how old the girls were…all they see is a hot girl.”
Thus, it appears that those Oyster Bay High nymphets were practicing what Levy termed “raunch feminism” where : “The basic requirements are hot [teen] girls and small garments.”

Degrassi | Middle School Thong

Unsurprisingly, Levy wrote that “everybody” at Oyster Bay High shared with her that they wore teen thongs. And Levy related a story about a middle-school nymphet (“who was 12 or 13”) at Head-Royce whom: “[...] pulled up her shirt, pulled out the strap of her thong from under the side of her skirt, and snapped it [...]”!

In addition to performing oral sex (on school buses) and wearing thongs under small garments, it’s not unusual for nymphets to participate in lipstick lesbianism or what the previous owner of my copy of Female Chauvinist Pigs annotated as “bisexual appropriation”. 

Therefore, it’s not unanticipated that Levy described “girl-on-girl action at school dances”. For example, David and Anne, classmates at Head-Royce, shared with Levy that schoolgirls do live girl-on-girl scenes to “appeal to the guys” (i.e., for “a lot of attention…definitely”) :
An example, he said, would be all the lap dancing and girl-on-girl action at school dances. “There’s this whole stereotype, and it’s probably largely true, that guys kind of like two girls kissing each other. So you’ll see a guy sitting on a chair—at, you know, a high school dance—and two girls will just go up and give him this huge lap dance and start making out. [...] just doing it to appeal to the “guys…always trying to find this new way in to appeal to the guys.

One of David’s best female friends, Anne, agreed. “Definitely girls hook up with other girls because they know the guys will like it,” she said. “They think, Then the guys are going to want to hook up with me and give me a lot of attention…definitely. If they think a guy’s going to like it, they’ll do it.

But it appears that (some) teachers and schools, like at Dalton in Manhattan, may condone schoolgirl (oral) sex and even teen masturbation. For example, Peggy Cowan, the president of the New Jersey Physicians Group, related to Levy: “I heard of one woman teacher who tells kids how to masturbate. Explaining it! About fantasizing when you shower!” 

And we shared that Tamar Lewin posted in "Teen-Agers Alter Sexual Practices, Thinking Risks Will Be Avoided" (April 5, 1997) for the New York Times that at Hunter, a top high school on Manhattan's wealthy Upper East Side, provides "mint-flavored condoms with no spermicide, labeled ''ONLY for oral sex'' for the Hunter High nymphets.

In the end, Levy related that the behavior of teen Female Chauvinist Pigs is not always about getting attention. In some cases, nymphets are expressing their sexuality. Connectedly, Levy shared an anecdote about Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden, which Levy referred to as a “groundbreaking collection of women’s sexual fantasies”. In terms of teens expressing their sexuality, here are three examples from My Secret Garden:
Clarissa shared that she remembers when she and her friend were caught masturbating with candles when they were 12.

Theda's first sexual fantasy started after she gazed upon her teacher's "rotund posterior" when she was about 7 or 8.  She wrote that she had "an infantile urge” to slide her hand “[…] down his bum cheeks and round to 'the front' [...]".

Alexandra fantasized about having an affair with her high school teacher. She stated emphatically, "[...] I'm sure it would not be a fantasy if I gave him a little encouragement."
Levy even shared that some of the same sexual fantasies she had when she was “very young” currently run through her bed: 
“Likewise, certain themes have run through my sexual fantasies since I was very young, just as they now run through my bed. Nobody had to teach me how to want these things, or how to get them.”
And the author shared that when she was a 17-year-old high school student, she visited Wesleyan, where, as part of her college tour, she was taken to a “Naked Party” that was decorated with a crepe paper penis and vagina. And Levy learned that at Wesleyan: “Group sex, to say nothing of casual sex, was *de rigueur.” Needless to say, Levy is an alumna of Wesleyan. But doesn’t Levy’s anecdote contradict her subtitle? Maybe there hasn’t been a [sharp] rise in teen raunch culture but rather a gradual continuation. 

*de ri·gueur | adjective: required by etiquette or current fashion. (Oxford Languages) [Emphasis added]

Saturday, December 17, 2022

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS: A Student Teacher Sexual Affair Triangle | Alison, Aria & Mr. Fitz

On Pretty Little Liars, Aria and Mr. Ezra Fitz’s age-gap sexual affair may be the most famous (fictional) student-teacher affair in popular culture; however, before Ezria there was Ezrison - the age-gap affair between Alison DiLaurentis and Ezra. And just like with Aria, Ezra met Alison in a bar where, just like Aria, 15-year-old Alison lied about her age; however, unlike Ezria, viewers didn’t learn of Ezrison until season 4.

In “Turn of the Shoe” (s04e02), Tippi, a parrot, parroted “Hey Board Shorts, miss me?", which Tippi learned from Alison. Consequently, the Pretty Little Liars (PLL) learned that Alison had an affair with someone named Board Shorts. 

Alison DiLaurentis

In “Now You See Me, Now You Don't” (s04e12), Aria discovered a letter that revealed that Alison met Board Shorts in Rosewood. In the letter, Alison told Board Shorts that she was planning to take him to her parents' place on the seaside resort of Cape May for her 18th birthday. (Intriguingly, Higbee was the name of Alison’s favorite beach on Cape May, which IRL is a nudist beach.)

Of Rosewood, Alison wrote in the letter to Board Shorts: “It’s best kept secret was you. But you’re my best kept secret now. My friends wouldn’t understand [our age difference].”

Source: Analyzing A\Tumblr

In “Love ShAck, Baby” (s04e15) a PLL noticed an entry in Alison’s journal\dairy titled “Hot for Teacher”, which is also the title of a 1984 Van Halen song that is about a student who is “hot for teacher” . Here’s the text of the letter where Alison expresses her attraction to older men:
Hot for Teacher

I saw a teacher interviewing today with the principal. He was quite sexy. High school boys are gross, college guys are only looking for one thing, but older men, now they know what they want and take it all. He looked kind of bookish but in a cute way. I will get to know him eventually and to have a teacher on my side [...]
In ‘Bite Your Tongue’ s04e17, we learned, via a flashback, that Board Shorts liked to take Alison to The Hart and The Huntsman bar where, after Alison asked Board Shorts, “So, you think I’m mature enough?”, she sensually kissed him.

Alison & Ezra

Eventually, via journal slash diary entries (i.e., Hot for Teacher and The Hart and The Huntsman) and some investigative work, the PLLs discovered that Board Shorts was actually ≈ 22-year-old Ezra.

In “A is for Answers” (s04e24), Alison revealed to Aria that she first met Ezra in a pub that she used to “hangout a lot” in and that she told Ezra that she was a [freshman] at UPenn. (Of course, Alison chose UPenn, an Ivy League school, over Drexel, which would have been just as geographically accurate.)

In a flashback, Alison spied Ezra in the pub, sat next to him, ordered a “gin and tonic”, and foretold Ezra, “Sometimes lies are more interesting than the truth.” Alison went on to share with Aria that Ezra told her that she reminded him of Breakfast at Tiffany’s Holly Golightly and that he wanted her to be the muse for his writing. 

As Ezra was an English teacher and writer, it’s safe to assume that he was referring to Truman Capote's novella and not the film adaptation of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Of the novella, I related in The Allure of Nymphets that Holly Golightly married a much older man at the age of 13, she lived with a college jock at the age of 15, and at the age of 18, she proclaimed, “I can’t get excited by a man until he’s at least forty-two.”

And Ezra’s Alison slash Holly connection is a double entendre, which will be explored when we discuss Emison. 

Back from the flashback, Ezra exclaimed to Alison, 

“You lied to me.” “Look, it is one thing to make up stories [...] but to lie to a guy and say that you’re 21, when you’re [15 and] still in high school!”

(Note: “you’re 21” may be a Pretty Little Liars continuity error as Alison lied in the letter that she was 18.)

Alison replied, “What’s the big deal? [...]” ''[...] what are you so freaked out about?”

Ezra, “God help me, Alison. I actually like you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

Allison softly kissed Ezra on the cheek and said, “You’re an alright guy. See you around”

Very interestingly, later in the episode, Alison checked into the Lost Woods Resort under the alias Vivian Darkbloom, which is an anagram of Vladimir Nabokov - the author of Lolita.

If you agree with novelist Robertson Davies' assessment of Lolita, Alison’s use of Vivian Darkbloom as an alias is fitting. We shared in Nymphalis carmen: Nympholepsy in Nabokov’s Oeuvre that Davies opined that Lolita was: “[...] not [about] the corruption of an innocent child by a cunning adult, but [about] the exploitation of a weak adult by a corrupt child.” And Donald Malcolm wrote in his New Yorker piece, “Lo, the Poor Nymphet”: “[...] it is Lolita who boldly, directly seduces him [i.e., Humbert]. 

In "EscApe From New York" (s05e01), Alison took the PLLs to the Fitzgerald Theater in Manhattan. Despite the theater’s “wow” factor, Alison told the PLLs that Ezra didn’t take Alison to the theater to impress her, but that the theater was his, “[...] kind of special place.”  

In a flashback at the theater, once again, Ezra reminded Alison that she was his Holly Golighty.

Upon the stage Alison said, “I could be an actress.”

Ezra, “Could be? Well, I hate to break it to you but you already are.” [...] “You really are my Holly Golighty.”

After Alison learned from Bill, the Fitzgerald Theater’s janitor, that Ezra was in fact a Fitzgerald, she shared with the PLLs that that was when she realized that Ezra was pretending to be poor. Consequently, Alison shared, “I actually like him more for that.” In addition, Alison confessed to the PLLs that she “stayed over a few times” at the theater. Rhetorical question: What was Alison and Ezra doing when she “stayed over a few times” at Ezra's “[...] kind of special place”?

In "Surfing the Aftershocks" s05e03, Alison briefly visited Ezra’s apartment  - only to return his manuscript, but Ezra wanted Alison to let Aria know that she had paid him a visit. One can confidently infer that that was not the only visit Alison made to Ezra’s place. 

Wait, but Ezra wasn’t Alison’s only age-gap affair. Remember when Alison said to Ezra, “What’s the big deal? [...]” ''[...]  what are you so freaked out about?” Well, I left out the part where Alison said, “We didn’t do anything.” That sentence was revealing, because it revealed that Ezra didn’t cause Alison’s teen pregnancy scare. It was Darren Wilden, a Rosewood police officer, who Alison referred to in her journal as Beach Hottie. That’s correct. 15-year-old Alison and 34-year-old Wilden had (unprotected) sex during Alison’s summer break on the romantic seaside resort of Cape May.

As a matter of fact, Alison shared in “Out of the Frying Pan, into the Inferno” (s03e17) that she and Beach Hottie had sex more than once. When asked, “You mean you weren’t using protection?” Alison replied, “We were. Just not all the time.”

Beach Hottie (Darren Wilden), Alison, & CeCe

The PLLs didn’t realize it, but during “Now You See Me, Now You Don't”, they saw a picture of Alison posing on a boat in Cape May with her hand around Beach Hottie’s waist. 

And when Alison was 14, she had an age-gap affair with (approximately) 25-year-old Ian Thomas. Some even considered it one of the hottest hookups in Pretty Little Liars history!

Shyla Watson wrote in her PopSugar post “39 of the Hottest Hookups in Pretty Little Liars History”: “Spencer [a PLL]  isn't the first younger girl who Ian dates in secret. While in a relationship with Melissa [Spencer’s older sister], Ian has a secret affair with a 14-year-old Alison.”

Intriguingly, some PLL fans theorized that Alison's Hot for Teacher journal entry was not written about Ezra but was written about Ian after Alison saw Ian interviewing for Rosewood High’s field hockey coaching position. After which, Alison had a sudden desire to learn how to play the sport. 

Lastly, let’s circle back to Ezra’s double entendre that Alison was his Holly Golightly. 

Rebecca Renner wrote in her The Paris Review post "Was Holly Golightly Bisexual?": "The name Holly Golightly is synonymous with sex and sophistication, but viewers may not know as much about her as they think." You can write that again. Renner then shared this relevant Holly quote from the novella:
“Of course people couldn’t help but think I must be a bit of a dyke myself. And of course I am [...] So what? That never discouraged a man yet, in fact it seems to goad them on.”

And this excerpt from a 1968 Truman Capote Playboy interview is revealing:

Playboy: “Was Holly a Lesbian?”

Capote: “Of course [...] but what intrigues me is the heterosexual male’s fascination with Lesbians.”
What does this have to do with Alison - you may ask? As often is the case with (fictional) teleiophiles, like, Holly, Alison was a lipstick lesbian too who gave Emily, her schoolmate and PLL, “practice kisses”. For example, in a “The Perfect Storm” (s01e09) flashback scene, after Alison read to Emily from Great Expectations, the nymphets kissed in Rosewood High’s library. Consequently, Alison wrote in her journal under the title Girl Crush:

So girl crush kissed me today. To be fair, I kissed her back and it was nice, but I definitely don’t have feelings for her in the way she has for me [...] I catch her staring at me in class [...]

In another flashback, in Rosewood’s locker room, Alison removed her towel, and while topless, she turned to face Emily before she asked Emily if she had seen her new French bra. “Do me a favor. Hook it for me, would you?” Emily obliged and hooked Alison’s French bra, rubbed Alison’s bare shoulder, and kissed Alison's damp neck, which prompted Alison to remind Emily, “Just because we kissed in the library Emily [...] A kiss is a kiss [...] if I’m kissing you it’s because it’s practice for the real thing.”

Alison & Emily

However, in “Miss Me × 100” (s05e05), Alison asked if she could stay in Emily’s bedroom, because her dad was working late, and she didn’t want to go home to an empty house. In addition, Alison informed Emily, “Those kisses just weren’t for practice.” After Emily confirmed with her mom that it was okay for Alison to spend the night, while in bed, Emily aked, “Ali? Are you asleep?” Subsequently, the teens kissed passionately. And fans assumed that they had lipstick lesbian sex! Interestingly, this teen lesbian sex scene was cut from to a student-teacher sex scene with a topless, and presumed bottomless, Aria in the cowgirl position astride Ezra.

There you have it, Alison was a teleiophile who had her first age-gap affair at 14 when she had unprotected sex, multiple times, with an over 30-year-old police officer, and she was a lipstick lesbian. Yet, this raises some questions: Why did the Pretty Little Liars writers make Alison have three age-gap relationships when she had zero in the novels? And why were there multiple references to nympholepsy in the series?  The allure of nymphets.