From the NY Times to Podcasts and A-List Celebrities: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex?!

Back in 2022, we wrote about the New York Times Magazine THE ETHICIST piece “My Daughter Is Having Sex With Her Best Friend. Must I Tell Her Mom?” (March 22, 2022) The piece is about a mother who needs advice, because her teen daughter is having girl-on-girl sex during sleepovers with her best friend.

Here's part of the question submitted to THE ETHICIST:

My daughter is in a newly romantic relationship with her best friend, who is also female. Both are in their midteens. My daughter recently confided in me that they have had sex. She insists, however, that I am not allowed to tell the friend’s mother, because the mother wouldn’t let them have sleepovers or hang out as much. My ex-husband is the one who hosts the sleepovers, and he looks the other way when they are in the bedroom, reasoning that (or so my daughter tells me), “It’s OK because there are no penises involved.” [...] Are my ex-husband’s actions egregious? Name Withheld

We decided to revisit the New York Times piece after we listened to the “My First Time (with a woman)” episode of the Becca Moore podcast. On the podcast, Moore shared that during middle school sleepovers, she and her friends would “sit in a circle and all make out with each other.” Moore shared:

Like, honestly, in middle school we used to, like, sit in a circle and all make out with each other. And no boys would be around. I don't really know why we were doing that, but I did love those sleepovers. That was fun.

By high school, Moore and her girls were still making out, but by high school boys were present during the sleepovers. Consequently, the making out wasn’t for pleasure anymore but for entertainment. Moore shared:

And then when I got to high school, we would have sleepovers and make out, like, play spin the bottle but boys would be there. And it was kind of, like, a little bit, I will say, the high school one, was a little bit performative.

I think that we were not really, like, turned on. We were only doing it because boys were watching, and I think we thought that it was hot for them to watch - at least from my perspective. I think I was more so thinking about the boys and than the girls.

Miley Cyrus (13)

Speaking of middle-school girl-on-girl sex and podcasts, Miley Cyrus shared with Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast (August 13, 2020) that when Cyrus was a pre-teen she had a girl-on-girl orgy, which Cooper referred to as “amazing”.

Miley Cyrus with Alex Cooper

Cyrus: "Yeah, when I was like 11 or 12 [...] I got most of my girlfriends to hook up with me."

Cooper: "That is such an amazing [thing]. That's amazing!"

Cyrus: "The first time I ever hooked up with anyone was with a girl. Two of them."

Cooper: "And did you go past first base?"

Cyrus: "Yeah! Oh yeah!"

Cooper: "Miley's like, 'Of course. Oh my God. Absolutely.'"

Jessica Simpson (13) 

Jessica Simpson shared in her memoir, Open Book, that she had pre-teen girl-on-girl sex, from the age of 6 to 12, with a family friend. Of course, the sex happened during sleepovers. Simpson wrote:

It would start with tickling my back [...]

Eventually it wasn't just at nighttime. She would get me to go into a closet with her, or just find a way to linger until we were alone. It got to the point that she would sneak into the bathroom to watch me shower.

In addition, Simpson confessed to People that she was “very shameful”, because she initiated girl-on-girl sex during sleepovers with her family friend as well:

“I allowed it to happen, so I felt that I was as much of the abuser as the abused. So I was very shameful during that time, from 6 to 12 years old.”

Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Trident Press, 1973) is an international bestselling “groundbreaking” collection of women's fantasies. (Interestingly, Friday’s husband was Norman Pearlstein - the editor-in-chief of Time, Inc.) In the book, several women shared their middle school girl-on-girl sexual escapes during sleepovers.

Clarissa shared that she remembers when she and her friend were caught masturbating with candles when they were 12.

Marina began to be aware of men at the age of 9 or 10 and thought about them while she masturbated; however, Marina only had "a vague idea of what lovemaking was" until she met her friend, a 10-year-old Mediterranean girl. Marina and the Mediterranean nymphet used to sit at opposite ends of the bathtub and pour warm water from a Russian silver teapot all over their clitorises while caressing their bodies "with infallible, instinctive verve."

Celia shared that when she was about 8, she used to bully her: "[...] friend into playing games where we had to pretend to take off our clothes and the 'wicked man' would make us walk in the street [...]" In addition, Celia confessed that when she was 10, she wanted to be a stripper and that she had "intimate contact" with her girlfriend.

And when Alison was 14, she had an "[...] unusual relationship with a close girlfriend." For example, Alison's girlfriend would dress her in a sexy bikini made of chiffon scarves, before she pretended that she was a "rowdy seaman" and raped Allison.

Of course, pre-teen girl-on-girl sex is restricted to sleepovers. For example, Liara Roux shared in her memoir, Whore of New York: A Confession (Repeater Books, 2021), that she had pre-teen girl-on-girl sex with the "very beautiful" Melissa. In the 5th grade. Outdoors. In the woods. During a youth retreat. In the Catskills. Roux wrote:

One day, when we were walking to whatever activity was next, she asked me if I wanted to skip it [...] As we got further away from the camp, she stepped off the trail. I followed her. We wandered through the trees, and I tripped over a rock hidden under the snow.

We got to a clearing and she plopped on the ground, then started making a snow angel. “What about your pants?” I asked. “Won’t they get wet?” [...] “They already are.” I blushed at the implication. Seeing my flushed face, she stood up, walked to me, and kissed me [...] I couldn’t hold myself back. I kissed her, putting my hands around her neck, pulling her in.

[...] I pressed myself against her and we fell in the snow [...] I rolled on top of her, kissed her again [...] She wiggled, unzipping her coat, unzipping mine, and our hands were on each other’s chests, grasping at softness. I kissed her neck; she moaned and put my breast in her mouth [...] After much maneuvering, she pulled off her glove and stuck her hand down my pants. The chill of her fingertips pressing into me.

We walked back to camp, our faces flushed.

Unsurprisingly, pre-teen girl-on-girl sex isn’t limited to nonfiction. For example, in Lolita, Lolita confessed to Humbert Humbert that she had pre-teen “sapphic diversions” with Elizabeth Talbot - Lolita’s tent-mate at summer camp. Nabokov wrote:

Her astounding tale started with an introductory mention of her tent-mate of the previous summer, at another camp, a “very select” one as she put it. That tent-mate (“quite a derelict character,” “half-crazy,” but a “swell kid”) instructed her in various manipulations. At first, loyal Lo refused to tell me her name.

“Well,” she said. “[...] her name was Elizabeth Talbot, she goes now to a swanky private school, her father is an executive.”

I recalled with a funny pang the frequency with which poor Charlotte [Lolita’s mother] used to introduce into party chat such elegant tidbits as “when my daughter was out hiking last year with the Talbot girl.”

I wanted to know if either mother learned of those sapphic diversions?

“Gosh no,” exhaled limp Lo mimicking dread and relief, pressing a falsely fluttering hand to her chest.

"Miller’s Girl" (2024) | Winnie Seduces Mr. Fillmore

And most recently in the film Miller’s Girl (2024), that was written and directed by a woman, Cairo (Jenna Ortega) and Winnie decided to sext Mr. Fillmore - their high school’s physics teacher and baseball coach. 

"Miller’s Girl" (2024) | Cairo and Winnie Sext Mr. Fillmore

In the sext, the schoolgirls are engaged in girl-on-girl kissing, which, per Winnie, is what all girls do when they’re alone at night. 

Cairo said to Winnie, “You should tell him [via sext] you’re with me. And that we’re doing what all girls do when they’re alone at night.”

Mr. Fillmore texted: And what might that be?

Cairo said to Winnie, “[Tell him] [w]e are measuring the depths of our sexuality within the safe confines of our friendship.”

Lastly, the naive (e.g., feminists) would have you believe that (pre) teens engaged in girl-on-girl sex is the sole idea of dirty old men (i.e., porn directors and authors of sleaze), but clearly that’s not the case. And we won’t even (fully) mention the news reports that report that it’s not uncommon for girls to livestream their sleepovers. For example, Alexandra S. Levine posted on Forbes "How TikTok Live Became ‘A Strip Club Filled With 15-Year-Olds’" (Apr 27, 2022). As Moore said, schoolgirls consider it hot for males to watch. In addition, per Levine, teen girls do it for likes, followers and gifts.