Wednesday, July 29, 2020

NEW YORK TIMES & THE NEW YORKER | YES, G_D, YES (2019): Catholic Schoolgirl Teen Masturbation



Interestingly, the New York Times and The New Yorker published reviews for Yes, God, Yes (2019) - a masturbatory (Catholic) teen comedy.

Jeannette Catsoulis summarized in her Times review, "‘Yes, God, Yes’ Review: Sin and Sensuality" (July 23, 2020):

In the masturbation comedy “Yes, God, Yes” [...] Alice (Natalia Dyer), a 16-year-old virgin and na├»ve Catholic high schooler, embarks on the road to solitary orgasm with more persistence than luck.


Primed by multiple VHS viewings of the sex scene in “Titanic,” Alice is experiencing urges she’s unsure how to satisfy. Experiments with a vibrating cellphone and an inadvertent dip into a cheesy AOL chat room (the movie’s setting is the early aughts) are frustratingly interrupted. 

At school, she’s plagued by a nasty rumor of her involvement in a mystifying sex act, and a faculty that aggressively polices impure thoughts.


Alice began masturbating after HairyChest1956@aol.com sent her some "saucy pics" of him and his wife. Curiously, Catsoulis of the Times and Richard Brody of The New Yorker didn't seem to have an issue with a man sending "saucy pics" to a nymphet. Oh well...

The rumor that was spread about Alice at her Catholic high school was that she tossed Wade's salad in a sauna. Alice didn't know what that meant; so, she asked a older lesbian. Alice, “Do you know what tossing someone’s salad is? Lesbian, “It means licking someone’s butt hole.” 


Alice masturbated the second time via serendipity while on a high school retreat. Alice discovered, while playing Snake on her phone, that a vibrating phone can feel good. Consequently, Alice placed the phone between her legs and masturbated to orgasm.


Alice's phone was taken by Nina, a teen camp counselor, but that didn't stop Alice from masturbating. After Alice spied Nina performing oral sex in the woods, Alice vibrated with a broom stick. 


Lastly, after Alice indirectly informed Father Murphy that she caught him masturbating to porn, Alice went home and masturbated to the sex scene in Titanic - first with her hand and then with a vibrating handheld mini massager. 


In addition to being a masturbatory teen comedy, Yes, God, Yes is an anti-religion film. Brody wrote in the "What To Stream" section of the The New Yorker (AUG 3 & 10, 2020): "Religious repression gets satirized incisively [in Yes, God, Yes]. 

And Brody wrote: "But, at home, the naturally curious Alice explores Internet chat room in quest of knowledge and pleasure." Thereby, agreeing with Judith Levine of Harmful to Minors that nymphets are naturally sexual. 



Lastly, Catsoulis and Brody failed to mention that there's a 2017 short movie version of Yes, God, Yes, which happens to be on YouTube; however, the short version contains only one teen masturbation scene sans vibrators. 


Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Jeffrey Epstein's Spotify Playlist: "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" | Lolita Isn't Allowed to "Play with Boys"



The title of Meghan Morris' Business Insider piece, "We found Jeffrey Epstein's social-media accounts. On Spotify, his tastes ranged from Louis C.K. to songs like 'Before You Accuse Me' and 'Hot for Teacher.'" (Aug 22, 2019), shows that even news outlets use the allure of nymphets as clickbait. 

In the piece's title and in the text of the post, Morris stated, in terms of Epstein's playlist, his "tastes ranged" and were "wildly varied". Thus, why put 'Hot for Teacher' in the title of the post with a photograph of Epstein in front of a chalkboard. 


Firstly, "Hot for Teacher" is a Van Halen song about a male student who is hot for a female teacher. And secondly, the photograph isn't from when Epstein taught, without a B.Ed. or even a B.A., at The Dalton School. 

However, per Business Insider, Epstein's Spotify playlist did include "My Heart Belongs to Daddy," which is a song about "The Daddy Thing". Although, it was oddly Oscar Peterson's performance of the song and not Mary Martin's version or even Marilyn Monroe's. 


Per Life (Dec 19, 1938), "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" was originally performed by Mary Martin in musical Leave It to Me!  (1938). Martin played Dolly Winslow - the young mistress of a rich newspaper publisher (i.e., Daddy). At the end of the, provocative at the time, striptease slash song, Winslow, to the delight of the surrounding Siberian men, dropped her fur coat to reveal a "bikini". 

Per Wikipedia, Marilyn Monroe performed "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" in the film Let's Make Love (1960) where she introduced herself as Lolita who is not allowed to "play with boys".


Here is Marilyn Monroe's version of "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" with one of the sexual innuendo's highlighted:

While tearing off a game of golf
I may make a play for the caddy
But when I do, I don't follow through
Cause my heart belongs to Daddy

If I invite a boy some night
To dine on my fine food and haddie [i.e., fish i.e., vagina]
I just adore, his asking for more
But my heart belongs to Daddy

Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
So I simply couldn't be bad
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy

So I want to warn you laddie
Though I know that you're perfectly swell
That my heart belongs to Daddy
Cause my Daddy, he treats it so well

While tearing off a game of golf
I may make a play for the caddy
But when I do, I don't follow through
Cause my heart belongs to Daddy

If I invite a boy some night
To cook up some hot…




Thursday, July 23, 2020

VOGUE | JAPAN: Nude Teen Kaia Gerber


Here's an excerpt from the post GIRL MODEL (2012): Model Scout, "I Think of Young Girls [as] Beauty":

In Girl Model (2012), a documentary about the pipeline of early-teen Siberian models to Japan, Ashley, an American model scout for Japanese based Switch Models, said referring to Nadya, a tall, skinny, flat chested, thirteen-year-old blonde from Serbia: 

“They love skinny girls in Japan. And she has a fresh young face. She looks young - almost like a prepubescent girl … [The modeling] business is obsessed with youth, and especially my business from Japan. You can't be young enough and youth is beautiful, because there’s the luminosity. There's something in the skin. There's something innocent. And that's what my eye has been trained to see from Japan; so, I look at beauty and I think of young girls [as] beauty."


Thus, it's no surprise that Vogue Japan displayed 18-year-old Kaia Gerber on the cover of the September 2020 issue. 

If you don't subscribe to Vogue Japan, Luigi and Iango, the fashion photography duo, has kindly posted the nude photographs of  Kaia on their Instagram account. 


I suspect that Vogue Japan and Luigi and Iango gained a number of new followers via the allure of a nude nymphet, and we suspect that Kaia was paid well.

Kaia thoughtfully posted on her Instagram account:

@voguejapan september cover by @luigiandiango !! thank you to everyone who made my last job before quarantine the best I could ask for. it’s hard not to miss working when I get to be surrounded by so many talented people. Luigi & Iango, I love you both so dearly ❤️ THANK YOU!



MEL Magazine & Sexplainer: PreTeen Jacuzzi Masturbation


Teen Vogue has been using the allure of masturbating nymphets to drive traffic to their site and now Mel Magazine is using the strategy. 

Ian Lecklitner posted the article "Why Pressing Your Junk Against a Jacuzzi Jet is a Sexual Rite of Passage: This One Goes Out to my First Love, a Gentle but Captivating Jacuzzi Jet" on MEL Magazine where he wrote that it's not unusual for children to use a Jacuzzi to masturbate - to orgasm. And that it "makes complete sense" physiologically: 

"Realizing that jacuzzi jets can be used as masturbatory devices is nothing out of the ordinary for children (or adults, for that matter). There are many others like me, who were awakened to their capacity for pleasure by the jets in some otherwise unremarkable hot tub."

"All of this suggests that we have a thing for heated, rushing water, and we frequently come upon that thing at a young age. Physiologically, our interest in using jacuzzi jets as masturbatory devices makes complete sense."

“Vibrations are rhythmic movements that are relaxing and soothing,” explains Sheila Loanzon, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist. “[...] it can feel comforting at repetitive frequencies of vibration. This sensory input can be calming to the nervous system, giving people the ability to relax the mind and body, and reach orgasm easily [...] Easing tension does allow for orgasm.”


To give an IRL example, Lecklitner linked to "When Kids Discover the Hot Tub Jets (or Setting Rules for Masturbating in the Jacuzzi." on Sexplainer - a website for "Helping you raise sexually intelligent kids". 

In the post, a "sex smart parent" asked about her preteen daughters whom masturbate to orgasm via "the jets" at the pool: 

Last summer [...] my 5 and 8 year old girls discovered “the jets” at the pool and have been masturbating till orgasm. They are quite vocally eager to go swimming/bathe every night! And often are cozying up to jets when we have company over [...] How do I explain the appropriate where and whens of this type of activity without resorting to traditional lame excuses? [...] especially for my very loving 8 year old who wants to share her discovery with the world! [...]

Here's a summary of Marnie's reply:

"First of all, good on your kids for finding their clits and good for you for staying sex-positive [...] Your daughters discovered something good. That’s awesome. I think the goal here can be to help contain your kids’ unbridled enthusiasm for this newfound pleasure [...] you want to keep them safe and because you don’t want other people to feel uncomfortable. Both are legitimate and real. The goal isn’t to stop the pleasure or make them feel shame."

"A couple of things you could do:

1) Let them know that touching or rubbing their genitals or letting the jets touch or rub their genitals and the feeling it causes is perfectly healthy;

2) Explain that it’s also a private activity since our genitals are private;

3) Explain that while it’s ok to do it privately, it’s generally not ok to talk about it with friends or people outside the family [...] we ought to keep conversations on the topic at home,"

Thanks for the advice Marnie...

And at least one TikTok teen shared her joy of jacuzzi jet masturbation.




Saturday, July 18, 2020

Reaction: Kaia Gerber & Charlotte Lawrence MY DARK VANESSA Instagram Book Discussion

Kaia Gerber & Charlotte Lawrence

Kaia Gerber, whom I commend for her outstanding show of support for the #BlackLivesMatter civil rights movement, is an 18-year-old  supermodel and the daughter of former supermodel Cindy Crawford. 

Since The Q began, Kaia has been hosting book club discussions on her Instagram account. Her most recent discussion (July 17, 2020) was about Elizabeth Russell's My Dark Vanessa, and Kaia's guest was 20-year-old singer-songwriter Charlotte Lawrence. 

Here's part of Amazon's plot summary for My Dark Vanessa:

"My Dark Vanessa is an exploration of the repercussions of a March/December relationship between a teacher [42-year-old Jacob Strane] and his student [15-year-old Vanessa] [...] but in her mind the story is about her first love and their all-consuming passion."

Kaia and Charlotte began the discussion by praising My Dark Vanessa:

Charlotte: "Oh my God. It was amazing. It was so sad though."
Kaia: "I know."
Charlotte: "It's my favorite type of book too. It's modern, but it talks about, you know, issues that have been around forever [...] it was really interesting. Like, this easily happened yesterday but also 100 years ago."
Kaia: "These issues have been happening forever [...]"

Kaia's first direct question about the novel was, "Did you feel a sense of frustration in the moments when you feel Vanessa trying to justify the relationship." Charlotte replied, "Oh my God, completely you're like screaming at her [...] 

Charlotte went on to say, "It was a world wind of emotions because, like, it's so sad. Like, this poor girl is so young and she just doesn't understand it yet [...]"

Then Charlotte stated, "Also, it's like she herself doesn't even, you know, realize that she's a "victim"." (Interestingly, Charlotte subconsciously made air quotes upon saying "victim".)

Kaia and Charlotte opined that Vanessa is the victim, because after Strane touched her knee, complimented her poetry, and gave her a copy of Lolita, Vanessa lost all self-control, was completely seduced, and she could not resist the urge to surprise her English teacher with a kiss. However, Vanessa said, "I have the power. Power to make it happen. Power over him. I was an idiot for not realizing this sooner." Possibly, that's why Charlotte made air quotes when she referred to Vanessa as the "victim". And Vanessa asked, rhetorically, if the nymphet in an illegal age-gap relationship should, "[...] share some of the blame, too?"

Charlotte Lawrence & Kaia Gerber 

But twenty-five minutes into the book discussion, Kaia and Charlotte appeared to make contradictory statements about Vanessa's experience:

Kaia: "This (i.e., teacher-student and age-gap relationships) has been happening forever [...] and each experience is unique to the girl involved [...] no one can tell you how to feel or react."

Charlotte emphatically agreed, "No. No one can tell you what's traumatic for you. What like, you know, no one can tell you how you feel. And it's only you. How you went through that journey. How you choose to handle it [...]"

But one of the novel's motifs is that Vanessa had to be convinced that she was a "victim" - using Charlotte's air quotes. And Kaia and Charlotte expressed frustration with Vanessa for (initially) not agreeing with them that she was a victim. So, if "No one can tell you what's traumatic for you," why were Charlotte and Kaia flabbergasted by Vanessa.

Kaia and Charlotte acknowledged that Strane was "smarter" and "wiser" than Vanessa. And consequently, Strane was able to use "psychological grooming" to seduce his high school student, but "psychological grooming" by a smarter or wiser partner is not exclusive to teacher-student relationships or specific to age-gap relationships. 17-year-old boys psychologically groom 17-year-old girls every semester. And vice-versa. 

Pretty Little Liars' Aria and Mr. Fitz

And if I were a betting man and didn't live in The Big Apple, I would bet the farm that Kaia and Charlotte didn't opine that Pretty Little Liars' Aria was a victim in her sexual relationship with Mr. Fitz - Aria's high school English teacher. And I would imagine that it didn't hurt that Aria insisted that the affair continue after Mr. Fitz attempted to end it; ergo, there appears to be a strong negative correlation between victimhood and the hotness of the teacher (i.e., as the hotness of the teacher goes up, the level of victimhood goes down.)

Admittedly, I was surprised by Kaia's choice to invite Charlotte to the My Dark Vanessa discussion, but it turns out that Charlotte was involved in her own age-gap affair, which was the inspiration for "Everybody Loves You" - a song The [Dixie] Chicks covered on their new album.

Charlotte Lawrence and Charlie Puth 

Per Capital FM, "The UK's No.1 Hit Music Station", when Charlotte was 18, she was involved in an age-gap affair with Charlie Puth - a then 27-year-old singer-songwriter.


Here are some of the lyrics to "Everybody Loves You" from Young:

I am so tired, I have to tame my mind before I get too frustrated
Can't go back in time to change in someone's eyes
That I was not something to play with

It's my body and I'm trying to hate you 'cause I want to
It's my body and I'm trying to while everybody loves you
It's my body and I'm trying to forgive you, I don't want to
It's my body and it hates you, why does everybody love you?
Why does everybody love you?
They don't know enough about you
Do they know that I regret you?
Do they know I shouldn't have to?
Why does everybody love you?
They don't know enough about you
Do they know that I regret you?
Do they know I shouldn't have to?

Charlotte shared with Kaia the following about the inspiration for "Everybody Loves You":

"I wrote the song about, you know, an experience I had that - that was inappropriate and traumatizing and bad. And for awhile I always justified it and always thought that I was being crazy and it was okay because, you know, he was so popular and cool. Everybody loved him, and it was amazing. And, I don't know. One day I just woke up, and I was like, "No, that wasn't okay."

Once again, Charlotte's missing the point. A "popular" and "cool" person whom "everybody loved", can be immensely attractive to anyone - regardless of the age differences.

Kaia Gerber and Pete Davidson

In addition to Charlotte's age-gap affair, earlier this year, 18-year-old Kaia dated Pete Davidson - the 26-year-old Saturday Night Live comedian.

Which raises some clarifying questions. After experiencing age-gap relationships, are Charlotte and Kaia against all age-gap relationships? If not, in their opinions, what's the proper age gap? And what is that age-gap number based on? Science? Anecdotal evidence? Conjecture? 


Lastly, My Dark Vanessa may be a cautionary tale, but it's additionally entertainment that illustrates the allure of nymphets. Case in point pages seven and eight where Vanessa, years after their affair, requested Strane, "[....] give me a memory, something I can slip into." After Vanessa turned onto her stomach and shoved a pillow between her legs to masturbate, Strane reminisced about when he performed oral sex on Vanessa: "in the office behind his classroom". Vanessa was: "[...] fifteen and naked from the waist down, sprawled on the couch [...]" Strane added, "[...] I remember once you bit down on your bottom lip so hard, you started to bleed, but you wouldn't let me stop."

A full analysis of My Dark Vanessa is forthcoming.





Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Famous Ephebophile: Peter Arno | The NEW YORKER Cartoonist and the Nymphet Debutantes

Peter Arno and a young model in his (dining-room) studio (1949).

We shared in The Allure of Nymphets that J.D. Salinger was enraged  after he learned that Oona O'Neill, the love of his life, left him for Charlie Chaplin. O'Neill married 50-year-old Chaplin only days after her 18th birthday.

"You cad! You're not fit to touch the hem of her skirt." 
"Please sir! This isn't my table."

But before O'Neill married Chaplin, she dated Peter Arno - the New Yorker cartoonist and (open) nympholept. 

Ben Schwartz wrote in his Vanity Fair feature “The Double Life of Peter Arno, *The New Yorker’*s Most Influential Cartoonist” (APRIL 5, 2016): 

“In 1942, [38-year-old Peter] Arno dated his last “Debutante of the Year,” Oona O’Neill, 17-year-old daughter of Eugene O’Neill and future wife of Charlie Chaplin. “Oona only slept with two men before she married Chaplin,” says her biographer, Jane Scovell—“Peter Arno and Orson Welles. She was looking for older men [...]”  

"Do you have the same thing in a cook?" 
"Gee, Mr. Payson! Mere words can't express my appreciation - I guess."

And Schwartz shared that prior to O'Neill, 34-year-old Arno dated 17-year-old Brenda Diana Duff Frazier - the original celebutante.

But despite Arno's highly publicized age-gap affairs, he was more famous for his cartoons that often depicted old(er) men with lovely young women. 

"Why, George Carter! What keeps you in town?"
"Good Lord, Hawkins! You might at least have said, 'Ahem'!"


Saturday, July 11, 2020

PALO ALTO (2013): Teen (Outdoor) Oral, Teen Orgies, and Teacher-Student Affairs


IMDb posted a brief plot summary for Palo Alto (2013): The life and struggles of a group of adolescents living in Palo Alto.

No worries. We'll provide some details. The film is based on James Franco's Palo Alto: Stories but, per the credits, it was written and directed by Gia Coppola. Coppola relied heavily on the novel for the dialogue but, taking advantage of the allure of nymphets, she took some liberties with some of the scenes. 


In the opening scene, Fred asked Teddy what he would do if he could go back in time. Teddy replied that he would be a king, "And I’d fuck every virgin in the kingdom."


A little over a minute later, the following conversation took place among the stretching coed soccer players:

Chrissy: "Oh, I’m so wet. Not in a good way, either. Mr. B’s [her teacher and soccer coach (James Franco)] a hottie though."

Shauna: "Fuck, I know. Too bad he wants to get in with April."

Chrissy: "I’d go for it if I were you."

April: "Guys, that’s so awkward. I babysit his kid."

Shauna: "So?"

Chrissy wagered: "I bet he makes a really ugly face when he comes."


In one of her first deviations from the book and taking advantage of the allure of nymphets, at the 7:16 mark in the film, Coppola decided to have April (Emma Roberts) dance on a bed in a satin mini chemise. April bounced upon the bed seductively while she raised her mini slip and lowered a strap to fully expose her bra. 



Like in the book, the teens played Never Have I Ever, but in the book, the game revealed that Emily had sex at school and that she had a threesome and and foursome. However, in the film, Shauna described how to play Never Have I Ever:


“You just say, “Never Have I Ever and then if you’ve done the thing you have to drink [...] Um, never have I ever given Seth Monkarsh a blowjob during free period in the senior parking lot.”

“Drink up, Chrissy.”

After Chrissy drank, she said, “Okay fine, my turn. Um, hmm. Never have I ever kissed my uncle.”

To which Shauna said slyly before she drank from her red plastic cup, “Are you fucking serious? That was private.”


The game revealed that Chrissy participated in a teen "lesbianic experience" as well. But Chrissy's blowjob in the senior parking lot and her teen lipstick lesbian "experience" and Shauna's incestuous kiss were not in the book. Why did Coppola add those to the film? That's a rhetorical question.


However, in the book and the film, Emily gave Teddy a blowjob in the bedroom of Shauna's parents. Poolside the next day, Chrissy shared, “Emily blew Teddy last night in your parent’s bedroom.” To which Shauna replied, “She will suck any dick that anyone puts in her face.” (To clarify, Teddy didn't put his d_ck in Emily's face. Emily put Teddy's d_ck in her face."



In another interesting deviation from the book, “Cock 4 dayz” was "written" in those preschool magnetic letters on an appliance in Shauna's house. Why?


While babysitting, April said to Michael - Mr. B’s son, “Come on, enough of this [video] game. Let’s watch a movie.” Michael said, “I don’t think I’m allowed to watch this movie [i.e., Fast Times at Ridgemont High ].” Subsequently, a topless teen on the screen elicited a “Whao” from the elementary school aged Micheal.


After another babysitting session, Mr. B kissed April.

“I really like you.” Mr. B confessed.

“I really like you.” April confessed.

“Yeah but, I’m older and I know that there aren’t a lot of good things around, and I know you are really good.” Mr. B said to which April responded by returning his kiss. 



In another scene that wasn't in the book, Coppola directed Fred to push Emily down by the shoulders and demand, “Tell me you love me,” before Emily gave him a blowjob in her parent’s backyard. 


However, the following voice-over from that scene is from the book:


Emily didn’t have any friends [...] The only person she knew was me [...] One afternoon we went to Jason King’s house [...] Jason’s parents were gone [...] We were drinking sodas and vodka and smoking pot. [...] I got her into Jason’s parents’ bed and got her naked. The guys lined up outside the bedroom door. [...] We went in two or three at a time. Everyone fucked her [...] She gave me a blowjob. I asked if she liked it. She said she did [...] 


Back at Mr. B’s house, the following conversation took place:

April: "Why don’t you talk to me at school anymore?"

Mr. B: "You know why."

April: "Yeah, but you can at least be nice to me and not ignore me. I mean, it’s like you don’t even like me anymore."

Mr. B, committing a age-gap relationship faux pas: "Are you kidding me. April I love you."

April, perplexed: “What? That doesn’t even make sense [...] I have to go.”

Mr. B reiterated: “April I love you [...] You can say you’re babysitting all the time and come over.”

April: “I should be hanging out with boys my own age." 

Mr. B: “Why? Why do you wanna hang out with a bunch of little boys. You’re better than that. Just be with me."

But it was no use. April left. 


In the bathroom between classes, Shauna complimented Chrissy, “Your tits are seriously huge today!” Chrissy, “I know, right?” Shauna, “They look amazing.” But that dialogue was not in the book. We would love to know Coppola's inspiration.


After losing the soccer game, Mr. B consoled a crying Raquel (Margaret Qualley). “Consequently, April said, “Raquel is such a cry baby [...] I mean, do you even think she’s pretty.” Shauna opined, “Raquel? Yeah, she’s fucking gorgeous.”



Despite their previous conversation ending on a sour note, after the game, April went back to Mr. B’s where they had sex on her teacher's sofa.  


But after Micheal beat April in a Mortal Kombat match, he said, “I get two cookies, because I won.”

“Says who?”

“Raquel.”

“Raquel?”

“Raquel’s my other babysitter [...]”


Interestingly, the book inferred that Mr. B and Raquel had an age-gap affair too, but the film made it apparent. Mr. B pleaded, “Look, what happened between me and Raquel, it’s nothing, okay? [...] You broke up with me. And we weren’t talking to each other. Can I see you?”

April replied, “No. No, I’m not coming over there anymore.” Did April really mean it that time?


Lastly, there was some speculation that Franco's Instagram scandal was a publicity stunt for this film, but that doesn't appear to be true. Tom Shone of The Guardian gave the teen film 3 out of 5 starts and opined that Coppola had an "eye for cool composition". And Franco's Rabbit Bandini was the film's production company.