Tuesday, February 6, 2024

PLAN BRI UNCUT Ep 10: “A Full-Ass Hour on [Teen] Sex [...] Losing Your V-Card, Anal, Porn & Masturbating”!

Episode 10 of the Plan Bri podcast is tantalizingly titled: “A Full-Ass Hour on Sex with Alyssa Sines: Losing Your V-Card, Anal, Porn & Masturbating” (September 22, 2020)

The episode was hosted by Brianna Chickenfry. Per The Sun, Brianna, originally from Boston, was 21 when the podcast was recorded. The episode’s guest was Alyssa Sines. Per Famous Birthdays, Alyssa was 21 when the podcast was recorded as well. 

Brianna described Alyssa as super hot, Ms. Sex Queen, and a sex icon with 1.1 million followers on TikTok to whom Alyssa talked about masturbating and rough sex.

“She’s just, like, a sex icon. She’s super hot. She has 1.1 million followers. She talks about masturbating. She talks about getting her back blown out.” 

Just as the title implies, Brianna and Alyssa began by describing how and when they had sex for the first time. Brianna, “We’re gonna start off by telling our Losing Virginity Stories, because that’s where it must begin.”

Brianna shared that when she was 16, she had a party while her parents were away. Coincidentally, she desperately wanted to lose her virginity, because being a virgin made her feel like a “fucking loser”. And it didn’t help that all of her friends were not virgins. And Brianna didn’t care with whom she had sex with (for the first time).

“I was, like, at that point where I was just, like, I wanna lose my virginity. Like, I don’t even care who it is. Like, just, it needs to happen. All my friends did. And I was like, I feel like a fucking loser.”

Consequently, Brianna got “hammered” and chose a younger “random kid”. However, Brianna was disappointed with her “first time”, because the younger random kid had a thin penis. 

“His dick was like a pencil. It didn’t even hurt. That’s how bad it was. My first time didn’t even hurt. It was literally like a tampon.”

But one can infer that the younger random kid enjoyed Brianna’s first time, because he commemorated the event with a Snapchat that he titled “Just fucked!” And unbeknownst to Brianna, the younger random kid put his used condom in Brianna’s younger cousin’s bag, which she unknowingly took to school and pulled out in English class the next day. 

Shockingly, Brianna shared that that was the first and only time she has used a condom, and per Brianna, she has had a lot of sex since she was 16 - including anal

“That’s actually the only time I used a condom. I think, is that one time - losing my virginity.”

“I went through an anal phase. Like, it was, like, anal every time I had sex for, like, a very long time. And I’m glad that’s over with because, I couldn’t shit for so long [...]”

I won’t go into how Alyssa, whom shared, “I watch a lot of porn,” lost her virginity, but I will relate that she shared that she had sex behind her high school - “so much” “a lot”.

“When I was in high school, it [i.e., sex] was more fun, because you snuck around - in cars. I had sex behind my school - so much [...] Hey, teachers, I had sex behind the school a lot. Y’all probably already knew.”

Alyssa’s high school sexcapades reminded me of Andrew Trees’ novel Academy X (Bloomsbury, 2006) where Mr. John Spencer, an English teacher at the elite Academy X:  “[...] tried to avoid using any out-of-the-way stairwells in the afternoon.” Why? He didn’t want to come upon any prep school students having sex.

And straight out of a confession in Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden, which Ariel Levy, in Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, referred to as a “groundbreaking collection of women’s sexual fantasies”, Brianna and Alyssa shared that they started masturbating in middle school. 

Alyssa, “I, literally, bought my first vibrator when I was, like, 17 [...] but I feel, like, I was masturbating when I was, like, 10 or like 8.” 

Brianna, “I feel, like, I was too.”

Here’s the part of the Plan Bri episode that was most relevant to this blog. It’s not in the title, but Brianna and Alyssa discussed age-gap relationships. Brianna related that when she "18", she had “the best sex ever” with a 28-year-old whom had a penis shaped like a banana. 

Brianna, “Have you ever had, umm, sex with, like, a significant older man when you were, like, younger?” 

Alyssa, “I haven’t, like, fucked an older man. I’m, like, disappointed in myself.”

Brianna, “So when I was, for legal reasons I’m gonna say 18. I had sex with a 28-year-old. And, oh my God, it was like, the best sex ever. I feel, like, older guys. I feel, like, they know more. Because they know more.”

Brianna, “This guy, the 28-year-old guy that I fucked. His dick was like a banana. It was, like, curved [...] yeah, I still think, like, that was, like, one of the greatest sex [sic] I’ve ever had.”

Although, Alyssa related that she was “disappointed” that she had never had sex with “a significant older man”, she did share that she wanted to have sex with a 50-year-old. Why? Just because. 

“I feel like, one time, I wanna, like, fuck, a 50-year-old and just see how it is.”

Lastly, the episode was sponsored by Barstool Sports, Honey (a browser extension), and Pirate Water, but other than using the allure of nymphets to make money by getting even more advertisers, why did Brianna decide to (over) share the details of her (teen) sex life. The answer is quite simple. She was asked. 

“You guys always ask me to talk about my sex. Like my sex life, hookups - all that shit.  And I didn’t want to do it alone. And Alyssa is Ms. Sex Queen on TikTok; so, I figured let’s bring her on [...]”

[Note: Although, Brianna said, “Hey, Plan Bri listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube,” the YouTube video for the episode is not posted, and it appears that Alyssa has made all of her social media accounts  private.]

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