Monday, February 20, 2023

VELMA (2023): Nude Coolsville High Students, DILF City and Teen Lipstick Lesbians!

Per HBO Max: “Velma is an adult animated comedy series telling the origin story of Velma Dinkley, the unsung and underappreciated brains of the Scooby-Doo Mystery Inc. gang. This original and humorous spin unmasks the complex and colorful past of one of America’s most beloved mystery solvers.”

Mindy Kaling executive produced the series, and she played Velma. That news set off our nympholepsy and teleiophilia alarms, which was warranted because, about a minute into the first episode, viewers were entertained by nude nymphets showering in the Coolsville High locker room, which was followed by a nude teen catfight. (Viewers were entertained by the nude showering coeds in episode 10 as well.)

As for teleiophilia, Velma expressed her attraction to (much) older men - more than once. For example, in episode 1, after Fred showed Velma a social media post of his tall and blond father, Velma responded, “Zam, DILF city!”
Oxford Languages: DILF noun | a sexually attractive older man, typically one who has children.
Urban Diction: DILF acronym | "Dad I'd Like to F***".
Toward the end of the first episode, Velma shared that she would like to see a naked picture of LeBron. And in episode 5, in response to learning that Norville was dating Gigi, a cool girl, Velma said, “Damn, this makes me think I could bag Don Lemon.”

As for nympholepsy slash ephebophilia, in episode 2, Velma related that 18-year-old Sarah had a Sugar Daddy, and “Her parents are cool with it.”

In episode 4, at the Crystal Cove Town Hall, Velma unveiled the Top 5 Coolsville High Hot Girls to Mayor Dave whom responded, “Ooh, they are so hot. Daddy likey.”

In episode 8, Daphne shared, “But a while back, I was low-key obsessed with someone […]” What was Velma’s response? “Oh, so like me and Neil deGrasse Tyson.” And in episode 8, Gigi said, “Norville, I wanna go with you to my cabin in the woods [to have sex].” But before Norville could respond, the Coolsville High elderly and balding janitor whispered seductively, “I’ll go.”

In pop culture, nympholepsy is typically coupled with teen lipstick lesbianism. And Velma is no different, as Velma and Daphne, apparent teen bisexuals, had an on-again\off-again affair. (Interestingly, the “hot” Betty and Veronica kiss in the Riverdale pilot was referenced, which was when, in an effort to increase their chances of being picked for the cheerleading team, Veronica passionately kissed Betty in front of the cheerleading captain and her assistants.)

In addition, there were other random bits of salaciousness in the animated series. For example, in episode 1, the owner of Spooner’s Malt Shop, the town’s most popular diner, shared the secret to the diner’s success with Velma: “Just good food, great tunes. And I let teens have sex in the bathroom.”

In episode 6, Daphne and her father dined at Nana’s Nipples - a strip club where Velma’s father pleaded, “Velma please. Can’t a father and daughter just enjoy a nice meal at a strip club without it being awkward?” Subsequently, to the onlookers dismay and despite a neon sign that read 18+ Only, Daphne took to the stripper pole. And in episode 3, while visiting Fred in prison, Velma lifted her fountains and asked Norville, “Is it obvious I have two bean bags in my bra?”

Despite its repeated use of the allure of nymphets for streams, Velma received a measly 41% Average Tomatometer and a 7% Average Audience Score; however, it was (somehow) renewed for second season.

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