Famous Age-Gap Couple: Johnny Depp (61) and Russian model Yulia Vlasova (28)

The Daily Mail posted the exclusive: “Johnny Depp's new girlfriend REVEALED: Actor dating 28-year-old Russian beautician and model Yulia Vlasova” [...] (15 July 2024) In the piece, Karen Ruiz and Will Stewart wrote that Depp met Yulia in 2021 when she was 25 at the 55th Karlovy Vary International Film Festival.

Yulia and Depp Leaving London Heliport

And earlier this year, during an Instagram Q&A, Yulia was asked to share her favorite actor. She replied, with a photo of the age-gap couple resting their hands on each other's leg: “JD [Johnny Depp]. He is a man who is incredibly talented and inspiring.” Ruiz and Stewart posted:

Yulia and Depp Resting Their Hands on Each Other's Leg

It's no wonder Johnny Depp is in such shipshape these days.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star, 61, has moved on with a new younger blonde - two years after his high-profile defamation trial following his bitter divorce from Amber Heard [...]

Yulia (28) and Depp (61)

The Hollywood star is now dating 28-year-old Russian beautician and model, Yulia Vlasova, who has been spotted hanging out with the actor in recent years after meeting in 2021.

 

Lily-Rose Depp (15)

 

Interestingly, Yulia is a few years older than Lily-Rose Depp, Depp's daughter, whom, at the age of 15, was was hired as the face of Chanel eyewear.

Famous Age-Gap Couple: Spider-Man and the Influencer | Tobey Maguire (49) and Lily Chee (20)

OutrageousTeacher955 posted the question on Reddit’s r/NYCinfluencersnark: “Lily Chee with Tobey Maguire?!” Why the exclamation point? Maguire is 49 and Chee’s 20. 

And Sara Whitman posted on Page Six: “Tobey Maguire, 49, sparks dating rumors with model Lily Chee, 20, at Michael Rubin’s white party”. 

The famous age-gap dating rumor is due to Maguire’s hand placement upon Chee’s lower back, which was in a “form-fitting white midi dress that featured spaghetti straps, [and] a high slit”. And they appeared to be leaving the party together. Whitman wrote:

Tobey Maguire and much-younger model Lily Chee sparked dating speculation after they were spotted leaving Michael Rubin’s famous Fourth of July white party together Thursday evening.

The “Spider-Man” star, 49, appeared to have his hand near the 20-year-old’s lower back to guide her out as they exited the star-studded shindig.

Chee, for her part, showed off her fit figure in a form-fitting white midi dress that featured spaghetti straps, a high slit and crisscrossed strings that held the fabric together along her right hip and upper thigh.

Tobey Maguire (49) and Lily Chee (20)

You may know Tobey Maguire from his Spider-Man fame, but who is Lily Chee?

In the Daily Mail post: “Who is Lily Chee? Tobey Maguire's, 49, rumored love interest, 20, is a young model and actress who was discovered in a grocery store” (5 July 2024), Sharon Mai related that, in addition to being a model [e.g., “Valentino, Dior, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger”] and an actress [e.g., “Marvel's Daredevil”], Chee is a student at Columbia, and she’s “[...] a content creator with a 1.5 million following on Instagram and was nominated for Best Breakout YouTuber at the Shorty Awards in 2020.”

Due to her photos in teen thongs and sheer tops, Chee’s a favorite of Reddit ephebophiles where a search of her name reveals revealing results. 

Interestingly, when Chee was about 16, she [allegedly], per an audio recording posted on Reddit, admitted to sexting CB’s nudes. In her defense, Chee [allegedly] told CB, “Really, everyone sent them honestly [...] Your [teen] nudes were sent to everyone [...] I had them [...] Like, it’s not, like, I just like, exposed you and, like, found those. Those were sent publicly [...]” Thus, like Karen of Mean Girls and Swiffer Girl, it appears that CB sexted her nudes to a schoolboy, whom shared them with the group chat.

Lastly, Whitman posted: “Maguire’s best friend [is] Leonardo DiCaprio — who is notorious for also dating young models and actresses [...]”, which we elaborated on in the blog post: “Leo DiCaprio & Camila Morrone Have Split & FYI: DiCaprio Doesn't Date Over 25”.

Viral TikTok Song: Eliza McLamb's "[Teen] Porn Star Tits"

We learned from Lena Geller’s IndyWeek piece “Talking with Eliza McLamb About Farming, TikTok Fame, and Playing a Hometown Show” (12/14/2022) that Eliza McLamb, a singer-songwriter, podcaster and Substacker, is considered a “Generation Z mouthpiece”, which is due to McLamb's song “Porn Star Tits'' that went viral on TikTok in 2020 when McLamb was 19. Consequently, McLamb’s music career was launched, which she's “very grateful for”.

Here’s McLamb’s “[Teen] Porn Star Tits” - in summary with the lyrics:

A 10-year-old girl was told by a man on the internet that she had porn star tits. (Note: Per the Colorado Department of Education, a 10-year-old would be in the 4th or 5th grade. And one can infer from this verse that the man was conversing with the preteen via a webcam.) The girl didn't understand what porn star tits were, but she did know that the man was “getting off” (i.e., self-gratificating). Consequently, the nymphet donned a bikini top, applied some makeup, and in an attempt to get more attention, went to a Gamestop, which is mostly patronized by boys. 

When I was ten years old, a man on the internet

Told me I had porn star tits

I didn't know what that meant

But I knew he was getting off on it

So I wore a bikini top under my v-neck

Went to the mall to try on some makeup

Walked into GameStop looking for attention

But all I got was condescension

By the 7th grade (i.e., approximately 12-years-old), the girl realized that her teen porn star tits were profoundly powerful. Consequently, in an effort to make the schoolboys be nice to her, she, à la Karen of Mean Girls and Swiffer Girl, sexted her porn star tits; however, the boys traded her nudes like Pokemon cards. 

In seventh grade, I figured out

That my porn star tits are pretty powerful

They make boys be nice to me for a week

Then they trade that shit like Pokemon cards

Swapping my body with somebody else's

That's metrically hotter than mine

How can I, a seven, compete with all these nines?

(Dude, she thinks she's a seven)

Well, I guess I could steal their boyfriends

Or I guess I could go to church

I either play the whore or Madonna and I'm not sure which one's worse

Bought a pack of Marlboro Reds

'Cause I saw on Tumblr that's a pretty girl cigarette

Smoked one thinking it made me look cool

Then I threw it all up in the girls' bathroom at school

On the weekends, the nymphet went to parties where she used her porn star tits as currency to have “mediocre [teen] sex” in a stranger’s room; however, afterward she felt empty, but she admitted that she kinda liked being able to use her sexuality as currency in exchange for attention slash sex.

And on the weekends, I show up to parties that I'm not invited to

Out of spite, I have a good attitude

Dance all night 'til I end up in someone's room

I say, "I like the way you talk to me"

He says, "I like the way you look at me

Hey, by the way, if we sleep together

Tomorrow I'll act like I don't remember"

And that's when it dawned on me

That my porn star tits are pretty good currency

For mediocre sex and a feeling of total fucking emptiness

I mean, didn't I ask for it a little bit

In some strange way, I kinda like it

That voice in my head telling me, "Good girl, it's working, isn't it"

Isn't it? Fuck

And the teen related that she could deal with feeling “disembodied” - as long as she had a “bangin'” body that could get her recognition on Instagram (i.e., likes and a DM). 

If I have to feel so disembodied, the body better be bangin'

It's gotta be the type to get me a few likes

On Instagram and a DM that says "slut"

McLamb Explained "Porn Star Tits"

McLamb explained “Porn Star Tits” in a TikTok where she said that a lot of young girls are hypersexual, because it’s rewarding and “truly validating”. And she strongly disagreed with feminists whom say that young girls aren’t sexual. McLamb countered that teens “do act sexually”, because they yearn to be validated as “desirable “object[s]” :

“A lot of girls become hypersexual at a young age - not because of daddy issues or because of some deeper narcissistic wound of ego but because that behavior is rewarded by your culture. And it is truly validating.”

“I  became disillusioned with a lot of feminist discussions around this issue because it didn’t make sense to me. They say, “Young girls don’t like to be objectified. Young girls aren’t sexual. You’re sexualizing them.”

“But that didn’t make sense to me. Young girls do act sexually. Young girls do seek validation based on their status as a desirable ‘object’” 

Lastly, Sloan Pecchia posted on Uproxx: “Eliza McLamb Is Leaving TikTok Behind For Something Deeper On ‘Going Through It’ (January 24, 2024). In the piece, McLamb confessed that even though she has distanced herself from “Porn Star Tits”, which by 2023 had been streamed approximately four million times, she strategically included it on Memos, her first EP. #teensexsells Unsurprisingly, it worked. 

McLamb’s first EP, Memos, featured her most commercially successful song to date, “Porn Star Tits.” This song in particular had gone viral on TikTok when she first wrote it in 2020, but when deciding what songs to include on the track listing, it was not at the top of the list. However, it seemed she felt obligated to include it, as it initially helped drive her success. “I wanted to Trojan horse the rest of the work through that song, being like, ‘Okay people listened to this song. Maybe they’ll listen to the rest of it,’” McLamb explains. That tactic seems to have worked as the success of Memos [...]

Like Spotify, McLamb may have “distanced” herself from “Porn Star Tits”, but some teen TikTokers are still close to the suggestive song.  

Teen Melissa Gilbert (15) and Dean Butler (23): An Age-Gap Romance on the Prairie

Page Six posted that: “Melissa Gilbert’s mom ruined teen’s first on-screen kiss with 23-year-old actor by sobbing: New book” (June 21, 2024)

In the post, Nicki Gostin reported that 15-year-old Melissa Gilbert, whom played Laura “Half-Pint” Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie, had her first age-gap kiss with 23-year-old actor Dean Butler whom played Almanzo Wilder. 

"Sweet Sixteen" (s06e22)
Melissa Gilbert (15) and Dean Butler (23)

This kiss happened on episode “Sweet Sixteen” (s06e22) where, after Butler said lovingly, “Sweet Sixteen”, Gilbert leaned in for the kiss. 

"He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" (s06e23)
Melissa Gilbert (15) and Dean Butler (23)

And on the very next episode, “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” (s06e23), after Butler informed Gilbert’s character, “I want you to be my wife,” and Gilbert replied, “I’d love to,” they kissed again. (Note: There’s no word on how many takes the scenes took.)

Consequently, per Butler’s book, Prairie Man: My Little House Life & Beyond, Barbara Abeles, Gilbert’s mother, “loudly wept” and “[...] Michael Landon, the show’s star as well as its writer and director, had to yell ‘cut.’”

Gostin related that, unsurprisingly, Gilbert’s Jewish mother didn’t approve of Butler’s casting, because Gilbert: “[...] had just turned 15.” And Butler wrote that Abeles’: “[...] unhappiness culminated, perhaps, in not being able to bear seeing me kiss her daughter. It was a protective displeasure.” 

Dean Butler (23) and Melissa Gilbert (15)

Of their on-screen age-gap relationship, which eventually became an on-screen age-gap marriage, Butler shared that Gilbert said, “You were a man, a grown-up man with a car and an apartment. I was a really young teenager [...] I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs and I’d never even been on a date.” [Emphasis added]

Gilbert wrote about the age-gap affair in Prairie Tale, her memoir, where she titled the chapter “Oh Shit, They Got a Real Man!”. Of season 6, Gilbert wrote that even though she was a  “flat-chested fifteen-year-old who looked thirteen”, she knew that she was: “[...] going to have to show affection, kiss, and at some point go to bed with a guy [...]”

“I knew I was going to have to show affection, kiss, and at some point go to bed with a guy when in real life I was a knock-kneed, flat-chested fifteen-year-old who looked thirteen, still wore rubber bands and a retainer in her mouth, and had never gone out with, kissed, or even held hands with a boy.” [Emphasis added]

Gilbert wrote that she was “excited about the idea” and that she was “definitely excited to see who the producers chose for this all-important role [...]”, and when she found out that Dean Butler had been cast, she was: “[...] freaked out a little from nerves, but in a good way.”

In addition, Gilbert reiterated that Butler was a “grown-up man” whom “[...] shaved, drove a car, and lived in his own apartment.” Interestingly, Gilbert naively opined that she feared that Butler would be “bummed”, inconvenienced, and disappointed by the prospect of having an (on-screen) affair with a 15-year-old nymphet.

“That’s right, Dean [Butler] was a grown-up man. I looked at him as if he’d risen from Dr. Frankenstein’s lab. He was in his twenties. He shaved, drove a car, and lived in his own apartment. He must have felt so bummed upon meeting this dorky, freaked-out fifteen-year-old with peach fuzz all over her legs (I hadn’t even shaved them yet), and being told I was the one he had to fall in love with and marry. How inconvenient and disappointing for him.”

Interestingly, Gilbert wrote: “I didn’t want to kiss a man. I didn’t want to kiss anyone with stubble!” And she added: “When the time came to kiss Dean, I shut my eyes (inside, they were blank screens) and gently puckered up, letting him find the target.” 

However, a viewing of the scene revealed that Gilbert initiated the kiss. In the scene, Gilbert kept her eyes open as she stared lovingly into Butler's eyes, she leaned in as her eyes darted from Butler’s lips to his eyes, and then she closed her eyes, as most humans do - regardless of age, as they kissed. 

Of the on-screen age-gap romance, Gilbert wrote: “This was the real beginning of Laura and Almanzo’s romance, which was one of the great romances of all time.”

In response to the age-gap kiss, recall that Butler wrote that Gilbert’s mother “loudly wept”, which caused the director to yell ‘cut’, but Gilbert wrote in her memoir that after the kiss, she turned and saw her mother: “[...] standing just off camera, smiling with tears in her eyes.” In other words, crying all the way to the bank.

Lastly, recall that Gilbert related that prior to kissing Butler, she confessed that she had “never even been on a date” and that she had “never gone out with, kissed, or even held hands with a boy.” However, in a seeming contradiction, which is typical of (age-gap) memoirs, Gilbert shared that she had a “budding romance” with Micheal Landon Jr., which: “[...] hadn’t been contrived for PR purposes like so many teen romances in Hollywood.” And in fact, Gilbert’s kiss with Butler was not her first on-screen kiss. She related that she had been “[...] kissed years earlier in another episode, but it had been an innocent little peck. This was Laura’s first real kiss, one she desired [...]” [Emphasis added]

Unbreakable MEAN GIRLS: A Study of Tina Fey’s Portrayal of (Self) Sexualized Teens (Part 3)

 Regina

In the Broadway musical, during “Meet the Plastics”, Regina sang in the cafeteria that she did not have any (teen) breast implants, “AND THESE? THESE ARE REAL.” To confirm Regina’s assertion, Damian squeezed her left breast. 

Mean Girls: The Musical | Regina's Humped

And when Regina sang, “THIS WHOLE SCHOOL HUMPS MY LEG LIKE A CHIHUAHUA”, three boys surrounded Regina and simulated sex (i.e., dry humped) the stage floor and Regina’s legs. 

As it relates to Regina’s breasts, in the libretto, the ensemble merely asked about Regina’s eating habits, her fashion sense, and her dating life. 

ENSEMBLE

WHAT’S REGINA EATING? WHAT’S REGINA WEARIN’? 

IS SHE DATING AARON? 

REGINA! REGINA! 

SHE HAS EV’RYTHING”

REGINA! REGINA! REGINA! 

But during the Broadway musical, the ensemble asked about Regina’s breast size.

ENSEMBLE

WHAT’S REGINA EATING? [...] 

DID HER BOOBS GET BIGGER? 

REGINA! REGINA! SHE HAS EV’RYTHING

Subsequently, Broadway theatergoers learned from Rachel H. that Regina was, “[...] considered the prettiest girl in school.” And that Regina could be nice to her friends too. For instance, in the libretto, Regina informed Cady, “I’m gonna buy you those suede heels ‘cause you need more.” More what, you may ask? Regina opined that Cady needed more: height, style, and butt lift. 

CADY

(re: shoes in window) Cady, come here. I’m gonna buy you those suede heels ‘cause you need more.

CADY

More what?

REGINA

More shoes, more height, more style, more butt lift - trust me, more is better.

But during the Broadway musical Regina said, “Cady, look at the shoes. I’m gonna buy you those suede hills to lift your butt.” (Interestingly, the shoes were from Shameless Footwear.)

Mean Girls: The Musical | Regina's Cheeky

Due to a prank, Regina gained weight from eating Kälteen bars, which prevented her from fitting into her skirt. Consequently, she stomped around the Broadway stage in a pair of cheeky black panties before she, like Karen in the 2024 film, turned around, fully bent over, and displayed her teen fanny to the audience. (Interestingly, Regina’s panties were over a pair of nude tights that were given a “lift” with implants.)

REGINA 

This skirt won't close. Cady, these Kälteen bars suck.

CADY

No, you have to make sure you eat enough carbs to...activate them.

REGINA

(at Gretchen) Stop playing with that stupid babyish book and help me find a safety pin!

REGINA holds the skirt and stomps around in her underwear. GRETCHEN flits around looking for a pin.

Eventually, Regina stopped stomping, turned around, bent over and exposed her cheeky panties, that barely covered her vagina, to the audience. 

Mean Girls (2024) | Talent Show

In all three versions of Mean Girls, the Plastics (i.e., Cady, Gretchen, Karen, and Regina) danced seductively during the Winter Talent Show. The 2004 performance was named Jingle Bell Rock, but the Plastics in the Broadway musical and in the 2024 film performed "Rockin' Around the Pole". In all three performances, which were staged every school year, the Plastics were dressed as sexy teen Santa's Helpers, which included Santa's hats and red mini skirts. While all three performances were salacious, the Broadway performance was the most salacious, because when the “Hot Elves” sang “WE’LL ROCK THAT POLE ALL NIGHT!”, for the sixth year in a row, Regina's skirt fell off. 

Mean Girls: The Musical | Talent Show

To clarify, Regina's mini skirt fell to the Broadway stage to, once again, reveal her teen cheeky black panties. And once again, she turned around, bent over, and displayed herself to the audience. Consequently, there were "posts and memes of REGINA'S exposed butt" on social media, which were displayed on the stage's LED screens (e.g., OMG! OH…MY…, I’M feeling hungry!, and trishjshaw posted: Was that Regina’s talent? #Glutes). Consequently, Damian asked, "Was it funny when Regina bent over and it looked like her butt ate her underwear? Yes. One million percent." But to be fair, the skirts of the “Hot [teen] Elves” were so short that all of their underwear could be briefly yet clearly seen on Broadway. 

LIL BIPPY LEE (V.O.)

WE’LL ROCK THAT POLE ALL NIGHT!

Regina’s skirt falls off. 

REGINA

Aagh!

SHE bends over to pick it up. Everything freezes. JANIS and DAMIAN address the audience. 

LED screens fill with posts and memes of REGINA’S exposed butt.

DAMIAN

Was it funny when Regina bent over and it looked like her butt ate her underwear? Yes. One million percent.

We learned throughout Fey’s Mean Girls oeuvre, that Regina cheated on Aaron with Shane Oman. In the 2004 film, instead of doing SAT prep, Regina cheated on Aaron with Shane in the, “[...] projection room above the auditorium.” In the 2024 film, Regina cheated on Aaron with Shane, “[...]  in the third floor janitorial closet on the bags of sawdust that they use for barf!” However, the Broadway musical provided some detail on exactly how Regina and Shane were hooking up. On Broadway, Gretchen informed Cady that Regina was, “[...] hooking up with Shane Oman in the North Shore Lions costume!”

GRETCHEN

Also she totally cheats on Aaron. Every Thursday she says she has SAT Prep, but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the North Shore Lions costume!

CADY

She makes him wear the costume?

GRETCHEN

No, they’re both in the costume. And I never told anyone because I’m such a good friend.”

Apparently, in this context, “hooking up” meant teen sex, because an actor in a lion costume aggressively simulated having sex. And he was not alone in the custome. 

In addition, Damian divulged while singing “Where Do You Belong”, that the high school’s band members were particularly sexually active (e.g., teen oral sex and “fingering”)

DAMIAN

HERE’S THE SEX’LLY ACTIVE BAND GEEKS, 

I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU:

"EMBOUCHURE" AND "EW."

AND IF YOU LIKE BLOWING... AND FINGERING,

BAND GEEKS

THIS IS THE GROUP FOR YOU!

Mean Girls (2024) | Regina's Are Real

Just like in the Broadway musical, in the 2024 film, Regina sang, “And these are real.” Thereby, reassuring filmgoers and streamers that her teen breasts did not have any implants. However, unlike in the musical, Regina’s breast was not fondled, but after Regina opened her jacket in the high school’s cafeteria to reveal her cleavage, like Price Is Right models, Karen and Gretchen placed their hands below Regina’s breasts. Thereby, leaving no doubt about what Regina was referencing. 

Logically, the setting of the Broadway musical’s overture was in North Shore High School's auditorium where shortly after Damian welcomed the freshmen to high school, Janis directed the theatergoers to her painting of a vagina that she said represented female teenage power.

DAMIAN

Good morning! Welcome to high school.

Mean Girls: The Musical | Janis' Art

JANIS

“This painting I made will represent female teenage power.”

Thus, Janis asserted that “female teenage power” comes from the teen vagina. And in terms of Janis, we learned from the Broadway musical that Regina didn’t invite Janis to her pool party, because Regina suspected that Janis was a (teen) lesbian.

REGINA 

Janis, I can’t invite you to my pool party, ‘cause I think you’re a lesbian.

But in the 2024 film, Damian shared that Regina was the (lipstick) lesbian. Damian related that while middle schoolers, “[...] Regina was worried that Kyle liked Karen more.” Thus, during an after (middle) school game of spin the bottle, Regina decided to seduce Kyle by putting on a “little [girl-on-girl kissing] show” by kissing Janis. Consequently, Kyle got an erection. Damian said, “[...] Kyle was like ‘boing’!”

Mean Girls (2024) | Lipstick Lesbians

Speaking of girl-on-girl kissing, in the 2004 film, at an after-school Halloween house party, two scantily clad school girls kissed sensuously while a male student exclaimed, "Yes! Yes!" And after it was revealed that all the school girls had been backbiting each other, Ms. Norbury (Fey), a math teacher, said, "There's been some girl-on-girl crime here."

Mean Girls (2004) | Sexy Costumes

Speaking of Halloween and scantily clad school girls, in the 2004 film, Cady narrated, “In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in customs and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” In addition, in the 2024 film and during the Broadway musical, Gretchen went even further by stating that not dressing like a slut (on Halloween) was, in fact, slut shaming.  Gretchen opined, "Cady, if you don't dress slutty, that is slut-shamming us." Thus, it should come as no surprise that during the Broadway musical, Regina dressed as a (teen) Playboy Bunny - complete with a cheeky bottom. And during “Someone Gets Hurt”, while still dressed as a Playboy Bunny, Regina placed Aaron hand on her left breast. 

Just like in the Broadway musical, in the 2024 film, Regina informed “Karen, I can see your bra.” Karen replied, “It’s on purpose. I’m going for a look.” Consequently, Regina asked, “Is it ‘girl who slept with eleven people’?” Thereby, once again, informing streamers that Karen had sex with eleven people - presumably, all before the age of 16! 

Interestingly, in the 2004 film, the teens weren’t the only characters who self-sexualized. For example, Mrs. George (Amy Poehler), opened Regina's bedroom door and discovered her daughter passionately kissing Shane Oman on the bed. Shockingly yet graciously, Mrs. George offered her teen daughter and Shane snacks and a condom. Mrs. George, "You guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know. Oh, God love you." And in the 2004 film and during the Broadway musical, upon meeting Cady for the first time, Mrs. George inexplicably shared, "We haven't had any new meat in our little lady taco in so long." However, Mrs. George didn't clarify if the "we" included her teen daughter. 

Mean Girls (2004) | (Little) Girls Gone Wild

As for motifs related to self-sexualized teens, there were inferences in the 2004 film to the Girls Gone Wild franchise. For instance, while Regina was on the phone with Cady, Regina’s preteen sister was watching a Spring Beach Party advertisement on television. During the advertisement a brunette and blond spring breaker raised their cropped tops to reveal their bare breasts above their bikini bottoms. Consequently, Regina’s preteen sister raised her top too! During an all-girl high school brawl, where a schoolboy encouraged, "Yeah! Take your top off!", the secretary informed the principal, "They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild." And in terms of schoolboys requesting the schoolgirls take their tops off, in the libretto, after Cady introduced herself to the class, Cady’s classmates demanded that she go topless. 

CADY

Hello, my name if Cady Heron

STUDENTS

No one cares!/Take your top off! 

However, Fey gave high school actors the: “Option not to say that line.” And those lines had been removed from the Broadway performance that I saw. 

Recall that Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s Simone had an age-gap affair with Dr. Jerry, a married ophthalmologist, whom, while showering [post sex], confessed to 15-year-old Simone that he hated his wife. And that Xanthippe received jewelry from her dad’s friend in exchange for her retainers. In addition, in the libretto, Cady revealed via "Stupid With Love" that when she was a whopping 5-years-old, she, "[...] fell in love, [with] this Peace Corps guy." That's correct - not "peace corps boy" but "guy". Cady's love was unrequited, but it took eight years before she "gave up trying"!

CADY

WHEN I WAS FIVE, I FELL IN LOVE, THIS PEACE CORPS GUY 

I BARED MY SOUL BESIDE THE WATER HOLE,

WHICH MADE HIM LAUGH.

CADY 

BY THIRTEEN I GAVE UP TRYING

But during the Broadway musical, she sang, “WHEN I WAS FIVE, I FELL IN LOVE. IT DIDN’T LAST.” Cady didn’t mention her love interest’s age; however, she did share that her love interest was Kenyan. “HE RAN FROM ME. LITERALLY RAN FROM ME. AND BEING KENYAN, HE RAN FAST.” Then Cady clarified that she was actually 10-years-old when she fell in love with a Peace Corps guy. “WHEN I WAS TEN - IN LOVE AGAIN. THIS PEACE CORP GUY. I WAITED FOR HOURS - INSIDE HIS TEN WITH FLOWERS. WHICH MADE HIM LAUGH. WHICH MADE ME CRY. BY THIRTEEN, I GAVE UP TRYING.”

Yet, in the 2024 film, Cady (Angourie Rice) sang that she was 9-years-old when she fell in love with "This Peace Corps guy" and that she waited inside his tent with flowers.

“When I was nine\I fell I love\This Peace Corps guy\I waited hours inside his tent with flowers\Which made him laugh\Which made me cry\By 13 I gave up trying”

Blame It On Rio (1984)

Cady reminded me of the film Blame It On Rio (1984) where 17-year-old Jennifer (Michelle Johnson) used her youthful beauty and insatiable libido to seduce Matthew (Michael Caine) - her father's 49-year-old best friend. After sex, but still in bed, Jennifer shared with Matthew that her (puppy) love for him began when she was 10-years-old. Jenner to Matthew, "I love you [...] I used to pretend [...] that we were married [...] when I was ten."

Lastly, as it relates to Cady, due to her attraction to her classmate Aaron, Cady shared that she was filled with “CALCULUST.”

A Study of Tina Fey’s Portrayal of (Self) Sexualized Teens (Part 1)

A Study of Tina Fey’s Portrayal of (Self) Sexualized Teens (Part 2)