Liza Esquibias posted on People “Chelsea Handler Is Ready to Spill 'Lots of Tea' in New Netflix Comedy Special The Feeling” (February 17, 2025) In the piece, Esquibias wrote: “[…] while some topics she mentions are more controversial than pickleball, [Chelsea] Handler tells PEOPLE she doesn’t regret a thing.” And Chelsea confessed to Esquibias, “I shared lots of tea in this special, just when I thought there was no more tea to spill.” Here’s some of the tea that Chelsea spilled:
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The Feeling, the title of the comedy special, is in reference to when Chelsea participated in a pre-teen group masturbation session during a back-to-school sleepover at Jodi Repati’s house in New Jersey.
Chelsea related that when she was 8-years-old, she broke her arm at her family’s Martha’s Vineyard summer house. Chelsea described breaking her arm as a pivotal moment in her young life, because after she returned home from the hospital, she mistakenly “slammed” her cast down on top of her “Pikachu” (i.e., her vagina). Consequently, that night, Chelsea discovered how to masturbate.
Chelsea, “I was like, ‘Ow,’ you know. And then it slid down, like, two more centimeters, and I was like, ‘Brrr’. What is that zone?” And I went out that night and found out exactly what that zone was.”
When Chelsea returned home to New Jersey that fall, Jodi Repati, Chelsea’s best friend, invited Chelsea to a back-to-school sleepover where “nine 8-year-old girls” were “gonna get The Feeling.” In other words, masturbate “face down in their sleeping bags”.
Jodi, “We’re having a back-to-school sleepover at my house on Friday night at 7:30. She goes, ‘Everyone’s gonna come over, and we’re all gonna get The Feeling.’”
Chelsea said, “I walk in, and there are nine 8-year-old girls face down in their sleeping bags, just going like this. I was like, ‘Let’s fucking go!’” [Chelsea simulated masturbating vigorously.]
Chelsea shared that she masturbated insatiably and vigorously for 12 hours straight that night. So much so that when she left Jodi’s house, Chelsea had rug burns on her 8-year-old forehead, and she was dehydrated.
“I couldn’t get enough of myself! I showed up at that sleepover at 7:30, and I didn’t get up from that position until 7:30 a.m […] I left that sleepover, I had rug burns on my forehead. I was so thirsty and dehydrated from sweating so much into my pajamas. I was like, ‘Does anyone have a Capri-Sun, please?’”
Chelsea clarified that she didn’t know that what she was doing was referred to as masturbation. She only knew that it felt “amazing”.
“And when you’re that young, you’re 8 or 9-years-old, you’re masturbating, you’re not really – You don’t even know what you’re doing is masturbating. You’re just like, ‘This feels amazing. Like, why didn’t anyone tell me about it.’”
In addition to using her hand to masturbate, Chelsea used a wall, her banana-seat bicycle, a ruler during 8th grade math class, and a ladle during Thanksgiving dinner, which caused her to faint - at the dinner table.
The Wall
For further clarification, Chelsea overshared that while masturbating, she didn’t make direct contact with her Pikachu and that the “thicker material” was best for optimal pleasure – even as thick as a wall.
“You’re not making direct contact with your Pikachu, you know? Like, you want a thicker material. Like, the thicker, the better […] You want, like, a wall. You see a corner, and you’re like, ‘I’m gonna fucking get you.’”
Banana-Seat Bicycle
Chelsea, an insatiable masturbator, would ride a pothole for almost an hour upon her banana-seat bicycle.
“And when no one says anything to you, like, ‘Hey, stop jerking off, you fucking pig.’ You don’t think that anyone even knows what you’re doing; so, I just did it all the time. I’d come home from school. I had a banana-seat bicycle. Now we know what those were for […] I’d go on little errands with my fake family that I created […] I would take my banana-seat bicycle, I would hit a pothole, and just fuckin’ ride it for, like, 30 minutes.” [Chelsea simulated masturbating upon the banana-seat bicycle.]
“My neighbor called my mom, ‘Your daughter’s been in our pothole in front of your living room window for 45 minutes.”
Math Class
Interestingly, Chelsea opined that “masturbating as a young person is just like masturbating as an adult”. Consequently, during her elementary school math class, via a ruler, Chelsea climaxed - more than once.
“I’d go into school. I’d go into math class, and they had those desks with the apertures, you know, the openings on the desk and I’d have a Trapper Keeper in the desk and a ruler in the Trapper Keeper. And I would take the ruler, and I could always do one spin. [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.] I’d call it ‘a spin’. I’m like, ‘Do I have time for a spin?’ [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.] And I would – I would take the ruler, and I’d be like, “Brrr. You know?” [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.]
“And masturbating as a young person is just like masturbating as an adult. You do one round. You climax.”
“And then 30 minutes later, you’re like, ‘One more time! One more time!’ So, I would do it. I would think I’d be done, but I couldn’t resist myself. I couldn’t get enough. So, I would the ruler back out, and then completely lose my shit, you know, during the class.”
Thanksgiving Dinner
To Chelsea’s dismay, after she fainted while masturbating with a ladle during Thanksgiving dinner, her mother advised her to masturbate in the privacy of her room, but her grandfather referred to her as a “little whore”, and her brother shared with the family that Chelsea masturbated “all the time.”
Grandfather to father, “So sorry about your little whore daughter.”
Chelsea’s mother to Chelsea, “Sweetie, that’s something that you wanna do in the privacy of your own room.”
Chelsea’s brother to the family, “She does it all the time!”
In addition to admitting to pre-teen masturbation, Chelsea overshared that when she was 11-years-old, she had a girl-on-girl sexual affair. Chelsea related that during her summer break, she would visit a deli on Main Street in Edgartown where Martha McIntosh worked. Of Martha, Chelsea said, “And I want you to picture Amy Winehouse as an 11-year-old […] I was attracted to her right away.”
The attraction was mutual, because Martha invited Chelsea to her house where Martha gave Chelsea Coronas, Camel Lights, and Martha asked Chelsea, “Hey, do you wanna go into my closet and take your pants down?” Chelsea replied, “Definitely. Like, ‘What’s next?”
Subsequently, Chelsea pulled her pants down before Martha performed oral sex on a flabbergasted Chelsea for about 15 minutes.
“And we go into Martha McIntosh’s closet. I pull my pants down, and she goes down on me for, like, 15 minutes. And I could not believe my good fortune.”
Just like for masturbation, Chelsea had an insatiable appetite for teen oral sex; however, that’s why Chelsea didn’t have a daughter.
“You know. I went there every day. She’d go down on me. It was amazing.”
“And that’s why I don’t have a daughter. So, I don’t have some horny 11-year-old that [sic] needs to be eaten out every 15 minutes.”
Unsurprisingly, by the end of the summer, Martha concluded that it wasn’t always better to give than to receive oral sex.
“And then it was the end of the summer. I went to Martha’s every day – obviously. And it was the end of the summer, and we were in her closet, and she’s going down on me. And then I’m finishing my drink and my cigarette, and she pops her head up and she said, ‘Okay, you know, it’s your turn.’”
On Rotten Tomatoes, Jimmy E gave Chelsea Handler: The Feeling 5 out of 5 stars, and Jimmy posted:
Fans of Chelsea Handler will enjoy this special. She is witty as ever, sprinkling in her life experiences in a funny laugh out loud manner. She shares aspects of her life that made me like her brand of entertainment even more.
