From the NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 2): Lola Kirke, Chelsea Handler, and Lena Dunham

Lola Kirke is an actress (Sinners, 2025 [Warner Bros. Pictures]) and country singer. Lola wrote in the memoir, Wild West Village (Simon & Schuster, 2025), that when she was 10-years-old, her 15-year-old sister Emi (Jemima Kirke [Girls, 2012 (HBO)]) asked Lola to pose in her “underwear, holding a [Marlboro Medium] cigarette”. Lola pleaded, “But I’m only ten, don’t you think-” Nonetheless, the risqué portrait was completed and hung, framed in gold, in the foyer of their West Village brownstone. Of the portrait, Lola wrote:

The naked ten-year-old smoking version of me hung framed in gold in our foyer forabout a decade, until we moved. [...] Our home was part house, part museum, curated expertly by my mother.

Lola related that throughout middle school, she had a friend “from down the street” named Tilly. Lola shared that during that time, she would dry hump Tilly, which Lola described as a game, where Lola fantasized that she was “an unspecified businesswoman in love with her boss [i.e., Tilly] and his son [i.e., Tilly]”. Lola:

All through elementary school, I was either an unspecified businesswoman in love with her boss and his son (my friend Tilly down the street played both), or a sort of simple country wife. While the former game involved a lot of dry humping [...]

After Lola related that she used to play “an assortment of sex games with Barbies”, she wrote that she and Tilly exhausted “most” of their “playdates unknowingly enacting the plots of bad pornos”. Interestingly, Lola wrote that she didn’t really consider Tilly to be a friend. Why? Because Lola and Tilly were “essentially fucking”.

In addition to Tilly, Lola shared that she and a girlfriend “made out once behind the port-a-potties at a wedding”, and, like Julia and Ella, Lola and Erin played: “an eighth-grade game of spin the bottle”.

A year after discovering her father’s infidelity, which was when Lola was in the 7th grade, during the summers in East Hampton, Lola started spending more time with Bettina Richards Goldblatt. Bettina’s home cost “Twelve million dollars,” which caused Lola to write: “While we were wealthy, we weren’t Bettina wealthy.”

While in East Hampton, Bettina would pay Lola compliments. For example, Bettina complimented Lola on her lips, because, per Bettina, Lola had “DSL” (i.e., “dick-sucking lips”). However, per Bettina, she had “nicer eyes and hair” than Lola. Interestingly, Shayla, Bettina’s nanny, purchased Bettina a bra that “generously gathered her chest fat into breast-like mounds.” (In “Oblivion”, a post on Medium (Feb 7, 2022), Lola wrote that Bettina “slept in a sports bra to prevent sagging”.) Of Bettina’s breast-like mounds”, Lola wrote: “She was becoming so grown up, just like I wanted to be and secretly felt I already was.”

One summer in East Hampton, after Lola “wandered upstairs to discover a trail of girls from Bettina’s day camp lined up outside her bathroom door”, Bettina introduced Lola to the pleasures of (pre-teen) masturbation (via a waterfall).

“You guys,” I announced myself, “what are you doing?”

“Shhhh!” they all hissed through retainers I envied.

Suddenly, Bettina flung the door open. “Ugh! I’m so refreshed!”

“ `Cause you showered?” I asked, confused.

“No, idiot.” She grabbed my wrist and yanked me into the bathroom, then lay down in the tub. Spreading her legs wide on either side of the faucet, she turned it on, letting the water spill into her crotch. “But you don’t want it too hot!” she admonished.

Within seconds, her hips were pulsing in a strange rhythm, and she was laughing maniacally [...] [Lola wrote in “Oblivion” that Bettina “began to moan.”]

Bettina told Lola that she had learned the masturbation technique from “Samantha from Sex and the City”. And in “Oblivion”, Lola wrote that she learned from one of the girls that Bettina’s masturbation technique was called a waterfall. “Bettina’s doing a waterfall.” And Lola elaborated in “Oblivion” that the trail of girls were waiting for their turn to masturbate, because after Bettina grabbed Lola’s wrist and yanked her into the bathroom, the girls protested, “No fair! She’s cutting!”

After dinner that evening, Lola told Harry, a boy one year her senior, about Bettina masturbating, to which Harry exclaimed, “Dude. Masturbation is THE BEST. You gotta try it.” Consequently, Lola took Harry’s advice and lowered herself into her “antique bathtub”. The water “pressure had only two crude modes: off and full on.” With her “legs spread and lying back” and a few seconds after she turned the water on, her body “cramped and seized until it entered a fugue state.” Within minutes, Lola was “at it again.” Lola wrote in “Oblivion”, that “[...] after a few moments [of masturbating], I began to feel as if I had been murdered. A sweet, beautiful murder.”

And just like Bettina, Lola was addicted to having orgasms. So much so that Lola started masturbating via the jets in Bettina’s pool. And Lola wrote that when she was alone, she would use her hand, and she even masturbated while watching films. Lola

I spent the rest of the summer either doing exactly this or figuring out ways I could. My interest in Bettina’s snacks was quickly replaced by an intense romance with the jets in her pool. Pretty much any time I was alone or shrouded in darkness, my hand was in my pants. Even during films like What a Girl Wants and The Life of David Gale. I was sick. An addict.

In “Oblivion”, of her addiction, Lola elaborated: “I spent hours doing what I later learned was fucking myself into oblivion. I imagined what it would be like to [sic] it with somebody else.” And Lola wrote that, even though she was only 12, her “sex drive was an 11 out of 10.”

Liza Esquibias posted on People “Chelsea Handler Is Ready to Spill 'Lots of Tea' in New Netflix Comedy Special The Feeling” where Esquibias wrote: “[…] while some topics she mentions are more controversial than pickleball, Handler tells PEOPLE she doesn’t regret a thing.” In the piece, the comedian confessed to Esquibias, “I shared lots of tea in this special, just when I thought there was no more tea to spill.” Since Chelsea is featured in this essay, it would only make sense that the tea that she spilled on Netflix included schoolgirl sleepover sex and (group) masturbation.

The Feeling, 2025 (Netflix), the title of the comedy special, is in reference to a pre-teen group masturbation session that Chelsea participated in during a back-to-school sleepover at Jodi Repati’s house in New Jersey. Chelsea related that when she was 8-years-old, she broke her arm at her family’s Martha’s Vineyard summer house. Chelsea described breaking her arm as a pivotal moment in her young life, because after she returned home from the hospital, she mistakenly “slammed” her cast down on top of her “Pikachu” (i.e., her vagina). Consequently, that night, Chelsea discovered how to masturbate. Chelsea said,

“I was like, ‘Ow,’ you know. And then it slid down, like, two more centimeters, and I was like, ‘Brrr’. What is that zone?” And I went out that night and found out exactly what that zone was.”

When Chelsea returned home to New Jersey that fall, Jodi Repati, Chelsea’s best friend, invited Chelsea to a back-to-school sleepover where “nine 8-year-old girls” were “gonna get The Feeling.” In other words, masturbate “face down in their sleeping bags”.

Jodi, “We’re having a back-to-school sleepover at my house on Friday night at 7:30. She goes, ‘Everyone’s gonna come over, and we’re all gonna get The Feeling.’”

Chelsea, “I walk in, and there are nine 8-year-old girls face down in their sleeping bags, just going like this. I was like, ‘Let’s fucking go!’” [Chelsea simulated masturbating vigorously.]

Chelsea joked that she masturbated insatiably and vigorously for 12 hours straight that night. Hyperbole? So much so that when she left Jodi’s house, Chelsea had rug burns on her 8-year-old forehead, and she was dehydrated. Chelsea,

“I couldn’t get enough of myself! I showed up at that sleepover at 7:30, and I didn’t get up from that position until 7:30 a.m […] I left that sleepover, I had rug burns on my forehead. I was so thirsty and dehydrated from sweating so much into my pajamas. I was like, ‘Does anyone have a Capri-Sun, please?’”

Chelsea clarified that she didn’t know that what she was doing was referred to as masturbation. She only knew that it felt “amazing”. Chelsea,

“And when you’re that young, you’re 8 or 9-years-old, you’re masturbating, you’re not really – You don’t even know what you’re doing is masturbating. You’re just like, ‘This feels amazing. Like, why didn’t anyone tell me about it.’”

In addition to using her hand to masturbate, Chelsea used a wall, her banana-seat bicycle, and a ruler during 8th grade math class. And she masturbated with a ladle during Thanksgiving dinner, which caused Chelsea to faint - at the dinner table.

The Wall

For further clarification, Chelsea said that while masturbating, she didn’t make direct contact with her Pikachu and that “thicker material” was best for optimal pleasure – even as thick as a wall. Chelsea,

“You’re not making direct contact with your Pikachu, you know? Like, you want a thicker material. Like, the thicker, the better […] You want, like, a wall. You see a corner, and you’re like, ‘I’m gonna fucking get you.’”

Banana-Seat Bicycle

Chelsea, an insatiable masturbator, would ride a pothole after school for almost an hour upon her banana-seat bicycle. Chelsea,

“And when no one says anything to you, like, ‘Hey, stop jerking off, you fucking pig.’ You don’t think that anyone even knows what you’re doing; so, I just did it all the time. I’d come home from school. I had a banana-seat bicycle. Now we know what those were for […] I’d go on little errands with my fake family that I created […] I would take my banana-seat bicycle, I would hit a pothole, and just fuckin’ ride it for, like, 30 minutes.” [Chelsea simulated masturbating upon the banana-seat bicycle.]

“My neighbor called my mom, ‘Your daughter’s been in our pothole in front of your living room window for 45 minutes.”

Math Class

During her elementary school math class, via a ruler, Chelsea climaxed - more than once. Chelsea,

“I’d go into school. I’d go into math class, and they had those desks with the apertures, you know, the openings on the desk and I’d have a Trapper Keeper in the desk and a ruler in the Trapper Keeper. And I would take the ruler, and I could always do one spin. [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.] I’d call it ‘a spin’. I’m like, ‘Do I have time for a spin?’ [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.] And I would – I would take the ruler, and I’d be like, “Brrr. You know?” [Chelsea simulated masturbating with a ruler.]

“And masturbating as a young person is just like masturbating as an adult. You do one round. You climax.”

“And then 30 minutes later, you’re like, ‘One more time! One more time!’ So, I would do it. I would think I’d be done, but I couldn’t resist myself. I couldn’t get enough. So, I would take the ruler back out, and then completely lose my shit, you know, during the class.”

Thanksgiving Dinner

To Chelsea’s dismay, after she fainted while masturbating with a ladle during Thanksgiving dinner, her mother advised her to masturbate in the privacy of her room, but her grandfather referred to Chelsea as a “little whore”, and her brother shared with the family that Chelsea masturbated “all the time.”

Grandfather to father, “So sorry about your little whore daughter.”

Chelsea’s mother to Chelsea, “Sweetie, that’s something that you wanna do in the privacy of your own room.”

Chelsea’s brother to the family, “She does it all the time!”

Interestingly, Chelsea opined that “masturbating as a young person is just like masturbating as an adult”.

During her Netflix comedy special, in addition to spilling the tea about her (group) pre-teen masturbation, Chelsea related to the audience and streamers that when she was 11-years-old, she had a girl-on-girl sexual affair with Martha McIntosh, whom Chelsea would visit during her summer break at a deli on Main Street in Edgartown, where Martha worked. Of Martha, Chelsea said, “And I want you to picture Amy Winehouse as an 11-year-old […] I was attracted to her right away.”

The attraction was mutual, because Martha invited Chelsea to her house, where Martha gave Chelsea Coronas, Camel Lights, and Martha asked Chelsea, “Hey, do you wanna go into my closet and take your pants down?” Chelsea replied, “Definitely. Like, ‘What’s next?”

Subsequently, Chelsea pulled her pants down before Martha performed oral sex on a flabbergasted Chelsea for about 15 minutes. Chelsea,

“And we go into Martha McIntosh’s closet. I pull my pants down, and she goes down on me for, like, 15 minutes. And I could not believe my good fortune.”

Just like for masturbation, Chelsea had an insatiable appetite for teen oral sex; however, Chelsea said that’s why she never had a daughter. Chelsea,

“You know. I went there every day. She’d go down on me. It was amazing [...] And that’s why I don’t have a daughter. So, I don’t have some horny 11-year-old that [sic] needs to be eaten out every 15 minutes.”

Eventually, Martha concluded that it wasn’t always better to give than to receive - oral sex. Chelsea,

“And then it was the end of the summer. I went to Martha’s every day – obviously. And it was the end of the summer, and we were in her closet, and she’s going down on me. And then I’m finishing my drink and my cigarette, and she pops her head up and she said, ‘Okay, you know, it’s your turn.’”

Ivanka Trump, who is most famous for being the daughter of Donald Trump, reminded us that schoolgirl sleepovers can happen in hotel rooms, too.

Vanessa Grigoriadis wrote in her New York Magazine cover story “Ivanka Aeternum” (The Cut\New York Magazine, 2019) that Ivanka threw a wild birthday party in middle school that included topless prep schoolgirls in limos and nude nymphets watching porn in Atlantic City's Taj Mahal hotel. Grigoriadis wrote:

Ivanka was always a good student, but she was no kind of good girl. For her birthday party in junior high, she invited about 20 girls from Chapin, her Upper East Side all-girls school, to the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, all of them crammed into stretch limos without chaperones[...] The girls acted crazy: flashing people out the windows, whipping off bras and putting them on the limos’ antennae. In the hotel suite, they rented porn and ran around naked. Classmates who remained at home heard about the trip in excruciating detail and felt horribly left out.

Grigoriadis did not say if Ivanka participated in the prep schoolgirl debauchery at the Taj Mahal; however, Emily Jane Fox related in her New York Times Bestseller Born Trump: Inside America's First Family (HarperCollins, 2019) that, while middle-students at Chapin, Ivanka and a classmate flashed a hot dog vendor from their prestigious school’s classroom window. Of Ivanka, Fox wrote:

"She was in class. And Chapin is right up against a park on the Upper East Side - on the far east side [...] So, she was in a third floor [8th grade] classroom and looked down into the park and there was a hot dog vendor. And she and her girlfriend[s] flashed the hot dog vendor from the school window."

Lysandra Ohrstrom who took part in “flashing the hot dog man” elaborated on the incident in her Vanity Fair piece "Ivanka Trump Was My Best Friend Now She's MAGA Royalty" (November 17, 2020) In the piece, Ohrstrom elaborated that, due to Ivanka’s encouragement, not two but about five schoolgirls simultaneously flashed the hotdog vendor. Ohrstrom:

"One of the earliest memories I have of Ivanka from before we were friends is when [...] she goaded me and a few other girls into flashing our breasts out the window of our classroom in what has since been labelled the “flashing the hot dog man” incident in Chapin lore. Ivanka had basically been the ringleader, but she pleaded her innocence to the headmistress and got off scot-free. The rest of us were suspended."

[Disclaimer: To this day, Ivanka (openly) denies any involvement in the Chapin middle-school “flashing the hot dog man” incident.]

Lena Dunham related in her memoir, Not That Kind of Girl (Random House, 2014), that on a Saint Ann's eighth-grade class trip to Washington D.C., some of Lena's 14-year-old classmates: “[...] decided to go totally gay. It started with some light kissing on the [hotel] bed, then Jessica was topless and shaking her tits, clutching her own nipples and wagging them mercilessly in our faces.”

And Hallie Batchelder, a New York City-based influencer, shared on the “The Hamptons Confessional” episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast (Aug 28, 2024) that when she was 15, her mother caught her having anal sex in the hotel room during a family vacation in Aruba. Hallie (over) shared:

“Wait, when I was 15, my mom walked in. I mean, [I was] getting fucked in the ass on a [hotel] pull-out bed in Aruba.”

From the NY Times to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 1): Becca Moore, Miley Cyrus, Jessica Simpson and Julia Fox

From the NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 1): Becca Moore, Miley Cyrus, Jessica Simpson and Julia Fox

In the New York Times THE ETHICIST piece “My Daughter Is Having Sex with Her Best Friend. Must I Tell Her Mom?” (March 22, 2022), a mother needed advice, because her mid-teen daughter was having girl-on-girl sex during sleepovers with her best friend. 

Here's part of the question submitted to THE ETHICIST:

My daughter is in a newly romantic relationship with her best friend, who is also female. Both are in their midteens. My daughter recently confided in me that they have had sex. She insists, however, that I am not allowed to tell the friend’s mother, because the mother wouldn’t let them have sleepovers or hang out as much. My ex-husband is the one who hosts the sleepovers, and he looks the other way when they are in the bedroom, reasoning that (or so my daughter tells me), “It’s OK because there are no penises involved.” [...] Are my ex-husband’s actions egregious? Name Withheld

The mother’s question reminded me of Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture (Free Press\Simon & Schuster, 2005). Levy related in the book that on the thirtieth anniversary of Nancy Friday’s “international bestselling collection” My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Trident Press, 1973), a panel discussion titled “Sex and What Women Want Now” was held at the 92nd Street YMHA in Manhattan. The panel discussion, which included Candace Bushnell - the author of Sex and the City, was moderated by Norman Pearlstein, Friday’s husband and the editor-in-chief of Time Inc. Levy related that during the panel, Friday opined that as long as a [young] woman reaches orgasm, it doesn’t matter whom she thinks about while masturbating or during sex. Friday asked the panel discussion attendees,

“Doesn’t everyone here agree that it doesn’t really matter? If it takes you where you want to go, if it helps you reach orgasm, does it matter who you’re thinking about?” 

In My Secret Garden, a variety of fantasies were shared, which began when most of the fantasizers were between the ages of 7 and 11. For example, Alexandra fantasized about having an affair with her high school teacher. She stated emphatically: "[...] I'm sure it would not be a fantasy if I gave him a little encouragement." And Stephanie fantasized about very young girls being raped "by a mad professor". In Stephanie’s fantasy, the professor decided whom he was going to rape by examining "their sexual apparatus". However, in addition to their fantasies, some women shared what they brought to life during schoolgirl sleepovers. 

Clarissa recalled that she and her friend were caught masturbating with candles - when they were 12. Marina shared that she began to be aware of men at the age of 9 or 10 and thought about them while she masturbated; however, Marina only had "a vague idea of what lovemaking was" until she met her friend, a 10-year-old Mediterranean girl. Marina and the Mediterranean used to sit at opposite ends of the bathtub and pour warm water from a Russian silver teapot over their clitorises while caressing their bodies "with infallible, instinctive verve." Celia confessed that when she was about 8, she used to bully her: "[...] friend into playing games where we had to pretend to take off our clothes and the 'wicked man' would make us walk in the street [...]" In addition, Celia said that when she was 10, she wanted to be a stripper and that she had "intimate contact" with her girlfriend. And when Alison was 14, she had an "[...] unusual relationship with a close girlfriend". In the unusual relationship, Alison's girlfriend would dress Alison in a sexy bikini made of chiffon scarves. Then Alison's girlfriend pretended that she was a "rowdy seaman" before she “raped” Allison.

Since reading that THE ETHICIST piece and My Secret Garden, while doing research for a second edition and a new book, I’ve come across a number of actresses, singers, and influencers, whom, just like the women in  My Secret Garden, have shared their schoolgirl sleepover sexual exploits via Youtube podcasts, memoirs, (non-fiction) books, and even via a Netflix comedy special. 

Becca Moore

Becca Moore is a podcaster and influencer with over one million followers on TikTok. On the “My First Time (with a woman)” episode of her Becca Moore podcast (YouTube, August 27, 2024), Becca shared that during middle school sleepovers, she and her friends would “sit in a circle and all make out with each other.” Becca,

“Like, honestly, in middle school we used to, like, sit in a circle and all make out with each other. And no boys would be around. I don't really know why we were doing that, but I did love those sleepovers. That was fun.”

By high school, Becca was still making out with girls during sleepovers, but schoolboys attended the sleepovers too. Becca, 

“And then when I got to high school, we would have sleepovers and make out, like, play spin the bottle, but boys would be there. And it was kind of, like, a little bit, I will say, the high school one, was a little bit performative.”

“I think that we were not really, like, turned on. We were only doing it because boys were watching, and I think we thought that it was hot for them to watch - at least from my perspective. I think, I was more so thinking about the boys than the girls.”

Thus, at least for Becca, making out with other high school girls during sleepovers wasn’t (only) for pleasure, it was additionally done to provide entertainment for the schoolboys. 

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus, the Grammy award-winning singer and actress, shared with Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast “Miley Cyrus-Call Her Daddy Interview” (YouTube, August 13, 2020) that when she was a pre-teen, she had a girl-on-girl orgy, which Cooper referred to as “amazing”.

Miley, "Yeah, when I was like 11 or 12 [...] I got most of my girlfriends to hook up with me."

Alex, "That is such an amazing [thing]. That's amazing!"

Miley, "The first time I ever hooked up with anyone was with a girl. Two of them."

Alex, "And did you go past first base?"

Miley, "Yeah! Oh yeah!"

Alex, "Miley's like, 'Of course. Oh my God. Absolutely.'"

Since Miley admitted that she went “past first base” during sleepovers, we can confidently infer that Miley’s hookups were more involved than Becca’s ( i.e., Miley and her girlfriends did more than kiss during sleepovers).

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson, the singer, actress, and fashion designer, wrote in her memoir, Open Book (Dey Street Books\ HarperCollins, 2020), that when she was between the ages of 6 and 12, she and a family friend would have girl-on-girl sex during sleepovers. Jessica wrote that, like Miley Cyrus, her family friend would initiate sex. For example, during the night, foreplay consisted of tickling Jessica’s back. Eventually, they started having sex during the daytime while using a closet for privacy. Jessica’s friend would even watch Jessica shower. Jessica wrote:

It would start with tickling my back [...] Eventually, it wasn't just at nighttime. She would get me to go into a closet with her, or just find a way to linger until we were alone. It got to the point that she would sneak into the bathroom to watch me shower.

In an interview with People “Jessica Simpson on Confronting Her Abuser: 'It Was Extremely Painful and Still Is'” (January 29, 2020), Jessica clarified that even though her family friend initiated the sex, Jessica admitted that she “allowed it to happen”; thus, Jessica felt “very shameful”, because she was complicit. Jessica confessed to People, 

“I allowed it to happen, so I felt that I was as much of the abuser as the abused. So I was very shameful during that time, from 6 to 12 years old.”

Curiously, Jessca is the only celebrity slash influencer who expressed shame about her girl-on-girl sleepover activities and considered it to be sexual abuse. But just as curiously, out of all the words in her 416-page memoir, Jessca used the schoolgirl sleepover sex imagery to promote the book. 

Julia Fox

Julia Fox, the actress (Uncut Gems, 2019 [A24]) and model, related in her memoir, Down the Drain (Simon & Schuster, 2023), that in 2001, when she was an 11-year-old 6th grader at East Side Middle School in Manhattan, she and Ella, whom Julia described as a straight A student with “beautiful thick auburn hair and big green eyes”, would “roll joints with a filter, ‘like the French’” and they would kiss “like the French too.” As an excuse to kiss, Julia and Ella played spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven. Julia wrote: 

We play[ed] games like spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven [i.e., in the closet kissing], and then we pretend[ed] like it didn’t happen.

Unlike Jessica Simpson, Julia and Ella didn’t appear to be ashamed of their pre-teen sexual exploits; however, Julia wrote that Ella insisted that their girl-on-girl kissing was “practice for the real deal”. In other words, Ella assured Julia that they were not middle school lesbians or bisexual. Consequently, Julia wrote that she sensed that Ella simply enjoyed kissing girls. 

Eventually, Julia befriended Rose - a rich classmate. “Penthouse on Fifth Avenue rich.” Julia loved sneaking into Rose’s penthouse after hours, where the schoolgirls would: “[...] sit cross-legged, facing each other on her floor, and pass each other love poems.” Sometimes Julia and Rose would: “[...] massage each other with oils”, “dribble hot wax over each other’s bodies’ or, like Marina and the Mediterranean girl in My Secret Garden, Julia and Rose would take “baths together”. While the schoolgirls bathed, Julia wrote that she couldn't stop staring at Rose's “enormous double-D breasts, covered in thick purple stretch marks.” 

When Rose was grounded, Julian befriended Alice, whom “lost a bunch of weight using diet pills [...] [and] started tanning and wearing makeup.” Julia and Alice had a crush on Tommy, whom invited them to his house for a sleepover via AIM: “My mom is out of town, you guys should come over!” After a “few beers”, Tommy handed Julia and Alice a pair of boxers, and they squeezed into Tommy’s “tiny twin bed”, where, after Julia put Tommy’s penis into her mouth, he immediately ejaculated all over her hair. Consequently, Julia was “half thrilled, [and] half horrified.” Julia:

I quietly slide under the blanket until I’m face-to-face with IT. Wow, it’s beautiful. I put my hands around it and grip it tightly with my sweaty palms. I move my hands up and down, his body twitching at my every move. I stick my tongue out and taste the tip, as if sampling an ice cream cone. It doesn’t taste bad! I put my mouth over it, and before I can even start sucking, he ejaculates all over my hair. I shoot up from under the covers and run to the bathroom. I begin scrubbing the gelatinous goop out of my hair, half thrilled, half horrified.

Days later, Julia graduated from middle school; however, before she started elementary school, she lost her virginity to 23-year-old Giovanni - in the middle of the street in Italy. But that story is for another post. 

• From the NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 2): Lola Kirke, Chelsea Handler, and Lena Dunham

• From the NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 3): Restless Virgins | Zoe, Isabel, Annie, and Whitney

• From the NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 4): Camp Cabins

• NY TIMES to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories (Part 5): Sleepover Sexting and (Virtual) Sleepover Sex

Talia Lichtstein: NYC Influencer Who Prefers (Much) Older Men

On the “No More Bad Vibes” episode of the Bad Vibes podcast (Apr 29, 2022), then-23-year-old Talia Lichtstein, a NYC Influencer, shared with her co-host, Alexis Barber, that during her freshman and sophomore (i.e., teen) years at Berkeley, she had a “ridiculous amount” of age-gap sex but that the “risky - dangerous” sex was done to be validated by men and her sorority sisters.

“Girl, if I could only tell you the crazy shit that I did my freshman and sophomore year of college. I lived to do risky - dangerous […] sex. Doing crazy things. Meeting up with people [via Hinge] who were too old for me […] Having a ridiculous amount of sex.”

“I would always be the one in my sorority to always have funny [sex] stories to tell.”

Approximately five years later, Lichtstein shared that she has sex for fun, to be young, and to have a good time, like when she performed oral sex in a parking lot. But that she no longer has sex to be validated:

“Like me blowing that guy in the parking lot. That was a fun thing that I did. Not because of validation but because that guy was hot, and I was having a good time. And I was like, ‘This is funny.’ I really wanted to. Like, I was turned on and horny. Not because I wanted to impress him […]”

However, on “Vibe Check” (Feb 10, 2022), the very first episode of the podcast, Lichtstein confessed that she lives for validation.

“I love when people DM me and ask for my phone number. I love when people tell me I’m hot. I love when men slide into my DMs. They can be the ugliest people on earth. I live for this validation [….] I don’t need that kind of lack of validation […] I need that heavy in my life.”

And on “Breaking Up With Friends And Beefing With Andy Cohen” (Mar 10, 2022), Lichtstein reiterated her “unapologetic” need for validation. On the episode, Lichtstein said that she accidentally performed oral sex. “So, I tripped, and my mouth fell on my friend’s dick - basically.” That was done after Lichtstein’s friend advised her that they shouldn’t have sex, which she took as a challenge.

Lichtstein: “Of course, he’s saying we can’t sleep together; so, I’m automatically like, ‘Well, now we have to.’ Even though I don’t find him that attractive.”

Barber: “Honestly, I would do the same.”

Lichtstein: “Exactly, when a guy tells you that you’re not gonna fuck. Obviously, you’re only thinking about fucking; so, ever since, it’s been my mission to fuck this guy who I’m not even attracted to [...] It’s the validation.”

Barber: “I’m happy that you’re unapologetic about that.”

And Lichtstein elaborated on one of her freshman year age-gap affairs. She related that when she was 18, she had a “fun little adventure” with a 28-year-old that lasted for three months during which he gifted her Lyft gift cards to cover her travel expenses from campus to his place.

“I had about a three-month thing when I was a freshman in college; so, he worked at some tech company in San Francisco. He was much older than me. I was having so much fun. Oh my God. It was such, like, a fun little adventure. He, for either Valentine’s Day or my birthday, he did what I think is perfect. He got me a [Victoria’s Secret] gift card [...] In addition, to another present [Lyft gift card] that was completely not sexual; so, he really balanced it out […] I was only 18-years-old seeing a 28-year-old man.”

On “You Don’t Know Me” (Feb 24), Lichtstein shared her reasons for dating, “almost exclusively”, men whom were “a little too old”. She said that guys her age “suck”, but that age-gap affairs are beneficial, educational, and fun.

“It can be really beneficial to date an older guy […] Guys our age suck. I really get a lot from dating guys who are older than me. Like I feel like they benefit my life in so many ways. I’ve learned so much about life […] It’s just fun to hang out with them. “

“An older guy could be that perfect example of a guy who has a net positive value in your life […] These people are established. They know what they are doing.”

Lichtstein confessed that she’s never “really” been taken advantage of by an older man. “[…] I don’t think I’ve ever really been taken advantage of or hurt by these men. Like, I’ve never done anything that I really regret.” But she did say that, “It’s very easy to be taken advantage of.” Consequently, she strongly advised against age-gap sexting and/or age-gap sex tapes. (Oddly, Lichtstein stated that men are reluctant to ask (older) women for nudes, because (older) women are too smart to sext. #really)

Towards the end of the episode, Lichtstein shared that she started having age-gap affairs at an early age. For example, as a high school freshman (≈ 14-years-old), Lichtstein went to prom with an approximately 18-year-old senior.

“Speaking of age gaps, I was a freshman [when] I went to prom with some senior. Oh my God, it was the coolest thing of my life.”

She elaborated on “Dating: The Good, The Bad, & the F*cking Annoying” (April 7, 2022) that the reason seniors asked her, a mere freshman, to prom was due to her large fountains. Lichtstein bragged, “I had big titties from a young age.” Consequently, she asked rhetorically, “I wonder where - how long I’ve had this thing for older guys?”

And on “WTF Does LYLAS Mean?” (Mar 3, 2022), after being verified on Instagram, Lichtstein exclaimed:

“Congratulations to every [older] man I’ve fucked! […] Sorry your boyfriend fucked a verified girl. All the ladies out there. ‘Sorry.” It’s so cool! It makes my boobs ten times bigger. All my thirst traps are ten times hotter.” #validated

In addition, on the “WTF Does LYLAS Mean?” episode, Lichtstein shared that she had an upcoming date with a mere 30-year-old whom she met at Fiddlesticks Pub in the West Village. Both Barber and Lichtstein were surprised that the James Morrison look alike wasn’t even older.

Barber: “You and another person over 30.” [#smh]

Lichtstein: “Yeah.” [Laughs] “Here we go.” “Me and my 30-year-old. God. This is pretty young for me - honestly.”

Barber: “I agree. It is. It really is. It really is.”

On “The Slap Heard ‘Round The World” (Mar 31, 2022), Lichtstein (over) shared that she had the “most sexual” Bat Mitzvah, “[...] where everybody, like, made out and grinned on each other.” Then she complained, “I think it’s a crime that I didn’t get fucked silly in it.” 

It reference to a revealing dress that she wore to an event in Manhattan, wore in a TikTok, and posted on Instagram (i.e., “jerk off material”), she advised, “If you want to see my titties, they’re out on Insta.” Subsequently, Barber asked, “Old dude is visiting?” To which Lichtstein replied in the affirmative and shared that she spent a couple of nights with him at his “nice hotel”.

It turns out that Lichtstein’s attraction to older men began even before high school.  Per a tweet that she spoke about on “It’s Complicated: Family Holidays Edition” (Apr 14, 2022), a “younger” Lichtstein masturbated to Dr. Egon Spengler of Ghostbusters (1984).

“It’s so cute and trendy now to be into Jewish guys. Back in my day, I was a freak for masturbating to [Dr. Egon] Spengler from Ghostbusters […] I was obsessed with this guy when I was younger.”

Since Ghostbusters premiered in 1984, 23-year-old Lichtstein wasn’t born; thus, it wasn’t clear how much “younger” she was when she masturbated to images of Dr. Spengler. However, on “Over Coachella, Revolve’s Sh*tshow Festival, & Leave Rihanna Alone” (April 21, 2022), Lichtstein elaborated a bit. “I have always liked that man [i.e., Dr. Egon Spengler] since I was a child.”

In the end, Lichtstein is pro age-gap relationships, but with no sexting and/or sex tapes.

Note: Bad Vibes is no longer vibing. Barber said that she was “very busy”, but Lichtstein spilled that Barber was “faced with the options” from her prestigious and well-paying day job. Otherwise, Barber would be, ironically, Googling for a new position. 

Lichtstein: “If I were making the money that you were making […] I don’t think that I would risk it for this podcast either - this once weekly podcast […] Your decision is the one anybody would have made faced with the options that you were faced with - absolutely.”

Sabrina Carpenter: Lolita Core for the Male Gaze?

 

The post “Who’s Afraid of Sabrina Carpenter?: The Alleged Pedophilic Fantasy & the Complexities of Feminine Performance” was posted on the Final Girl Digital Substack (Feb 04, 2025). In the post, the author wrote that after Sabrina released “Espresso”: “[...] the whole world was listening to Espresso, and all eyes were on Sabrina.

The author noted that while those eyes were on Sabrina, Sabrina typically performed in: “[...] a pastel pink mini skirt and corset featuring a heart shaped cut out at the chest, complete with her signature platform boots by Naked Wolfe.” However, the author was surprised by the number of comments posted on Sabrina’s photographs and videos that suggested that Sabrina: “[...] dressed like a little girl.”

Subsequently, the author: “[...] stumbled across a twitter thread of people discussing how Sabrina shouldn’t perform [dressed like a little girl] in such a sexual way when her audience contains children.”

The author related that the pedophilic fantasy referenced in the subtitle of the Substack “references aspects of the male gaze”, which is in reference to the lens created by men in art and media, which “[...] has inherently pedophilic qualities in nature.” And the author wrote that women have “come to internalize this representation of the female experience” and that women have been “[...] trained women on how to best present themselves within the context of being consumed.”

In addition, the author implied that Sabrina’s performances are “shaped by dominant Western colonial culture”. Consequently, Sabrina’s performances are “[...] deeply intertwined with infantilization, and the standard of the girl as the ultimate feminine representation rather than the woman.” And the author implied that Sabrina is pressured into appearing “youthful, hairless, submissive, docile, etc”

In a bit of hyperbole, the author opined that women are “trained since birth” [Emphasis added] “to perform in a way to be consumed” and that “all women” [Emphasis added] are “growing up in the context of consuming this media [and] have inevitably been influenced by this gaze.” Consequently, “by default this idea of the ‘pedophilic fantasy’” seeps into the subconscious of all women with “pedophilic fantasy” being defined as: “a fantasy that places juvenile feminine beauty on a pedestal.”

The author related that women are haunted by the “obsession with youth” and that women are conditioned to believe that their “value is intrinsically tied to youth”. Relatedly, the author referenced Susan Sontag’s The Double Standard of Ageing where Sontag wrote that the standard of beauty is “the girl”.

Sabrina Carpenter as Lolita? (Source: Jade Hurley [Substack])

In terms of Sabrina Carpenter, the author reiterated that Sabrina’s performances, in “glittery pastels, and heart motifs”, which are associated with “juvenile girlhood”, are panderings to the “pedophilic male gaze”. The author wrote that, consequently: “[...] connections [were] made between the aesthetic of Sabrina Carpenter to the aesthetic of Lolita, [and] Priscilla Presley [...]”, which proves that Sabrina has combined “the aesthetic of childishness and sexuality.”

Additionally, the author argued that the “true common denominator” is Sabrina’s reference to the vintage aesthetics of the 50’s and 60s.

Jane Birkin and Sabrina Carpenter (Source: Cricket Guest [Substack])

Subsequently, the author referenced Jane Birkin’s song “Lolita Go Home” and Marilyn Monroe’s performance in Let’s Make Love (1960) where Marilyn performed “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” and introduced “[...] herself in a hushed, girlish whisper: “My name is Lolita. And I’m not supposed to… play… with boys!”

BABYDOLL (1956)

In addition, the author related that, due to the name, the babydoll dresses worn by Jane Birkin, Sabrina Carpenter, and “countless” others represent the “complex intersection of infantilization and sexualization”. Connectedly, the author referenced Babydoll (1956) where Archie Lee Meighan, a middle-aged man, married ≈17-year-old Baby Doll. In the film, the age-gap couple agreed, at Babydoll’s father’s insistence, to not consummate their marriage until Babydoll’s 20th birthday. In the meantime, Babydoll slept in a crib and seductively sucked her thumb.

However, in a seeming contradiction to her premise, the author asked and answered the (rhetorical) question: “by wearing a babydoll dress are you catering to a “pedophilic fantasy” within the zeitgeist of feminine performance? Maybe.” And the author related that women reported that by wearing baby pink babydoll dresses, ribbons, pleated mini-skirts, and Mary Janes that they were not “pandering to an alleged pedophilic gaze” but that they were “[...] merely making nostalgic nods to their girlhood—an act of reclaiming it through a more girlish, frivolous way of dressing.” In other words, women argued that they have not “come to internalize this representation of the female experience” and that they have not been trained: “[...] on how to best present themselves within the context of being consumed.”

The author noted that: “[...] when we look at children’s clothing despite the lack of sexual dimorphism in pre-pubescent children, the clothing for girls is significantly smaller, tighter, and shorter than the clothing for boys.” But this is incorrect, because clothing for women, of almost every age, is often: “[...] smaller, tighter, and shorter than the clothing for boys [and men].”

Next, the author related that Sabrina’s “glittery pink corset” brought to mind Toddlers and Tiaras where toddlers in tiaras wore “makeup, heels, and corsets” and where the lines between “girl” and “woman” were blurred, which, the author opined isn’t surprising since we live in a culture where girls and women are taught to be: “[...] virginal teenage seductress[es]. Ambiguously youthful and sexually viable.”

Via Jade Hurley’s Substack post "Your Fave Is Selling a Pedophilic Fantasy." (Sep. 13, 2024), the author noted a purported connection between Sabrina and Nabokov’s Lolita. In the aptly named W Magazine piece “Sabrina Carpenter Knows She Has You Hooked” (Sep. 5, 2024), there’s a photo of Sabrina who: “[...] is laying on her stomach in a picturesque suburban backyard. The sun shines into frame, Sabrina is wearing a lacey white mini dress, as a backyard sprinkler doses water onto her already dampened body. This photo is undeniably a reference to the 1997 film adaptation of Nabokov’s Lolita.”

And a connection was made between Sabrina’s advertisement for Kim Kardashian’s Skims (2024) and the Rolling Stone piece “Britney Spears: Inside the Heart, Mind and Bedroom of a Teen Dream” (1999) where, then-16-years-old, Britney Spears was photographed standing in her childhood bedroom, surrounded by her stuffed animals and dolls, donning a pair of white short-shorts and a cardigan that barely covered her white bra. In Sabrina’s Skims campaign, she donned Skims lingerie along with lace, pink hair ribbons and white bobby socks in what appears to be a teen girl’s bedroom, which the author wrote is: “[...] subliminal[ly] signalling “teen girl” in order to sell lingerie”

16-Year-Old Britney Spears (ROLLING STONE)

I’m confused, because the target audience for Skims or Sabrina’s music is not middle-aged men, which the author confirmed by writing: “In the case of Skims, the primary demographic is women, with Kim Kardashian herself mentioning that the campaign was specifically aimed at Gen Z women and girls.” Yet, the author insisted, almost conspiratorially, that females cannot escape the influence of the male gaze, because females are “subliminally influenced” to perform for the desires of men.

Very interestingly, the author opined that Sabrina’s Short N’ Sweet tour was curated to evoke a “sleepover” energy; however, in a bit of a contradiction, the author wrote that Sabrina’s tour was “[...] deliberately built for her female audience [...] rather than being curated for the male gaze [...]” But then the author wrote that Sabrina’s tour was inevitably subconsciously influenced by men.

In the end, the author appears to have made a complete 180 from her premise and opined, possibly naively, that she doesn’t “think” Sabrina used the allure of nymphets to sell music, concert tickets, advertising for (online) “magazines”, and lingerie.

I don’t think Sabrina is trying to position herself as the “sexy baby” people are making her out to be. I don’t think she is pandering to a pedophilic fantasy. I think the examples such as the Skims Campaign and the W Magazine photo are symptoms of subconscious problems with the expression of femininity [...] I don't think Sabrina is actively or intentionally infantilizing herself nor do I think Sabrina is attempting to shield herself under the guise of girlhood [...]

On the contrary, I would opine that Sabrina has (repeatedly) used the allure of nymphets to sell music, concert tickets, advertising for (online) “magazines”, and lingerie. However, it appears that Sabrina has recently taken a bit of a break from using the allure of teen sex to sell. Currently, Sabrina is simply using sex to sell, which is exemplified by the content related to her newest release.

Poppie Platt posted on The Telegraph “Sabrina Carpenter’s over-sexed, degrading new album cover has gone too far: From Lolita marketing to on-stage sex acts and now a controversial cover for new album Man’s Best Friend, is Carpenter regressive for women? (12 June 2025) Of the album cover, Platt wrote:

Carpenter is pictured kneeling on the ground with her flowing blonde curls in the tight grip of a man’s fist, her hand teasingly placed on his upper thigh, eyes wide and mouth agape [...]

Sabrina in Daisy Dukes for "Manchild" Video

And Kristin Myers posted on Yahoo “Sabrina Carpenter Sizzles In Daisy Dukes For 'Manchild' Music Video” (June 7, 2025) Myers wrote:

Pop star Sabrina Carpenter is turning up the heat in her "Manchild" music video. The "Espresso" singer was oozing sex appeal as she showed off her lean legs in daisy dukes [...]