In our essay, From the New York Times to Netflix: Schoolgirl Sleepover Sex Stories in Mainstream Media, we related that Nancy Jo Sales wrote in American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers (Knopf, 2016) that Riley, a 13-year-old middle-school student in Montclair, New Jersey, a “green-eyed girl with dark blond hair”, had “hooked up for the first time” with Danny in a “house where the parents weren’t there; such parties took place in the afternoons when parents were at work”. In addition to “weed and vodka”, there was “making out, blowjobs, [and] handjobs”.
Subsequently, Riley, whose parents were writers, hooked up with Danny in his bed during sleepovers. Danny’s parents even provided the middle-school couple with breakfast in bed! Riley shared with Sales,
“We went over to each other’s houses. I had sleepovers at Danny’s house. His parents made up breakfast and brought it up to his room.”
If you’re wondering why (some) parents allow middle-schoolers to hook up during sleepovers, Victoria, a 13-year-old “brown-haired and freckled faced” schoolgirl, shared with Sales that she, “[…] heard some moms at a bat mitzvah talking about their kids having a boy-girl sleepover”, which the moms referred to as “cute”. And Sophia, “tall, with straight black hair”, added that parents do it because “it’s being ‘feminist”’, and that the parents want to be considered “cool” by their daughters.
And take Savannah, who wore “short shorts and halter tops that showed “side boob”, and who ruled her Brooklyn, NY middle school. Savannah had a “famous dad” who was “someone in the news”, she had a nanny, and an additional house in the Hamptons with a pool. Savannah’s parents let her boyfriend “stay over at her house all night sometime”. Savannah shared with Sales that her parents didn’t want to “repress” or “control her sexuality”. Consequently, Savannah’s classmates considered her and her parents to be totally “cool”.
However, the desire to achieve cool status may not be the only reason parents allow hooking up during sleepovers. Take Rich Cohen’s post on Air Mail: “Always Be Suspicious of the “Cool Mom”: A sex scandal involving teens and a mother engulfs upscale Greenwich, Connecticut” (February 26, 2022)
In the post, Cohen wrote about Hadley Palmer, whom pleaded guilty to three counts of voyeurism and one count of risk of injury to a minor. Per Cohen, Hadley: “live[d] in one of the swankest houses in Belle Haven, [in] one of the toniest sections of Greenwich, Connecticut, [and in] one of the richest towns in America”. And in that swanky Connecticut house, Hadley, an apparent voyeur, encouraged teen sex. Cohen wrote:
Beware the cool mom [...] She’s against pre-marital sex, but says, if you must, because of urges, please not in the car, nor in some dirty motel, but here, in the guest room at the big house by the shore—no, not that room, nor that one, nor that one, nor that one (her house is huge) but in the one at the end of the hall by the maid’s quarters and laundry.
If you don’t believe me, check out the legal papers recently filed in the State Superior Court in Stamford, Connecticut, where 53-year-old Hadley Palmer of Greenwich, after striking a deal with prosecutors, pleaded guilty to three counts of voyeurism and one count of risk of injury to a minor.
In addition, Angela Andaloro posted on People, “11-Year-Old Calls Mom from a Sleepover After Discovering a Camera in Her Friend's Bedroom” (March 12, 2025) In the piece, Andaloro wrote that, during a sleepover, an 11-year-old girl noticed that there were cameras in her friend’s room. The cameras were supposed to be for security purposes, but turned off; however, there were lights on the cameras that indicated that the cameras were recording. And after the 11-year-old put a shirt over a camera, the mother of the sleepover host “removed the shirt, didn’t say anything and left".
Consequently, one should not be (totally) surprised by "The Doorway" (2013), the premier episode of the 6th season of Mad Men. In the episode, while staying with the Francis family, Sandy, a 15-year-old violin protégé and Juilliard hopeful, performed a Chopin piece. Consequently, Betty Francis, the matriarch, shockingly suggested that Henry, the patriarch, rape Sandy.
Betty even offered several ways to help and provided tips for the ravishment. For example, Betty offered to restrain Sandy, and Betty offered to take their daughter for a ride, so that Henry could be alone with Sandy, but Betty advised Henry to put a rag in Sandy’s mouth, so her screams wouldn’t “wake the boys”.
Betty, “You’re so calm from all that violin [...] You and Bobby [our son] had the same look on your face when she was playing. She’s [only] a year older than Sally [our 14-year-old daughter]. Shame on you.”
Henry, “No one would blame me for leaving you for a teenage musician.”
Betty, “She’s just in the next room. Why don’t you go in there and rape her? I’ll hold her arms down [...] You said you wanted to spice things up. Will it ruin it if I’m there? You know what? If you want to be alone with her, I’ll put on my housecoat and take Sally for a ride. You can stick a rag in her mouth, and you won’t wake the boys [...] My goodness. You’re blushing.”
In the end, Betty reminded us of the wife of Augustus, the first emperor of the Roman Empire from 27 BC to 14 AD. We wrote in The Allure of Nymphets (Lad Literature) that Matt Ridley related in the New York Times Notable Book The Red Queen (Harper Perennial) that Augustus had “a passion for deflowering girls”, and according to Roman historian Suetonius, the virgins were conveniently procured by Augustus’ wife.