Thursday, March 19, 2015

From Mozart to The Beatles: Songs About Nymphets

I briefly touched on songs about nymphets in the first edition of The Allure of Nymphets; however, I'm including an entire chapter on the subject in the second edition of the book. Until the second edition is released, here's an excerpt from the manuscript of the new chapter:

French songwriter, poet, artist, actor and director Serge Gainsbourg's famous  age-discrepant relationship with Jane Birkin doesn't fit the strict definition of ephebophilia (Jane only looked like she was eighteen.) but their eighteen-year age difference is close enough to warrant a reference in this book.  However, in 1966 Serge wrote “Les Sucettes [Enlgish: Lollipops] for eighteen-year-old blonde songstress France Gall. The song is about Anna, a young girl who was in paradise every time that "stick slides down her throat". Gall emphatically claimed that she did not know that the song, which on the surface appeared to be a children's song, was about oral sex. However, the very phallic, approximately twelve inch, lollipop that she sucked on in the video should have been a clear clue as to the nature of the song. Unsurprisingly, “Les Sucettes” was Gall's biggest hit.

In 1980, The Police, a British rock  group, released the sing "Don't Stand So Close to Me". The song is about a sexual relationship between a high school English teacher and one of his students. In the first verse of the song the student fantasized about her teacher. “She wants him so badly.” The second verse revealed that the girl was the teacher's favorite student, which made her friends very jealous. The closeness of his young student left the teacher tempted and frustrated. “So bad it makes him cry.” It is implied in the song that their teacher-student affair began after the teacher noticed the girl waiting in the cold rain at a bus stop while he idled in his “warm and dry” car. Sting, the lead singer of Police and the song's writer, elaborated in the book The Police: l'Historia Bandido that the girl's virginity was subsequently taken by her teacher after she entered the comfort of his warm car.  Interestingly, The Police won the 1982 Grammy Award for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal for "Don't Stand So Close to Me".

In 1989 LL Cool J released the album Walking With a Panther. The album reached the top position on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums and peaked at number six on the Billboard 200 charts. One of the most popular singles on the album, "Big Ole Butt", reached number thirteen on the Hot Rap Singles and number fifty-seven on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks charts. As you may be able to partially discern from the song's title, the song is about how LL threatened to end his relationship with his live-in girlfriend after he meets new girls with large posteriors. In the second verse of the rap song, LL drove to the local high school to find a high school girl, which was the kind of girl that he enjoyed and adored. There were so many young girls at the high school that LL “...felt like a kid in a candy store.” Despite the large number of nymphets and the difficulty it posed in choosing just one, LL choose Brenda, a seventeen-year-old whom he said, “...had the kind of booty that I'd always remember.” Soon after, LL “pulled out the steel” and they had sex on his bearskin rug next to a roaring fire à la Errol Flynn and Beverly Aadland. (The age of consent is seventeen in New York; therefore, LL wasn't violating any (secular) laws by having sex on a bearskin rug with a seventeen-year-old.)

In 1972, Big Star, an American power pop band, released the song “Thirteen” on their debut album #1 Record. In terms of ephebophilia, the chorus-less song is unusual because the protagonist initiated the age-discrepant relationship. 'Won't you let me walk you home from school?\Won't you let me meet you at the pool?' And using a technique that could have been culled from Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction, the hebephile appealed to the nymphet's villainous side by asking her to risk being in an illegal sexual relationship. He asked, "Would you be an outlaw for my love?" Despite the song's controversial content, Rolling Stone listed the song number 406 on its Top 500 Songs Of All Time list and referred to the song as a beautiful celebration of adolescence. 

"I Saw Her Standing There" was the first song on the Beatles' 1963 debut album Please Please Me. The song is about man who fell in love with a nymphet after they “danced though the night”. The girl was “just seventeen” and looked “way beyond compare”. The song which was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney peaked at number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and was ranked number 139 on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list. Consequently, by Mark Lewisohn related in the book Tune In: The Beatles: All These Years that McCartney was dating Celia Mortimer, a seventeen-year-old maiden, while he was co-writing the hit song.

If you have a more high-brow taste in music read the post on Mozart's opera Don Giovanni. And reference Line's Tumblr post  for an extensive list of songs about age-gap relationships. 

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