Thursday, July 9, 2020

Snapchat's LOVE DON'T JUDGE: Age-Gap Couples | "I Had A Baby With My Classmate's Dad"



In a previous post, we wrote about @agegaplife, which is an Instagram account that profiles age-gap relationships. Not to be outdone, Snapchat's Love Don't Judge is a Snap Original that highlights age-gap relationships. 


One episode is titled "He's Not My Grandfather, He's My Husband" and another is titled "I Had A Baby With My Classmate's Dad".

Monday, July 6, 2020

DARE ME: A Novel: Teen Cheerleader Sex and Seduction


We've written about Dare Me's USA television series adaptation. And we've written about Megan Abbott's, the author's, other novel The End of Everything. Now we'll peruse Dare Me - the novel.

Here's part of the novel's plot summary from the author's website:

Addy Hanlon has always been Beth Cassidy's best friend and trusted lieutenant. Beth calls the shots and Addy carries them out, a long-established order of things that has brought them to the pinnacle of their high-school careers. Now they're seniors who rule the intensely competitive cheer squad, feared and followed by the other girls -- until the young new coach [Coach Colette French] arrives [...] The raw passions of girlhood are brought to life in this taut, unflinching exploration of friendship, ambition, and power. 

The novel is very similar to the series but with some interesting changes. For example, a lipstick lesbian affair between Beth and Addy could be inferred in the novel, but it was apparent in the series. 

A popular fetish is fantasizing about teen cheerleaders. And Addy, the novel's 16-year-old narrator, shared: "All those misty images of cheerleaders frolicking in locker rooms, pom-poms sprawling over bare bud breasts. All those endless fantasies and dirty boy-dreams, they're all true, in a way."


By page 16, the first example of an age-gap affair appears: "Brinnie's slutty sister got caught making out with the assistant custodian [...]"

Addy shared some bawdy details about Beth: "She rides horses, has a secret library of erotic literature [...] In eighth grade, no, summer after, at a beer party, Beth put her scornful little-girl mouth on Ben Trammel, you know where. [...] He was grinning, holding her head down, gripping her hair [...]

Like in the USA series, Beth made a wager with RiRi, her cheer mate, to see who could be the first to seduce Sarge Will, an on-campus military recruiter, who was described as: "[...] handsome in a way unfamiliar to us. A grown-up man, a man in real life." 

RiRi tried: "[...] leaning [...] arms pressed tight against either side of her breasts, framing them V-like and drawing one foot up her other leg, like she says men like." However, Beth said, "I find they [i.e., men] like it when I lift my cheer skirt over my head."

In addition, to RiRi and Beth, Addy shared: "All the [high school] girls are hurling themselves at him [...]"


Addy shared: "Beth is the dark mistress of such nights and seems always to know where the secret house party is [...] [where] college boys are so glad for girls like us, who never ask them even one question ever." 

Recently, we wrote about summer camp teen sexcapades; thus, it wasn't surprising to learn that, the summer after seventh grade, Beth received a "ringlet of hickeys from a counselor". But we were shocked to learn of girls sharing stories of "kissing their babysitters"!

Like in the USA series, the cheerleaders, including the 14-year-old JV cheerleaders, attended a hotel party with members of the military: "Because it's all okay because these are [Sarge] Will's men [...] one of them is pressing our heads together, wanting us to kiss [...] the Comfort Inn on Haber Road! - better still these men, grown men, Guardsmen [...]" And Addy narrated: "Who am I not to curl under their hard, angled arms?" 

In the USA series, with her consent, Corporal Prine, performed oral sex on Beth. But in the novel, Beth performed oral sex on Corporal Prine: "[He put his] hand on the back of my head and shoved it down there and kept saying, "Do me, cheerleader. Do me." But very interestingly, Beth said, "I made him make me. And he did. Can you believe he did?" And Beth shared that she and the Corporal had sex: "He held my head, he bent my legs back, he did it to me, Coach."  

Beth, the high school cheerleader's captain, had some interesting motivational techniques: "Give 'em the best blow-job smile you got. Turn it on, on, on." And: "Brace those arms. Bolt those knees. Look at that crowd like you're about to give them the best piece of ass they ever had. Sell it."

In the end, the bet between RiRi and Beth about who could be the first to seduce Sarge Will led to a death.


Lastly, from the author's website: "Award-winning novelist Megan Abbott, writing with what Tom Perrotta has hailed as "total authority and an almost desperate intensity," provides a harrowing glimpse into the dark heart of the all-American girl."

And New York Magazine opined in the Highbrow\Brilliant section of "The Approval Matrix" (August 6, 2012): "Megan Abbott's Dare Me hurtles past the glitter and angst of high school cheerleading, right to the bruising inner-struggles of adolescence."


Friday, July 3, 2020

Instagram's Age Gap Life



Have age gap relationships (finally) gone mainstream? Maybe, because Hayley Richardson, of the The Daily Mail, wrote a positive post about @agegaplife - an Instagram account that profiles age gap couples. 



Richardson wrote of the Instagram account: 

They say love has no boundaries, and that's certainly the case for these devoted couples who share age gaps of up to 30 years.

The lovebirds from around the world have shared their stories online to break the negative stereotypes around their age difference. 

Posting photos on the Instagram page @agegaplife, couples from all walks of life revealed the romantic tales behind their first meeting.

Lexie & Juan | 16 Year Age Gap

Lexie and Juan have been together for two years. They met when Lexie was 18 and Juan was 34. Lexie shared of Juan: "He's the best thing in my life."

Thursday, July 2, 2020

Famous Age-Gap Relationship: Dan Brown (56) & Judith Pietersen (20s)


We've written a number of posts about writers such as J.D. Salinger, and Erica Davies wrote about novelist Dan Brown in her post "CRACKED THE CODE Dan Brown ‘gave glamorous [young] mistress a $350,000 stallion and gift is key part of bitter divorce battle with ex-wife’" (2 Jul 2020) for The Sun:


The Da Vinci Code author's ex-wife Blythe Brown has accused him of having an affair with their former horse trainer, Judith Pietersen, in a lawsuit filed on Monday in New Hampshire.

Pietersen, who is in her 20s, met the couple [seven years ago] in 2013 when she flew from Holland to the US to train their horses. [We couldn't find an exact age for Pietersen, but it's very possible that she was a teen when she first started working for the Browns.]

The dressage rider isn't explicitly named in the lawsuit, but Blythe describes her ex's alleged mistress as a "young Horse trainer from Holland" and appears to reference her using the initials JP.


The 56-year-old novelist, an equestrian enthusiast, donated horses, a two-horse transportation truck, and a car to Pietersen in addition to paying for her training stable, Blythe claims in her lawsuit.

One of those gifts is supposedly a prize-winning stallion worth nearly $350,000 named LimiTed Edition.

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982): I was 13. It’s Just [Teen] Sex



Per IMDb, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) is about: A group of Southern California high school students [...] enjoying their most important subjects: sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.

The film doesn't have a lot of rock n' roll, it does contain some drugs, but there's a lot of [teen] sex. And two age-gap relationships. 

Four minutes into the teen comedy, the following conversation took place at a pizza parlor in Ridgemont Mall between between Stacy, a 15-year-old high school sophomore, and Ron Johnson, a 26-year-old audio consultant.

Ron Johnson: “You look like you could still be in high school.”
Stacy: “Yeah,  I know. Everybody says that.”
Ron Johnson: “How old are you?”
Stacy: “19. How old are you?”
Ron Johnson: “26. Do you think we could still be friends?”
Stacy: “So what can I get for you?”
Ron Johnson: “How about a meatball sandwich, a medium Coke, and your phone number?"


After work, Stacy shared with Linda, her co-worker and schoolmate, that Ron gave her his business card, but that she was hesitant about giving him a call. Linda adjured Stacy to call Ron, and Linda shared with Stacy that she had sex when she 13 and that it was no big deal because, "It's just sex." 

Linda: "Why don’t you call him?"
Stacy: "I can’t."
Linda: "Yes, you can. Guys love that sort of thing."
Stacy: "Really?"
Linda: "Yes. Stacy, what are you waiting for? You’re 15-years-old. I did it when I was 13. It’s no huge thing. It’s just sex."

By the way, Linda is having an age-gap affair with Doug: "He’s no high school boy."


During lunch in Ridgemont High's cafeteria, Linda was flabbergasted to learn that Stacy didn't know how to give a blowjob. Consequently, to the delight of the high school boys, Linda taught Stacy how to perform fellatio on a carrot.


Linda, "You’ve never given a blow job? Never? Stace, there’s nothing to it. It’s so easy. Relax your throat muscles. Don’t bite. And slide it in. Good. Push it slowly in and out. You got it!"


After taking Linda's advice to call Ron, Stacy had a rendezvous with the audio consultant. Consequently, Ron drove Stacy to a baseball field and took her virginity in the dugout after he asked, "Are you really 19?" Stacy lied, "Yeah, yeah I am. I’m really 19."


(Note: IRL, if Stacy had reported Ron for (statutory) rape, almost no one would have believed that Stacy told Ron that she was 19.)

In school, Stacy shared with Linda, "[...] it hurt so bad." To which Linda consoled, "Don’t worry. Keep doing it. It gets a lot better. I swear."


Interestingly, Amy Heckerling, the film's director, made full use of the allure of nymphets by showing both the Stacy and Linda topless. 

Per Wikipedia, Fast Times at Ridgemont High was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant". And the film cost $5 million to make, but it made $50 million.


Lastly, the film is based on Cameron Crowe's book Fast Times at Ridgemont High: A True Story.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

THE MORNING SHOW: Powerless Young(er) Women in Sexual Choices?


"Oh God. You think because you're older than me and technically my superior [...], I can't have decided to f_ck you without being taken advantage of? What, because you're the big powerful [...] man, I lose all agency in my sexual choices?" 
Claire Conway The Morning Show (s01e04)

Thursday, June 25, 2020

ANGUS, THONGS AND FULL-FRONTAL SNOGGING: Teen Threesome with DiCaprio & Brad Pitt


Here's Amazon's description of Louise Rennison's Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson:

Her dad's got the mentality of a Teletubby (only not so developed). Her cat, Angus, is trying to eat the poodle next door. And her best friend thinks she looks like an alien - just because she accidentally shaved off her eyebrows. Ergghhhlack. Still, add a little boy-stalking, teacher-baiting, and full-frontal snogging with a Sex [g]od, and Georgia's year just might turn out to be the most fabbitty fab fab ever!

The YA novel, which is filled with teleiophilia, starts off by Georgia exclaiming: "I am fourteen years old [...] I am bursting with womanhood, I wear a bra!" 

While they were "lolling about" on Georgia's "[...] bed, listening to the Top Forty [...]", Ellen, Georgia's schoolmate, shared, "I went to a Christmas party at my cousin's last year and this boy from Liverpool was there. I think he was a sailor. Anyway, he was nineteen or something, and he brought some mistletoe and kissed me."

Georgia desperately wanted to know what Ellen did with her tongue. 

She [Ellen] said, "I can't really remember. It was a bit tickly and it didn't last long, but I liked it, I think. He was quite nice, but he had a girlfriend and I suppose he thought I was just a little thirteen-year-old who hadn't been around much."


While in Jennings', a shop, "[...] a Sex [g]od came out of the back room. I swear he was so gorgeous it made you blink and open your mouth like a goldfish [...] I wonder how old he is? I must become more mature quickly. I'll start tomorrow." 

Georgia opined that Herr Kamyer, her German and physics teacher and the only male teacher, was "the only bright spot" in her all-girls' school. And when Kamyer was out with a cold, Georgia's reaction was, "Double damn. When am I going to have any fun? Sacré blue."

Jackie, another schoolmate, changed in a "loo" in a park out of her school uniform into a satin crop top and tight trousers before she shared with Georgia, "I've got a date with the DJ at Loveculture - he's so cool. I think he's about thirty but I like mature men." 

13-year-old Georgia considered making a Faustian bargain: "[...] like swap my dad's soul in exchange for bigger breasts for the party on Friday."

Georgia had a sleepover with Jas - another schoolmate. The nymphets looked through Georgia's bedroom window to see if they could see into Mr. Next Door's bedroom. Georgia and Jas wanted to see what the man next door wore to bed. 

Georgia walked up to Mark who was smoking near a phone box. Georgia described what happened next: [...] he threw his cigarette down [...] he just kissed me right on the open mouth [...] Also, he put his tongue in my mouth, which was a bit of a surprise [...] And he put his hand on my breast! [...]" However, ironically after that, Mark informed Georgia, "[...] I think you're too young for me. I'm going back to Ella because she lets me do things to her. Sorry, see you later."


Georgia shared one her dreams:

[...] in the privacy of the changing room I began to get undressed [...] When I got down to my (well-filled D-cup) bra and knickers I was startled to find someone had come into the room. It was Leonardo DiCaprio [...] Then he started covering my quivering [...] body with kisses. Just then someone else came in [...] Leo said, "It's OK, it's only Brad," and Brad Pitt came and joined us." 

Why is a thong mentioned in the YA novel's title - you may ask? Well, in addition to Mr. [Man] Next Door, Georgia and Jas spied on Lindsay. This is what they saw: "Lindsay emerged from the bathroom with her hair all scraped back from her face and wearing a bra and thong [...] Lindsay didn't have any hair on her womanly parts! [...] She got some sort of pink rubber things and put them in her bra underneath her "breasts." The rubber things pushed up her "breasts" and made it look like she had a cleavage."

At a pajama party sleepover, Georgia and her schoolmates: "[...] decided to dare each other. It started off with taking your knickers (i.e., panties) off and putting them on your head and so on, and then I dared Sarah to go and stand on the garden wall and drop her pajama trousers and knickers (i.e., panties). She did." In addition, Georgia ran, in the nude, down the block and back. 

It was revealed later in the YA novel that the Sex [g]od's name was Robbie. Georgia further described him as: "[...] all muscly and dark and ooohhhhh." [Emphasis mine] Georgia cut school and returned home after her Mum and little sister left to await the Sex [g]od's  arrival. But after Robbie entered Georgia's home, to her dismay, he said, "[...] I am attracted to you [...] but I can't go out with you [...] Because you're too young [i.e., 14-years-old]. I'm nearly eighteen - it wouldn't be right, it would be like cradle-snatching."

After Robbie left, Georgia thought: "To young for him. Oh merde merde merd, double merde. However, two days later the persistent nymphet slash teleiophile uttered: "Eureka!!! I've got it!!! [...] There is a way I can convince Robbie that I am more mature than my fourteen years....I have to dye a blond streak in my hair." 



Well, based on one of Rennison's subsequent volumes, On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God, Georgia got her man.

Lastly, per Wikipedia, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging won the Nestlé Smarties Book Prize Bronze Award, was shortlisted for the Branford Boase Award and was voted #127 in the BBC's Big Read poll to find the UK's favourite book. It was also named a Printz Honor book in 2001.

 




Tuesday, June 23, 2020

STATE VS NATASHA BANINA (2020): A (Zoom) Play About a Teen's Obsession with a Reporter



Here's the slightly misleading Story for State vs Natasha Banina from the Arlekin Players website:

In State vs Natasha Banina (based on Natasha’s Dream by Yaroslava Pulinovich), a girl tells the story of her life in a small-town orphanage, and her desire to be free; break out of her world. From the inside of a “ZOOM” court room, she will make twists and turns through her unique appeal to audiences as the jurors, letting them into her world where she dreams about love, family, acceptance, adjusting and her future. Ultimately the two worlds collide and you get to decide her fate.


But Maya Phillips, in her New York Times review, gives a much better summary of the play, which is about: "[...]  the testimony of Natasha Banina (Denisova), a Russian teenage orphan being tried for manslaughter [...] And here’s when things got bad, she tells us: When she met a journalist who took an interest in covering her hardships at the orphanage, she became infatuated with him, then obsessed, until she was driven to commit a crime of passion. At the end, the audience votes on her fate: guilty or not guilty?

The reporter interviewed 16-year-old Natasha after she, on a dare from another teen, jumped out of the third floor window of the orphanage. 

After Natasha meet the reporter, she referred to him as, "My throb". She shared that he made her heart go, "Boom. Boom. Boom." When she didn't see him for days, she exclaimed, "I'm dying! I want to see him so bad!" Later, when she went to visit the reporter at the paper, she opined, "God he's cute." And she watched him write, "Like a novelist's wife."

Although the reporter said, "Natasha, you have beautiful eyes." Natasha waited for him to kiss her, but assumed that he didn't because he was, "Afraid, I wasn't 18 yet."

In the end, the Zoom jury had to decide if Natasha was guilty or innocent of attempted manslaughter for what she did to the reporter's privileged companion whom Natasha referred to as, "Bitch. Bitch. Slut. [...] What right does she have to take him away from me?[...] I had him first!"

State vs Natasha Banina is New York Times Critics' Pick.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

BLUSH (2019): Writhing & Thrusting Middle School Nymphets



IMDb describes Blush (2019) as:  The sexual, psychological, and moral unraveling of an obsessive-compulsive suburban mom.

One minute and forty-five seconds into the film, which was written and directed by Debra Eisenstadt, Cathy and Matthew went to Lincoln Middle School to see Tara, their 13-year-old daughter, dance in a Fall Fair performance. 


Blush's opening scene reminded me of Lawrence Downes' New York Times (Dec. 29, 2006) editorial in which he described what he witnessed at a Long Island middle school talent show where the nymphets were: "[...] in teams of three or four [...] in tiny skirts or tight shorts, with bare bellies, rouged cheeks and glittery eyes."

Downes wrote that it was hard for him "to erase the images" of middle school girls (i.e., sixth, seventh and eighth graders) writhing, strutting, shaking their bottoms, splaying their legs, and thrusting their chests on the stage of a Long Island middle school while Janet Jackson sang, “Don’t stop don’t stop. Jerk it like you’re making it choke [...] Ohh. I’m so stimulated. Feel so X-rated.” In addition, Downes was surprised that the parents of the pre-teens cheered and applauded the "eroticized" performances.


And the opening scene in Blush reminded me of an episode of #blackAF (S01E03) when Joya Barris (Rashida Jones) happened upon Izzy, her 13-year-old daughter, dancing provocatively in a hot pink crop top and a pair of jean shorts, which were rolled up to make them even shorter. Izzy was accompanied by two other dancing nymphets - all of whom were filming a video to be posted on Izzy's Instagram account. Needless to say, Izzy's mother was mortified. 


But unlike, Downes, Izzy's mother, and Tara's mother, Matthew appeared to enjoy his writhing and thrusting daughter and her team of provocatively dancing nymphets. 

Per Deadline, Blush premiered at the 2019 Sundance Film Festival. 

Ansel Elgort is NOT a Pedophile


In 2013, we went to Times Square to see a teen horror film. We noticed that there were a number of upper-middle class looking middle-aged couples on line. They looked like the type of moviegoers we would normally see at the Lincoln Center for films like Lazy Hazy Crazy (2015), The Diary of a Teenage Girl, or Anthony Weiner's documentary Weiner (2016) but not Carrie (2013). And especially not in Times Square where a raucous audience can supplement a moviegoers viewing experience. 

Upon taking our seats, we learned that the middle class looking patrons were friends and family members of Ansel Elgort, the film's co-star, who was sitting three rows in front of us.

As I was perusing this afternoon's trending on Twitter list, I was surprised to see Ansel's name. Ansel was trending, because Gabby accused him of sexually assaulting her "a couple of days" after she turned 17. "And he was in his 20s"


The nymphet admitted that she initiated the contact with Ansel. "I had dmed him on [sic] when it was two days before my 17th birthday and I got his private Snapchat."

But then she opined: "[...] I was just a kid and was a fan of him [...] I WAS SO YOUNG AND HE KNEW THAT [...] I was fucking 17 [...] I was only 17. As well as asked to have a threesome with me and one of my "dance friends" they were as well underage [...]"


Consequently, a number of people tweeted "Ansel Elgort is a pedophile". But that's not true. 

The accuser admitted that she was 17, which is the age-of-consent in New York. (BTW, it's 16 across the Hudson in Jersey.) But even if this encounter took place in LA, where the age-of-consent is 18, Ansel would not be considered a pedophile, because Gabby was postpubertal. 

Gabby and Ansel

There’s a difference between the general public term for pedophilia and the technical professional term for pedophilia. The public’s definition is associated with someone who’s sexually attracted to girls under the age of 18; however, the clinical definition of pedophilia is:
  1. A sexual preference for pre-pubertal or early pubertal children 
  2. For six months or more the person has acted on those urges or suffers from distress as a result of having the urges
  3. And the individual must be at least 16-years-old and at least five years older than the subject of desire
    Hebephilia is when a man is attracted to adolescents or girls who are approximately between the ages of 12 to 16-years-old. Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents - generally ages between 15 to 19. And nympholepsy [nim-fuh-lep-see ] is a passion aroused in men by beautiful young girls (i.e., postpubertal nymphets). (Oxford).

    Thus, if the allegations are true, Ansel could be more accurately referred to as an ephebophile or a general nympholept. But per Matt Ridley's New York Times Notable Book, The Red Queen, and the documentary Are All Men Pedophiles? (2013), all men are nympholepts. 

    Lastly but interestingly, a number of (young) women shared on Twitter that Gabby was "lucky" and wished to be in her place. 


    Blueberry Shadow posted: "I wish I was her. my baby driver. my ultimate crush, let's do that in the car LMAO [Crying emoji] Ansel Engort dm me"


    And E-A Thomas posted: "She's so lucky omg [Heart eyes emoji] (The post got at least 309 Likes)


    Thursday, June 18, 2020

    James Franco's PALO ALTO (2010): Teen Oral Orgies, Teen (Anal) Sex Orgies, a Student-Teacher Affair & A Lot More


    Here's part of Amazon's plot summary for James Franco's Palo Alto: Stories:

    James Franco’s story collection traces the lives of a group of teenagers as they experiment with vices of all kinds, struggle with their families and one another, and succumb to self-destructive, often heartless nihilism. 

    And "vices of all kinds" is no hyperbole. Franco wrote about: teen oral orgies, teen (anal) sex orgies, a student-teacher affair, and a lot more - including a number of age-gap sexual scenes and references. 

    Let's take a look at some of the teen "vices" in the short stories:
    "Lockheed"

    In "Lockheed", during the summer between her freshman and sophomore year of high school, Marissa got a summer job recording "blemishes and splices" in "old film reels of the moon." However, Marissa got bored and drew: "[...] people getting shot and bleeding, and people having sex." Marrisa shared that her life was boring too. "I only had one kiss, and it was with my gay cousin, Jamie." And at a high school party, Marrisa saw Zack Cuttle, a water polo player: "[...] getting a blow job from someone behind the car."

     "Emily"

    In "Emily", Emily shared that Ryan wasn't: "[...] like the assholes in my grade like Adam and Roberto who just wanted to fuck and do it in the ass. Or come on my face like a porn star [...]" At the Patten twins' house party, Emily played "I Never" with the twins and a "bunch of other girls." Here are the rules of the game: "Someone says, "I never..." and if you've done the thing that they say [...] you have to drink."

    "I never had sex at school."
    I [Emily] drank.
    "I never had sex with two guys at once."
    I [Emily] drank.
    "I never had sex with three guys at once."

    After the game, Emily described what she did to Ryan in one of the twins' bedrooms: "[...] I told him to lie back and he did. His feet were on the floor. Then I undid his pants. I pulled his boxer shorts down to his feet. I did if for a while. He made sounds [...] After it was finished [...] I asked him if he liked it."

    "Camp"

    In "Camp", at the YMCA water-ski camp, some twelve and thirteen-year-old boys dared Howard to "make out" with Angela, a Black girl, in the back of the bus. Consequently, Howard kissed Angela, the other boys saw Howard feel Angela's "small breasts", and under the towel he felt her vagina."

    In "Camp" is where we see our first example of nympholepsy. The narrator related that he had his first girlfriend in forth grade - in Mr. DeFelice's class. "Her name was Simone. She was pretty and blonde like Madonna [...] Once Simone said Mr. DeFelice asked if he could take pictures of her at his house, but her mom wouldn't let her go."

    Later, the narrator shared: "The second time [I had sex] was in Susan's bed. I was about to come [...] After, when we pulled away, it was sticky and frothy. Buttery, like pulling apart a Baby Ruth."

    "Chinatown In Three Parts"

    "Chinatown In Three Parts" is about Pam, a half Vietnamese and half Caucasian teen, whom, Roberto, the 16-year-old narrator, met in Jordan Middle School's parking lot. 

    In "Part 1: Vietnam", after smoking "a lot of pot" at Tom's house, Roberto suggested to Pam, "Let's play 'Camping'!" Roberto shared what he did to Pam during Camping: [...] I took her pants off. [...] Her ass was fantastic, very hard. And her tits were big for an Asian. I spit on my hand, and then I put my dick inside her. It was good [...]"

    In "Part II: Headless", Pam gave Roberto a "blow job" in the shed behind her home. "I asked her if she liked it. She said that she did. Then I left."

    A week later, Pam, "on her knees in the middle of the soft, manicured [lawn] bowling green", had an (oral sex) orgy with Seth, Tom and Roberto. Roberto described his turn:

    "After, Tom zipped up [...] She stayed on her knees. Next, I walked over to her, before Seth, because I didn't want her to be too messy. She had to do it for a while. I made a mess. It got on her shirt and hair. I laughed, and Tom laughed. She was all messy for Seth." 

    The following summer, between her sophomore and junior year of high school, Pam visited Simon Kats' house. Conveniently: "His mom worked nights as a nurse." On one occasion, Roberto got Pam naked before: "The guys lined up outside the bedroom. We went in, two and three at a time. Everyone fucked her. She got really messy." 

    Roberto described what he did to Pam: "I put a carrot in her butt. Everyone in the door was laughing [...] She let me keep it in there for a while. I moved it in and out. Then Jose and Angelo stopped, and we turned her over onto her back. I put a cucumber inside her. She didn't really want it, but I shoved it up there. I kept it up there for a while."

    In "Part III: Caffe Buon", Al, an Italian bartender at Caffee Buon, told Roberto that if he got him "laid", Roberto could have a free dinner. Consequently, at five o'clock on a Monday, Robert took Pam to the restaurant where Al, who is also a friend of Roberto's dad, had sex in the bathroom while Roberto dined on "a chicken dinner with farfalle". (Later, Roberto took Pam back to Caffee Buon. Roberto lunched on angel hair pasta with shrimp while Juan, a cook, and Pam had sex in the kitchen's bathroom)

    Lastly, Franco returned to teen sex. In the parking lot behind Palo Alto High School: "She [Pam] got into the back seat. She was on her hands and knees on the seat. Seth got behind her [...] He pushed her skirt up and took off her panties. Ramone stood at the open back door, in front of her face, and undid his pants. His dick was huge [...] Seth was doing it really hard, and the car was shaking. Pam was choking [...]"

    "April In Three Parts"

    In "Part III: April" of the short story "April In Three Parts", April attended a bat mitzvah where Shauna became a "woman". But before going to the bat mitzvah, April went to Mr. B's house to babysit Michael - Mr. B's five-year-old son. April and Michael watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which April described as: "Sex in a baseball dugout, sex in a pool, and abortion." By the way, Mr. B is April's forty-two-year-old tanned 8th grade soccer coach.

    After Mr. B returned from his date with another teacher, April put on her "light lavender" dress for the bat mitzvah. Before driving April to the bat mitzvah and giving her a kiss on the cheek, Mr. B informed April, "I really fucking like you, April." April replied, "I like you too."

    After losing at the soccer championships at a junior high school in Los Altos, Mr. B drove April to his house. April described what happened: "We went to the couch. I was wearing sweats and he undressed me and got a condom and I lay on my back and we did it, simple. And then it was over. I was fourteen."

    Mr. B, whom April described as having "[...] a good body, good hair, and a nice smile", and April had an age-gap teacher-student affair for almost two years. It even continued after April started high school at Paly. The only person who knew about the affair was April's sister who opined that the affair was "okay" as long as Mr. B and April were in love. 

    "Tar Baby"

    "Tar Baby" elaborates a bit on April. We learn that April moved to Palo Alto: "[...] at thirteen with her tan and muscular legs, [and that] she had already fucked [before having sex with Mr. B]." In addition, after April started high school, she began "[...] fucking older guys. This guy Denny Johnson and this guy Adam Cohen. They played water polo, and were really tall. Also my friend Barry." 

     "I Could Kill Someone"

    Lastly, in "I Could Kill Someone", "[...] in eighth grade Teague took Kate ["Keller, who went to the all-girls school, Castilleja."] to Wayne's World and fingered her during the whole movie. Just watching and working."

    Interestingly, O, The Oprah Magazine, opined of Palo Alto: Stories: "Spare and riveting." (I'm not sure what spare means in this context.) The Economist opined: Startling and original." And Vogue concluded: "Compelling and gutsy."

    Wednesday, June 17, 2020

    Famous Ephebophile: Jerry Seinfeld (39) & Shoshanna Lonstein (17)


    Shoshanna Lonstein and Jerry Seinfeld

    I was perusing the trending section of Twitter when I indirectly came upon Jerry Seinfeld's relationship with Shoshanna Lonstein.

    Per Jordan Sargent's article, "Remember When 39-Year-Old Jerry Seinfeld Dated a 17-Year-Old?", posted on Defamer (06/29/15):

    1993 was a good year for Jerry Seinfeld. His sitcom, which was on its way to becoming one of the most celebrated shows in television history, won an Emmy in the category of “Outstanding Comedy Series” [...] And, just a hair shy of 40, he met a woman who would capture his heart: a high school student he picked up one day in Central Park.

    Shoshanna Lonstein was a senior at the prestigious Nightingale-Bamford School on the Upper West Side when, on a spring afternoon, she was approached by one of the most well-known comedians in the country [...] a short conversation, she gave her phone number to the comedian, sparking a relationship that would begin around her high school graduation and end right after her college one.

    Jerry Seinfeld and Shoshanna Lonstein

    Per  Karen S. Schneider's People cover story, "LOOK WHO'S IN LOVE: Jerry Seinfeld, 39, and Shoshanna Lonstein, 18, make an unlikely romance work" (March 28, 1994), Jerry referred to the nymphet as: “[...] the most wonderful girl in the world.” And Seinfeld shared, “Shoshanna is a person, not an age. She is extremely bright. She’s funny, sharp, very alert. We just get along. You can hear the click.”"

    Schneider wrote that Seinfeld claimed that “the age issue” was immediately “forgotten.” I doubt that, but I can imagine Seinfeld periodically pinching himself and exclaiming, "I can't believe she's only 17!"

    And unlike most men, Seinfeld wasn't shy about being open with his nympholepsy. Schneider wrote:

    Within weeks after their first date, friends and neighbors grew accustomed to the sight of the Seinfeld limousine idling outside the Upper East Side luxury apartment building where Lonstein lives [...]

    The Lonsteins have always approved of the romance. “Shoshanna is very mature,” says a source close to the family. “Jerry is thoughtful, a good person.

    Shoshanna Lonstein and  Jerry Seinfeld

    If Seinfeld weren't famous, one would have assume that the age-gap affair would not have been condoned by the nymphet's family. And it probably didn't hurt that Seinfeld was Jewish and wealthy. Schneider elaborated:

    At George Washington University in Washington, where Lonstein, now 18, enrolled in September, the couple walk arm in arm across campus when Seinfeld pops in for an occasional visit. 

    On weekend trips to Los Angeles, where he tapes his show”, they have eggs and cheesecake with his friends and cast members at Jem’s Famous Deli in Studio City before heading off to spend an afternoon shooting hoops in the park.

    Sadly, they never married, and the age-gap affair ended after approximately five years. 

    Thursday, June 11, 2020

    Netflix's NEVER HAVE I EVER: An Indian Teen Sexual Conquistador


    Sarah Larson summarized the opening scene of Netflix's Never Have I Ever in her New Yorker piece “Never Have I Ever,” Reviewed: Hotness and Hotheads" (May 10, 2020):

    As the new Netflix coming-of-age series “Never Have I Ever” begins, its fifteen-year-old heroine, Devi Vishwakumar (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan), before heading off to her first day of sophomore year in high school, kneels in front of her household’s shrine [...] she wants to be invited to a party where she has “the opportunity to say, ‘No cocaine for me, thanks’ ”; thinner forearm hair; and, most important, a boyfriend—“and not some nerd from one of my A.P. classes.” He should be “a stone-cold hottie who can rock me all night long,” she says. (This is startling—she looks more like a kid than an adult.) 


    We agree with Larson that Devi's request for a "stone-cold hottie" boyfriend who could "rock" her "all night long" is startling. But we're confused by Larson's "[...] she looks more like a kid than an adult", because Larson already shared that Devi is a 15-year-old high school sophomore. 

    And that's the premise of the 10 episode series - 15-year-old Devi attempting to lose her virginity. And Netlfix, knowing the power of the allure of nymphets, approached Mindy Kaling about creating and writing the series - after they read Kaling's biographies.

    Mindy Kaling shared with Priya Arora in Arora's New York Times piece "Mindy Kaling’s Netflix Show Tells a New Kind of Story: One Like Hers" (April 27, 2020): “They [Netflix] had read my books and really loved the parts where I talk about being an adolescent and a teenager,” said Kaling. 


    In the series, Devi shared with her therapist that her focus in life was "Poppin' my cherry doc!" And that she was, "Ready to bone."


    And after Devi's classmate asked about the size of their schoolmate's penis, "Is his penis as big as it looks in those sweatpants?", Devi shared, "It's like I think about sex 24-7."

    There's no apparent nympholepsy in the series, but interestingly, once Devi's mother discovered that Devi had a boyfriend, Devi's mother assumed that her 15-year-old daughter's boyfriend was Frank - the [middle-aged] crossing guard with the receding hairline!


    In the end, John McEnroe, in a voice over, related to the viewers that Devi was, "[...] a friggin' sexual conquistador."

    As a side note, with marijuana becoming mainstream and legal in a number of states, teens, in films and IRL, are indulging in cocaine. For example, in Netflix's I Am Not Okay With This, Stanley Barber shared with Sydney, "You do realize that the entire [high school] cheerleading squad are actually dong lines of cocaine in the upstairs bathroom?" 

    This is partly due to the forbidden nature of the drug. For example, if Devi would have been offered marijuana, and replied ‘No marijuana for me, thanks’, that would not have been as shocking as, ‘No cocaine for me, thanks’. Not to mention pills. Devi begged her therapist for "[...] Paxil, Lexapro, Xanax, Zoloft? I'll try anything!"