Sunday, January 28, 2018

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: Chucky Lee Byrd, The Poet of Teen [Nymphet] Love



The subtitle on Saturday Night Live’s YouTube channel from last night’s (S43E12) "Chucky Lee Byrd" skit reads: “The songs of Chucky Lee Byrd (Will Ferrell) have a disturbing theme.”

In the skit, the “incomparable” Chucky Lee Byrd, The Poet of Teen Love, sings “gems” and “hits” from his five-disc boxset that “[…] will bring you back to a simpler time in music. A time of innocence [and] purity."

Here’s a list of songs with some lyrics from the A-side:

“Beauty Queen”: “She’s my little beauty queen. And she’s only seventeen. But she’s my beautiful – beautiful beauty queen.”

Candy Baby”: “And she’s sugar, sweet and clean. What should I get her for her sweet sixteen?”

“Farmer Girl”: “She grows corn. She grows beans. Her daddy hates me, ‘cause she’s only fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. That’s her age. She’s fourteen”

“My New T-Bird”: “She purrs so fine. She’s fresh off the line. I wanna make her mine. And this song is about a girl who’s thirteen. A thirteen. OK, she’s twelve.”

Here’s a list of songs on the B-side:
  1. “Cruising in My Windowless Van”
  2. “Girl Scout Cookie”
  3. “I Left My Heart Across State Lines”
  4. “Simple Girl from Across the Street”
  5. “Our Love Is a Crime”
  6. “First Day of School … Ever!”
  7. “Baby You Can Drive My Car If I’m In the Passenger Seat Because You Only Have a Permit”
  8. One and One Equals Eleven”

A number of people wrote in the comments that Chucky Lee Bird is an allusion to Jerry Lee Lewis who married Myra, his thirteen-year-old cousin.


Thursday, January 4, 2018

[UPDATE] MARGARET (2011): A High School Student Performs Oral Sex on Teacher




The current issue of the New Yorker (Jan. 8, 2018) has a review of Margaret (2011). The review mentioned that the film is: "[...] romantic yet scathing, lyrical with street life and vaulting skylines, reckless with first adventure, and awed by the intellectual and poetic abstractions on which the great machine runs." And that the film: "[...] stars Anna Paquin as Lisa Cohen, a headstrong private-school teen-ager [...]" However, the review strangely failed to mention that Lisa was an aggressive teleiophile. Below is my original May 8, 2013 post:


I wrote in The Allure of Nymphets that nymphets do not want to be treated like children, and they do not want ephebophiles to act like children. 

For example, in the film Margaret (2011), high school student Lisa (Anna Paquin) went to visit Mr. Aaron (Matt Damon), her high school teacher, at his Manhattan sublet to get advice, because she: "[...] didn't have anyone else to talk to." 

However, Mr. Aaron became distraught after Lisa performed oral sex on him, but Lisa was unsympathetic. 

She said, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell anybody. If that’s what you’re worried about. I totally initiated the whole thing. Anyway it’s just sex. You’re acting like a little kid. I’ll see you in [high] school.” 

The portrayal of Lisa as a sexually aggressive high school student is an accurate one; thus, Mr. Aaron should have been just as aggressive in rejecting her advances.